Should I take my 20 month old down to 3 days at nursery while I'm on mat leave again?

[ThisRedZebra]

My soon to be 20month old DS has been at nursery since he was 9 months old (1 day a week until he was a year old, and 4 days a week since then, as I went back to work). He goes in 9-3.45ish (we have two older kids aged 9 and 8 so pick him up directly after school). He really loves nursery and has a great relationship with all the caregivers. He's super happy to go in the morning and happy to be picked up too.

I'll be off on maternity again from next month with our 4th. Should I take DS out of nursery for another day so he's only in for 3 days? This would be mainly to save money (we're in Scotland so nursery isn't funded until he's 3), but also cos I feel guilty being at home and sending him to nursery, even if he does love it, and I'll be busy with a newborn

What would you do?

If it were me (and I’ve had four) I’d take it down to two days. Baby number 4 will hopefully slot in with the established routine.

I’m pregnant with my third and am increasing the number of days but reducing the hours each day, changing before the baby arrives so that not everything changes at once. When I had my second I really valued the time just with baby, to be able to sleep etc, and I felt short nursery days gave him some normality, so we’ll be doing the same again.

Personally I’d take it to two days as well, he’s still a baby as well and as I’m sure you’re aware they grow up so quickly. This is an opportunity to have some extra time with him.

I guess that's just it - I don't have an established routine as I'm currently working. I'm not starting maternity until my due date. I think you're right about having him home more though. It'll be nice for their relationship too, to spend time together. Maybe I could drop his hours a month after the baby is born, so I've had those few weeks to recover and get breastfeeding established etc, knowing he's taken care of at nursery...

I kept my toddler in nursery 5 days a week for two months after I had the baby and then reduced it to 3 days a week. I personally find it hard to clean with them both around so the 3 days I'm alone with the baby I can clean and batch cook

I had a 26 month gap and took the toddler down from 4 to 3 days when baby was about 3 months, which I found gave me best balance of having time to recover and adjust, keeping toddler’s routine in place at a time of upheaval, giving baby one-to-one time and getting to spend a bit more time with toddler. He was also getting to an age where I felt nursery was really benefiting him. Have to admit I did find the days with both of them really intense and exhausting at times! Everyone’s situation is different though and whilst on leave I met mums who had increased the number of nursery days for the oldest as well as those that had decreased. Depending on how much notice the nursery needs for you to adjust days, you could wait till baby is here before making a decision?

He’s only a baby himself. I would take him out completely (or keep him there for the least amount of time required in order to keep his place if you’re planning to return to work) and make the most of the time you have with them both.

I kept my toddler in nursery four days a week for the first few months to fully enjoy the new baby and get my head around it all and then dropped down to three when I was ready for it. No right / wrong answer here - just what's right for you and your family xx

Yes

Many parents do drop days or take them out completely when they are on maternity leave. The ones that have been out completely so settle in again very fast - this is my experience through working in a nursery. The older the child is (ie 3+) the more likely parents are to keep them in but shorter days. Those with younger children tend to take them out or just do a a couple mornings.

It depends what suits you best and if you need recovery time after the birth too. I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer. Keep in mind that if your baby is approaching two they may transition to a new room at nursery soon which may also cause disruption.