worried about dd in nursery

[blackmonday]

i've been back to work now 3 days a week for the last 3 weeks. I have to work for financial reasons and tbh i do enjoy my job. I visited lots of nurseries and have started dd in the one that looked the best. We had settling in periods and she seemed very happy. I leave for work early and dh takes her to nursery before dropping dd1 off at school. For the first two weeks all was going well. she was going in quite happily and waving goodbye to dh. My only concern was one day i went to pick her up and saw one of the ladies speaking quite harshly to a boy (she hadn't seen me standing there). Anyway over this last week things have changed dramatically. She screams when dh tries to take her in and insists she doesn't like nursery any more. She said the lady with the green bobble in her hair is mean to her. lo and behold the lady with the green bobble is the one i saw speaking not very nicely to a little boy. i've just taken her in now and she was screaming and begging me to stay with her. What should i do?? like i said this was definately the best nursery i found in the area so would not take her to any of the others but i don't want her to go somewhere she's being badly treated. I will point out that she does have a vivid imagination and often says mummy and daddy have been mean to her (when we haven't !)

you have seen behaviour you aren't comfortable with so you must raise it.

why is it the "best" nursery?

when you say harshly - was she shouting?

how old is your DD?

have you spoken to any of the staff about it? they should be reassuring you that everything is ok.
does she settle when you have left?
how old is your dd?

it's only really 'best' because i'd heard bad things about the others and wasn't happy with what i saw when i visited (no structured activities, very, very young staff not really engaging the children). This one gave me a good feeling when visiting and a few mums i know have used it and said it was really good.

The staff have said she's fine when we've gone and it's 'normal' behaviour, ie first couple of weeks happy and then they realise they're being left and will get upset. She does say good things when she's come home and sings songs they've learnt. She's 2.8. I don't know how to raise the issue about this lady and i'm not really sure what i saw tbh so wouldn't know how to raise it.

A better idea to how your dd is feeling is to see how she is when she's picked up at the end of nursery. Is she happy? Or still crying?
How old is she?

you raise the issue with the manager

you say "i saw a staff member doing x,y,z and i wasn't very happy about it. Can you tell me what you are going to do about it please. I don't want staff to talk to the nursery children in this way"

when she's picked up she's sometimes happy but sometimes cries and runs up to us when she sees us. She is usually very tired by this point so that might not be a great indication. I was really happy with everything up until this week and because of what she said it's made me think about what i'd seen with that lady when i'd really dismissed it before. Maybe if i speak to the manager and say that my daughter has said that lady is mean to her and see what she suggests.

raise it with the manager

FWIW, i have had a couple of issues with my nursery recently and they have handled things really well

speak to the manager about it, they will be cross at the situation and speak to the woman who was involved just ask her not to say it was you. i would raise it as i would not be happy idf my dc s seen this xx

my dd is 2.8 and been going to nursery 2 days a week 9 till 1, then changed it to 9 till 3 about a months ago. she only stopped crying 3 weeks ago and nearly always has tears when mum or i pick her up.

but she settles after i have gone. mursery have taken pictures of her happy and playing, just so i know she isnt screaming the place down all day.
if your dd seems happy while she is there, and you dont really know what you saw with the lady, then i am not sure i would say anything about it.

do the staff have children who go to the same nursery? could it have been her own child?
at ours about 4 of the staff have toddlers who go to the nursery.

It isn't an original reply but I think you have to go with your instinct. If you feel something isn't right then you should raise it with the manager immediately.

I don't know how children of your age tend to react (my ds is only 9mo) but even good nurseries might get the odd duff staff member. You should say something.