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I am thinking of taking my son out of nursery.

9 replies

RedDummyMummy · 28/10/2025 19:26

My 4 year old has swapped to his new nursery 3 months ago and I don’t think we’ve had a single week illness free. His last nursery, he caught 1 cold a month. This one is brutal. We’ve had Covid 2 times, sickness and diarrhoea, colds, bacterial conjunctivitis and now tonsillitis and strep.
I’m at my wits end with it, I have a 13 month old who is catching all of this too, she caught the sickness bug when she was 10 months old and her bowel movements still aren’t back to normal, she’s been given a laxative to take daily but it isn’t helping much.
He also has a tantrum every morning when I’m getting him ready, and when he’s dropped off he gets very clingy and some days even cries that he wants to go home again. Since starting, he’s been wetting himself again, he has stopped sleeping through the night so I’ve not slept properly in these 3 months either, and his already bad eating habits have gotten worse. We’re trying so hard to get him to eat better but we’re not getting anywhere, yet in his nursery they give him ice cream and cakes regardless if he eats his food or not. So I guess he’s getting confused because in there he gets rewarded for not eating and he gets angry that we don’t do the same here.
I’ve spoken to them about my concerns but it falls on deaf ears.
He gets hit in the head a lot by another child, there was one occasion where I was called to collect him because he had fell over a wire in the nursery garden and they said he possibly needed hospital treatment where the cut in his head was so deep.
Me and my partner are both thinking it’s best to withdrawal him from nursery and just fill his days up with stuff at home instead, but I feel like I have pressure on me by his HV to send him so he can socialise.
I don’t work so we aren’t sending him in with no other choice. But when I tell my son about leaving nursery, one minute he will say yes and that he doesn’t like nursery and then in the next breath he will say he likes nursery and it’s making me feel guilty and torn of what to do for the best.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Sillysoggyspaniel · 28/10/2025 19:28

Pull him out. He's not happy, he's not safe, and it's not working. Go to stay and play sessions and then start school at reception.

CopperWhite · 28/10/2025 19:30

Can you find a better nursery? Why did he swap to this one? It doesn’t sound great.

RedDummyMummy · 28/10/2025 19:38

CopperWhite · 28/10/2025 19:30

Can you find a better nursery? Why did he swap to this one? It doesn’t sound great.

the other nursery was a temporary placement and they couldn’t keep him on permanently

OP posts:
ShesTheAlbatross · 28/10/2025 19:43

Is your HV involved for a reason, like are there any concerns? I only ask because my HVs never had any idea whether DDs went to nursery at 4 because we never spoke to them after the 2 yr check. If no specific concerns that she thinks nursery will help with somehow, I’d safely ignore any opinion from her on the issue.

RedDummyMummy · 28/10/2025 19:49

ShesTheAlbatross · 28/10/2025 19:43

Is your HV involved for a reason, like are there any concerns? I only ask because my HVs never had any idea whether DDs went to nursery at 4 because we never spoke to them after the 2 yr check. If no specific concerns that she thinks nursery will help with somehow, I’d safely ignore any opinion from her on the issue.

She asks about him when she comes to do her visits on my daughter. He had a speech delay but he seems to have caught up now

OP posts:
ShenandoahRiver · 28/10/2025 19:54

It sounds absolutely dreadful. He is unhappy and unsafe.

Bitzee · 28/10/2025 19:59

Pull him out. But I wouldn’t want him to have no nursery before school so would look for an alternative- school nursery maybe? It all sounds horrific, except for the desert bit which is totally normal, they can’t have him sitting there with nothing whilst the other kids have pudding and your idea of it being a reward for eating the main is quite old fashioned and I don’t think generally recommended by nutritionists these days. But that’s a minor point, definitely get him out of there.

Woodfiresareamazing · 20/01/2026 23:36

Sillysoggyspaniel · 28/10/2025 19:28

Pull him out. He's not happy, he's not safe, and it's not working. Go to stay and play sessions and then start school at reception.

First post nails it.

It won't be long before he's at school - enjoy these last months with him.

redlorryyellowbus · 20/01/2026 23:45

Find a new nursery- does the school you want him to start at have one?

I would still send him a couple of times a week but only to a new nursery.

If the one he’s at is the only one available I’d pull him out before he gets even more hurt.

Don’t ask for his opinion about staying or stopping because he is too young for a decision like that.
You as an adult need to decide.

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