Nursery settling session advice

[Harrielisabeth]

Hi everyone, my 10-month-old daughter has her “settling in” sessions at a nursery that’s just opened. The session is 1 hour with me there, 2 hours alone the next day, 3 hours alone the day after… and then she’s in full time.

Another mum told me that during her son’s first settling in session, he cried a lot and the staff member kept trying to keep hold of him even when he wanted cuddles with mum, and kept taking him off mum when she would cuddle him for comfort. The staff member also kept removing toys from him when he put them in his mouth, which I thought was natural for babies?

This instinctively feels wrong to me but I’m no expert, so I’d love your advice on if that’s normal and best practice when it comes to settling in sessions. What should happen to help a child feel comfortable?

My baby takes a long time to warm up to new people and would find it distressing to be held by someone else while I am nearby…

You have to tell the nursery staff what you want, or how will they know?
Just say to them, if they cry I will comfort them during this first session.

I’m a childminder and for my first settling in session I just invite parent and child to come play for an hour or so. I don’t take over care of baby and other than talk and pass toys I don’t go over the top interacting unless the child comes to me. They need to learn the setting is safe and do that by experiencing their parent as a secure base in the setting comfortable while they explore

When we did settling in I kind of pretended I wasn't there and let the nursery worker take over completely. But my DC was never clingy, and she didn't really cry or need anything from me during the sessions. I'm sure you can discuss your worries with the staff and they can explain their approach?

Really appreciate you all taking the time to reply. I’ll go and be upfront with what works for us at the start / ask more about their approach too. Thanks for giving me the confidence and a logical way forward when I was a bit clouded with emotion!