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Original poster

School concern

13 replies

Frostylee103 · 07/01/2026 19:40

Today I was asked to stay behind by the school. My DD, who is 3.5, her teacher wanted to speak with me. For context, my DD is thriving, big personality, laughs a lot and has a brilliant relationship with myself and her father. We live all together and are a super happy family. I am a safeguarding lead for adults so I know the principles well.
However, I was absolutely blindsided when the teacher, in the middle of the playground with children and other teachers close by, said that my DD laughed and said “daddy makes me laugh he pulled my knickers down and tickles me” and asked me if I had any concerns with my husband. It made me tear up straight away. Totally get she’s doing her job (although a private room might have been nice to discuss). My husband is distraught to say the very least. He’s purpose in life really is to make her happy and protect her, they have the most amazing relationship and are always joking around, he does tickle her! As do I, We just love to laugh. I guess I am looking for some others who may have been in the similar situation so I don’t feel alone! I know kids say stuff but my goddd, this is a terrible feeling and eating my husband up. He wouldn’t even bath her tonight out of pure worry. Anyone else out there been through this?? She said she had no other concerns but that feeling really does sit with you.,

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/01/2026 19:42

Does he pull her knickers down and tickle her?

Original poster
Frostylee103 · 07/01/2026 19:46

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/01/2026 19:42

Does he pull her knickers down and tickle her?

He helps pull them down so she can go to the toilet, yes. He tickles her, yes. But he can’t recall a specific time he’s done both together.

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ColdBlueSky · 07/01/2026 19:47

How was it left with the teacher ?

Original poster
Frostylee103 · 07/01/2026 19:51

ColdBlueSky · 07/01/2026 19:47

How was it left with the teacher ?

She said she doesn’t have any other concerns, she’s knows my daughter well who always gets great reports, and is a big character in the class so she won’t be doing anything with the info as they are not concerned, they know kids say things out of context but they just have to ask. Absolutely get they have to, and so they should. But can’t shake the feeling of somebody thinking that of us.

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Sprogonthetyne · 07/01/2026 19:52

Could there have been a time recently when he's done a tickle in the middle of getting her changed? Maybe as a distraction to prevent a kick off about bed time/ putting pajamas on.

Lullabycrickets23 · 07/01/2026 19:53

Personally, I would have kept quiet from my husband and asked a few questions to my daughter in a broad manner.
I get that you love and trust your husband completely, BUT, unfortunately I know someone abroad that has experienced very unthinkable things from her father. I am sure your husband is the best father on Earth, but knowing that story from that person, will always make me second guess.

Original poster
Frostylee103 · 07/01/2026 19:55

Sprogonthetyne · 07/01/2026 19:52

Could there have been a time recently when he's done a tickle in the middle of getting her changed? Maybe as a distraction to prevent a kick off about bed time/ putting pajamas on.

This is what I thought, I am confident whilst shes laughing about being tickled by her friend (this is when she said it) that it’s triggered a memory of some sort. It could be whilst she’s getting in the bath or even whilst she’s getting dressed to distract her from a moody episode! Could be anything! X

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Arran2024 · 07/01/2026 20:00

I would stop the tickling tbh. It is only going to cause you problems. It can be tricky for a child - or anyone - to say they don't like it.

Original poster
Frostylee103 · 07/01/2026 20:01

Lullabycrickets23 · 07/01/2026 19:53

Personally, I would have kept quiet from my husband and asked a few questions to my daughter in a broad manner.
I get that you love and trust your husband completely, BUT, unfortunately I know someone abroad that has experienced very unthinkable things from her father. I am sure your husband is the best father on Earth, but knowing that story from that person, will always make me second guess.

Yeah, I totally get why you would say that, I really do and maybe that would be my advice to somebody if I didn’t know them and I guess you really just never know do you. But she’s so outgoing, she’s confident- not at all introverted, she’s never said anything like this before, loves her dad unconditionally (she defo likes him more than me haha!) we do everything together, she’s sleeps in the bed with me…… I am so confident of the situation… it’s just such a big shock!

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RestartingForNY · 07/01/2026 20:02

I would relax - kids say all kinds of slightly crazy things and teachers hear insane stuff all the time. Ever time my 2 year old trips over my foot or runs into me too hard he will tell me "mummy hurt me" and then make me kiss it better. In the other direction, both my kids are obsessed with sticking their hands down my top and playing with my bra because the lace interests them. It's hard to have cut and dry boundaries when your kids are so young that you have to help them with all kinds of personal care and they themselves don't understand those boundaries.

Original poster
Frostylee103 · 07/01/2026 20:07

RestartingForNY · 07/01/2026 20:02

I would relax - kids say all kinds of slightly crazy things and teachers hear insane stuff all the time. Ever time my 2 year old trips over my foot or runs into me too hard he will tell me "mummy hurt me" and then make me kiss it better. In the other direction, both my kids are obsessed with sticking their hands down my top and playing with my bra because the lace interests them. It's hard to have cut and dry boundaries when your kids are so young that you have to help them with all kinds of personal care and they themselves don't understand those boundaries.

Really really respect you for this. It’s exactly that. Thank you. Just really needed somebody sensible to tell me to get a grip. Because I really do get why the school have questioned me.. bloody hard this parenting stuff lol! X

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Dontbeaneejit · 07/01/2026 20:17

I agree. I'm a teacher and this is absolutely the kind of comment we would ask about and then take I'm context. It couldn't be ignored but neither would it be a major red flag especially if there were no other concerns. You sound like you have a lovely family. A daughter needs a good relationship with her Dad. Don't let this spoil that.

Original poster
Frostylee103 · 07/01/2026 20:25

Dontbeaneejit · 07/01/2026 20:17

I agree. I'm a teacher and this is absolutely the kind of comment we would ask about and then take I'm context. It couldn't be ignored but neither would it be a major red flag especially if there were no other concerns. You sound like you have a lovely family. A daughter needs a good relationship with her Dad. Don't let this spoil that.

Thank you so much, that’s made me cry. It’s such a shame that we have to be like this but I totally understand that there are monsters out there. I couldn’t ask for a better dad for her.. Thank you for your comment x

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