Nursery and childminder predicament

4babiesforever · 2026-01-09T19:27:49+00:00

my almost 4 year old is currently in private nursery 4 days a week on the days that I work. this nursery has been amazing for him, it’s small, and has a real family homey feel. He’s has been there since 9 months and has formed bonds with the ladies and other children. Low turn over of staff and just really couldn’t fault any aspect of it. With being due to start school next year I thought it would be good for LO to attend the school nursery to meet kids who will be at the same school and get used to the setting. however the hours are shorter than the private nursery and it is term time only, so we would need a childminder on the days he attends school nursery for before and after, and also during the holidays. I also had the thought of what if childminder gets ill, or having to take holidays when they do etc which is understandable of course. but mainly LO is so settled , happy and secure that I didn’t want to change too much at once? so considering sending him one day a week to school nursery, with childminder, and keeping him in current nursery 3 days a week. just wondering what thoughts are on that potential arrangement? anyone had similar experience? any thoughts and advice welcome Tia x

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mynameiscalypso · 09/01/2026 19:31

I’d just keep him at his current nursery - we were in exactly the same situation with DS the year before he started school and I’m so glad that we just kept everything the same for him (and easy for us!). About half his Reception class were at nursery together but by the end of the first term, you couldn’t tell who had been there for nursery and who was new.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 09/01/2026 19:34

Considering he'll be starting school in nine months and that will be another big change, this sounds a bit much. Children like stability and consistency. I'd keep him at the current one or move him over completely to the new one, but not a mix.

NuffSaidSam · 09/01/2026 19:35

Just carry on as you are. The kids who start fresh in reception catch up on friendships and settling in within a week. It's not worth all the faff now.

What will you do about before and after school and holidays once he starts school though? Will you need a childminder then anyway?

Satisfiedkitty · 09/01/2026 19:35

I'd keep him exactly as he is. My dcs went from private nursery straight to Reception without any problem. No need to change things for one year.

SkyWalrus · 09/01/2026 19:36

Keep things simple and stick with the nursery you know and love. There’s plenty of time for your child to get to know the children he’s at school with when he starts. Going one day a week is not likely to help. It could be quite disruptive.

Original poster

4babiesforever · 09/01/2026 19:37

Oh sorry I should have mentioned that we are in Scotland - so he won’t start school for another year and 7 months!

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Frankie789 · 09/01/2026 19:38

Adding my LO started school this year having been the private nursery, knowing nobody in the class and the youngest and is now thriving and started making friends instantly. What helped I believe, though some may frown at it, I needed B&ASC so they went wraparound a few days and I think that helped to build friendships not just in the same year but throughout school

Original poster

4babiesforever · 09/01/2026 19:41

NuffSaidSam · 09/01/2026 19:35

Just carry on as you are. The kids who start fresh in reception catch up on friendships and settling in within a week. It's not worth all the faff now.

What will you do about before and after school and holidays once he starts school though? Will you need a childminder then anyway?

we would either need a childminder or wrap around care.
the wrap around care is at a different school but not a problem as actually closer to our house!
I think I’ll be stuck with that decision too honestly

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Original poster

4babiesforever · 09/01/2026 19:42

Frankie789 · 09/01/2026 19:38

Adding my LO started school this year having been the private nursery, knowing nobody in the class and the youngest and is now thriving and started making friends instantly. What helped I believe, though some may frown at it, I needed B&ASC so they went wraparound a few days and I think that helped to build friendships not just in the same year but throughout school

Likely we may also use wrap around care.

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purpleme12 · 09/01/2026 19:44

Well I'd keep him in the nursery personally

That's what I chose with my child

Didn't harm her

Thewardrobehashangersin · 09/01/2026 19:44

All 3 of mine went straight from private nursery to school with no issues. I prioritised stability, one setting and the fact childminders may be more unpredictable if theyre ill etc.
Mine all went to a childminder for wrap around care and school holidays (there was no school wrap around care). Until my childminder announced she wa 6 months pregnant (she thought it was menopause) and had a year off plus was very unpredictable during pregnancy as complex pregnancy. None of which was childminders fault however as a single parent I nearly lost my job due to me having to take time off.

Original poster

4babiesforever · 09/01/2026 19:46

Ok this is good to know that staying at private nursery isn’t going to make school a bigger struggle.
DH thinks it’s best to leave private nursery all together and have LO at school nursery and childminder as that’s what he did with his now teen/ adult DC and the friends they made at nursery stayed Throughout primary.
so it that sense it does sound good but I also like the thought of staying where we already know works.
also it is one extra year of not having to have two separate childcare arrangements! (ie childminder and nursery, then childminder/wrap around and school.)
I can see his side too

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Original poster

4babiesforever · 09/01/2026 19:49

Thewardrobehashangersin · 09/01/2026 19:44

All 3 of mine went straight from private nursery to school with no issues. I prioritised stability, one setting and the fact childminders may be more unpredictable if theyre ill etc.
Mine all went to a childminder for wrap around care and school holidays (there was no school wrap around care). Until my childminder announced she wa 6 months pregnant (she thought it was menopause) and had a year off plus was very unpredictable during pregnancy as complex pregnancy. None of which was childminders fault however as a single parent I nearly lost my job due to me having to take time off.

Oh gosh I hadn’t thought of these possibilities!
i suffer with anxiety and to be honest it has been great not having to feel anxious about LO when I am at work as the nursery has been so great.
I’ve also heard so many stories about different childcare settings not working out that I feel anxious about changing something that already feels so perfect

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Raindancer411 · 09/01/2026 19:50

I would keep him there as some of those kids may not go up with him. That is what happened at ours so people were a little disappointed when their kids friend wasn’t there

Original poster

4babiesforever · 09/01/2026 19:51

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 09/01/2026 19:34

Considering he'll be starting school in nine months and that will be another big change, this sounds a bit much. Children like stability and consistency. I'd keep him at the current one or move him over completely to the new one, but not a mix.

Good point.
have considered a 50/50 split - so 2 days each. But that is 3 different childcare arrangements we would need!
that’s when I then thought one day and use the day that I usually finish early!

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Original poster

4babiesforever · 09/01/2026 19:52

Raindancer411 · 09/01/2026 19:50

I would keep him there as some of those kids may not go up with him. That is what happened at ours so people were a little disappointed when their kids friend wasn’t there

Oh I didn’t consider this

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EnthusiasticTurtle · 09/01/2026 19:54

My DS went straight from private nursery to primary school (10 days after his 4th bday late August birthday) without knowing a single child there as nursery was near my work but school was near home.
He had made friends within a week and now in year 3 even the kids that knew each other from nursery aren’t necessarily still in the same friends group.
I would keep your DS at nursery until he starts school.

Clefable · 09/01/2026 19:55

I wouldn’t take him out of a setting where he’s thriving. Both of mine have stayed at private nursery. DD2 is still there, DD1 went up to school with a few of the other private nursery kids, and she’s had no problem making friends. It’s likely some of his nursery cohort will also go up anyway as presumably some will be in the same catchment area.

Jeska7 · 09/01/2026 19:59

My child didn’t go to the school nursery but a nursery some distance away nearer where we worked. There was two trial half days in June prior to school and we were on holiday for one. So very little chance to meet other children. By chance another child went to his same nursery, so he did know someone on the first day (not particular friends with them though). He settled in well at school. It sounds as if the school nursery doesn’t fit your circumstances very well. If it was me, I’d keep LO where they are (or could just attend one day). They’ll be settled and probably confident, so I bet they’ll settle fine when it comes to school. I would enquire what percentage of children attend the school nursery. That might help your decision a bit but I bet they’ll be a few who don’t attend. Friendships are key at start of school so most teachers will make sure children are paired up etc.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 09/01/2026 19:59

4babiesforever · 09/01/2026 19:51

Good point.
have considered a 50/50 split - so 2 days each. But that is 3 different childcare arrangements we would need!
that’s when I then thought one day and use the day that I usually finish early!

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The only real plus to adding the new setting is that he'll meet future classmates, which he'll do anyway in reception (P1? Excuse my ignorance) Friendships are very fluid at that age.

Then there are a lot of downsides - unsettling him, risking childminder illness, him only going one day a week and feeling left out with his new friends...

Lamentingalways · 09/01/2026 20:00

I would leave him. I went full time and arranged for a childminder to have mine one day a week after school. I kid you not she let me down (was ill or her child was ill) 4 times in the first three months and called me while I was in a meeting to ask if one of them could have some calpol - I was due to collect them 45 mins later. If it’s not broke, don’t fix it 😭

Clefable · 09/01/2026 20:03

You could try to enrol him in Squirrels or some other extracurricular where he will meet children the same age in the same area. My DD1 goes to Rainbows and there are a lot of kids from the school nursery and P1/2 there.

Zigazagbox · 09/01/2026 20:10

Definitely don’t move him from a setting where he’s settled and that you’re really happy with.

Have you considered signing him up for a sports class or club or something similar. Or taking him along to something like a local bookbug if there’s one on a Saturday? Gives him a chance to meet more kids he’ll be going to school with and it’s a better opportunity for you to get to know their parents too

Original poster

4babiesforever · 09/01/2026 20:29

Lamentingalways · 09/01/2026 20:00

I would leave him. I went full time and arranged for a childminder to have mine one day a week after school. I kid you not she let me down (was ill or her child was ill) 4 times in the first three months and called me while I was in a meeting to ask if one of them could have some calpol - I was due to collect them 45 mins later. If it’s not broke, don’t fix it 😭

Oh no I’m sorry that happened to you, i definitely don’t want that to happen! Thanks for the heads up!

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Original poster

4babiesforever · 09/01/2026 20:32

@Clefable and @Zigazagbox didn’t think of that but brilliant ideas re a club.
we don’t have squirrels but I just looked up and there is a local patent and child playgroup in my area that runs the day I don’t work so I’ll visit there next week.
then I can keep him where he is and as you say I can meet some of the parents too.

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