My toddler (2 years and 9 months) attends a community playgroup three mornings per week. On two of these days I am working and on one I am at home, catching up with various errands! Prior to joining she was either with me at home, or with grandparents. I am also expecting another baby in May.
After initially setting well in September, she has been very upset since around October at the idea of going to playgroup, being dropped off at playgroup and sometimes, whilst at playgroup. She had a particularly bad ear infection in October and missed a whole week of sessions. However, she has never really recovered her early confidence and recently her upset has extended to the evenings before she is due to go, when she will say that she doesn’t want to, she is going to feel unwell tomorrow, asking what day it is etc. She has been incredibly unlucky with almost constant illness since joining (this is her first experience of formal childcare) and so this has meant that she has missed sessions on and off all year so far and possibly hasn’t felt 100% whilst there either.
She started with two morning sessions in the autumn term, increased to three morning sessions after Christmas and is due to attend four morning sessions after Easter. However, I am so conflicted about how to help her move forwards. I think her main anxiety comes from the other children, as the staff say she is reluctant to join in with what they are doing unless an adult is nearby and she is prompted. She shows similar behaviour around other children when we are with her, for example at the park or on play dates. Her speech is very good and she feels much happier around older children for the most part. The playgroup staff think she is quietly observing, taking everything in, but they also note that she does not like it when other children are ‘boisterous’ around her (their words). I am conscious that complete avoidance of social interaction won’t help, but also have concerns that we might be creating a longer term anxiety around other children/going to nursery in September/school and beyond. At home she is a completely different child; never stops, is very chatty and affectionate, loves role play including ‘playgroup’ where she is the teacher and I am her. When we ask her why she does not want to go to playgroup, she simply says that she wants to stay at home (don’t we all). We have been very happy with the playgroup staff so far and trust them (her key worker is very warm and an established staff member of many years) but I wonder if I could be doing more at this point to support her. Any insights and experiences are so welcome, thank you.