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WWYD - dd screams every morning going to nursery?

8 replies

llynnnn · 06/06/2008 09:06

DD, 22 months, screams every morning when i drop her off at nursery. she is there 2 days each week. As soon as we pull into the nursery driveway she starts crying saying 'dont like it, dont like it'

the nursery staff say she settles within 5mins and always has a lovely day playing and always eats all her food etc

she has been at this nursery since she was tiny, however in march we did HAVE to move her to a different nursery, due to my work days having to change and they couldnt accomodate her there, but she never settled at all at the different nursery so we moved her back as soon as they had free days, which was 4 weeks ago now

is there anything i can do to help her settle in the mornings? the nursery staff just have to prise her off me and i leave her screaming the place down. which breaks my heart!

hope this all makes sense! any comments appreciated!

OP posts:
bran · 06/06/2008 09:12

How long has she been doing that? My DS started at nursery when he was about 20 months and he went through an upsetting phase of screaming from when the car turned into the car park. It only lasted a few weeks though, and I used to sometimes stay in the next room where he couldn't see me and I could hear that he settled down and started playing very quickly.

After a few months he used to try to hide when I came to pick him up as he didn't want to leave.

wearymum200 · 06/06/2008 09:20

I think treat it as a phase which will pass. As she is obviously genuinely happy there, there is not much wrong. My boy went through a similar phase at about 21 months, in a nursery where he was very happy and had been for ages. He yelled on my departure for about 2 mins. A month later, he stopped and now tries to drag me out of the door to go to nursery, even on days when he's not meant to go. try not to worry.

llynnnn · 06/06/2008 10:37

thanks for your replies. I hope like your dc that it will soon stop. she has become quite clingy to me at home too, wont even go to dh some of the time.

did you just perserve then? am i doing the right thing just walking out while she's screaming? i try to get her excited about going and prepare her, saying that she will get to paint, go on slide etc?

OP posts:
evenhope · 06/06/2008 10:51

What is she like when you pick her up?

cmotdibbler · 06/06/2008 10:55

Its probably just the disruption, and I do think that at this point they learn to anticipate things and make a fuss.

Ds occasionally decides that he wants to be at nursery with me and has a quick cry - however as toddlers looks out over the car park I see that he's stopped crying before I get to the car and is talking about the cars to whoever is holding him up. He is always reticent to come home though, especially now that they go outside again at 5. I'm no competition for the sandpit..

llynnnn · 06/06/2008 10:55

really pleased to see me, she comes running over and cuddles me as soon as i walk through the door! i thought this was a good thing, but do u think she is soooo pleased to be finally going home!?

i've spied through the door when i go to pick her up and she is always playing happily and running around etc

OP posts:
Mummywannabe · 06/06/2008 11:14

Just a thought you said she didn't settle at the other nursery, did you stay longer with her, take her home or anything like that?

If she is happy playing when you arrive try not to worry. I have seen so many children do this over the years, and they generally stop crying as soon as mum is out of sight!

Personally i think leaving even if she is crying is the right thing to do. Its a bit like taking off a plaster, the child knows your going and by prolonging it you can add to the anticipation and child just gets more and more upset. HOWEVER you know your child best and if you think staying would help you should, just be wary if you say goodbye but then don't leave or come back cause she is crying. This sets a routine in the childs mind that when i cry mummy stays or comes back, so next time cries for a bit longer etc. Tend to say to our parents when you say goodbye you need to mean it and leave, even if you just wait outside to see how they settle.

wearymum200 · 06/06/2008 11:22

I did just perservere. Staff very understanding and immediately led son into activity (generally breakfast) when we arrived. I never stayed, otherwise could have stayed for ever.
Good luck

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