What age did your child start nursery ?

[CJ98]

My daughter is currently 17 months old and hasn’t yet started nursery. Over the last few months my MIL has been asking when are we going to our daughter into a nursery and suddenly it got me worried that my daughter should already been there.
Since I returned to work the childcare routine that we have has been working fantastically and I’m worried that putting her in a nursery would mean some of the grandparents would lose out on time with her, especially my MIL who only has my daughter once a week. She really looks forward too it & im worried that putting her into a nursery would mean they’d lose out on their time together. Both myself and my partner have our daughter separately throughout the week & then one of the weekend days we have her together but I’m worried about being late to putting her into a nursery.
do I do it when I’m ready ? Is there an age when she has to be in a nursery.
she’s my first child and I’ve never been told about putting her into a nursery 😬

So much to consider and rarely is done wrongly or rightly. It’s what works for you and your family. Nursery is good for children and teaches them things parents typically don’t plus socialising but this doesn’t mean a parent won’t be doing the same thing with baby groups. Are you looking to have another or go back to work full time?

DD went to nursery at 6/7 months and stayed there until school. It worked for her but I did miss out on a lot of time with her that I won’t get back. I knew this so valued every minute with her.

it will be good to go to a nursery one day a week or two mornings and I would recommend it but it’s what works for you and your family. Particularly when you get the free hours - why not?!

If your MIL is asking when she’s going to start nursery could she be hinting thst she’s finding looking after a toddler for a full day a week a bit much and wants to cut back?

Both of mine went to childminders from age 11 months and then started pre-school nursery at age 3.

What childcare do you use now?
Nursery under the age of 3 isn't really needed unless it's for childcare.
If you have childcare you don't need nursery.

I thought this - when she agreed to look after your daughter one day a week, perhaps she didn't realise it was going to be a long-term commitment. Even if she's happy doing it now, she might be thinking ahead and wondering if you're actually expecting her to do it until DD starts school.

I’ve been back at work since March of last year so coming up a year and we aren’t planning on having a second for another few years.
The issue we have is even if we put our daughter in for a few mornings someone would have to go and pick her up and have her for the rest of the day until me or my partner finished work.
ideally we’d be looking at maybe a full day just to see how she goes but again it would have to work around myself and my partner with our work so it’s just complicated at the moment.

@CJ98 to answer your question my girl started nursery the September of academic term after she turned 3 (she was 3 years 4 months).
She went to the Nursery Class at the local primary school for 3 hours a day (the 15 hours of free education).
"Nursery" is such a confusing name at it covers childcare from baby age but also "pre-school" from age 3 which is usually a more formal setting.

I have to admit that was my initial thought too. Looking after a toddler even just for one day a week can be exhausting. If you've made no indication that she will attend nursery in the future maybe your MIL is now wondering if she will be beholden to looking after her until she starts school.

That’s my biggest worry but then she just wouldn’t see our daughter if she wants us to put her into a nursery. She only sees her one day a week due to her working aswell (Monday is the only day she sees her and she offered that too us before I went back to work). She works on the weekend where me and my partner have it off so does she want to miss out on seeing her completely.
neither me or my partner drive so getting too and from her house means we have to rely on public transport & even when we do go to see her she’s never there due to working. I feel like whatever we choose it’s going to upset her which neither of us want to do. I get she’s a grown adult but I don’t want her missing out on spending time with our daughter especially when they both look forward too it all the time

Hmm but plenty of grandparents don’t do childcare and don’t feel like they’re missing out. It’s not really for you to say “I don’t want MIL missing out” if MIL is feeling like maybe she wants to stop.

My MIL has her on a Monday.
two days out of the week myself and my partner will have her on our days off (separate days)
we then have her together on the one weekend day we have off
my mum has her for the remainder of the week - changes weekly from having our daughter 3-4 days a week depending on our work schedule… HOWEVER one of the days is just three hours as it’s a crossover from me starting work and my partner getting home.
since I went back to work in March it’s been working really well and I don’t want to disturb or change anything that’s working if that makes sense

Yes I was going to say this too. If she is asking then I wouldn't be worried that she will feel she is losing out on time with her. She may be finding it too much- it does become more full on for grandparents when they go from baby to toddler.

My oldest started nursery at 3 and took months to settle and I wish I started earlier but covid meant that it was difficult to get her started before as nurseries shut and my husband was furloughed so childcare was covered.

My youngest started at 7 months 2 full days a week as our circumstances changed and we had no family support but she settled after a month or so and adores it there now at the age of 3.

All children are different so start when it suits you but I wish my oldest started earlier than 3 as the separation was so difficult for her.

Blooming heck that's quite a disruptive schedule. I actually think nursery would be very sensible in this situation so your daughter had some stability. Poor lamb must be unsure of whether she's coming or going.

I think if MIL is working as well it's a lot for her.I think too shes finding it a bit too much ATM. I would look into it a day a week .Lots of DGP only see their DGC on odd occasions .certainly not every week .

This was my first thought.

It’s not for you to decide/dictate how much time your MIL must spend with your daughter (conveniently providing you with free childcare) if she is struggling.

Read between the lines OP.

None of my children have had the grandparents be used as their regular childcare but that doesn’t equate to “missing out on time with them” as you put it.

my kids started daycare when i went back to work - around 12 months. But we have no family here so there wasn’t really another option

if she’s asking I think she wants you to consider it. That’s an awful lot of reliance on your own mother as well. I think it’s time to readjust the schedule as toddlers are far more exhausting than babies.

My mum doesn’t do childcare for my daughter while I’m at work but she often picks her up early from nursery one day a week so thst they can go the park or do something fun together. I know it might seem pointless (or be totally unaffordable!) to pay for childcare and not use all of it but I knew I needed rock solid arrangements so chose full-time nursery rather than a day a week either my mum but that doesn’t stop her spending time with my daughter if she wants to

all of mine started preschool at 3 years. All are thriving. I would define you just ask your mil though outright If she’s happy to continue

First post nails it.

7.45 am - 5.45 pm
3 days a week
From the week before DS’s first birthday; for DD, when she was 15 months.

My DD started at 11 months last Jan, she does 3 full days.

i agree with others my initial thought was maybe too much for her, especially if she's working.

If you’ve already got childcare covered,
I’d wait until she can start preschool aged 2 onwards.

Yes this. Assuming DD has recently become mobile and gone down to 1 nap I imagine MIL might be finding it a lot harder than she used to. Mine both started around 1 because I work. I don’t personally think it’s necessary for socialising, the structure or anything like that before about age 2-3, assuming you (or the GPs) get out to plenty of groups, so if the current arrangement is working for all I would stick with it until preschool but I’d try to have an honest chat with MIL in case she wants out but doesn’t want to let you down.

3 years both of them. Been lucky enough to work part time. My eldest is 7, time goes so quickly especially when they start school.

Sounds like it’s working fine

just check with MIL she is happy to continue - maybe she took it on because she thought she would be in nursery soon