Nursery being picky

[Mommy2onexxx]

am I crazy to think the nursery my daughter attends are making a report against me ? For context my daughter is two and a half and has been attending this nursery for two years . Recently she had a nappy rash due to a poorly tummy she has extremely sensitive skin and the rash was quite bad , the nursery came out and I explained I will provide cream and explained the situation they didn’t seem to believe me . Then today in the morning my daughter has extremely dry skin on her chin during winter they came out and asked me what I’ve done about this I explained her Nan who is a nurse has seen her , I have brought creams and balms , the nursery manger tried to suggest if I left it untreated it would turn into impetigo … I explained I am treating it but I have been advised to try one in morning and evening with a balm and salvon stick . Then today when my partner picked her up they was questioning her about her dummy asking if she has it for evening sleep which I feel is none of her buisness ?? They have also taken her hair out of her pig tails for some reason. It feels strange there asking all this now or am I being paranoid

I’d really appreciate if someone could reply

Nothing has really actually happened. They have asked you about the rash and you have decided that they don’t believe you.

Then they asked you about the chin and you told them your nan has recommended some cream and they have told you that it might be Impetigo and that it needs to be treated which in fairness it could be said that it hasn’t been treated as they probably mean someone like a pharmacist should take a look.

For situations where the people looking after children feel like a child isn’t being looked after adequately, they will be recording all of that on their system. EG CPOMS or My Concern.

It will be written very factually and will include the conversations that take place about any concerns between you and the setting.

I don’t think they’re making a report. Do you mean to social services?

I think they’re asking valid questions. At her age they maybe worried about her speech with the dummy? They are required to support with this and can refer to speech and language. Does she have the dummy at nursery?

not sure about pig tails - could they have come loose and messy and they thought easier to take the bands out?

the rashes I think they are just doing their jobs. If they don’t ask and something happens then they may be seen as negligent.

is there any other context that made you feel like they have concerns?

Your post isn’t the easiest to follow but I think that potentially they’re annoyed that you aren’t proactively flagging this stuff to them and that they have to notice that DD has a bad nappy rash or skin issue then ask you what it is and how you’re treating it. It would be better, for everyone but especially DD, if you asked for a word when you drop off and said ‘she’s got a bad nappy rash, can you please change her more frequently and there’s a labelled cream in her bag to apply at every change’. Same thing for the dry skin on her chin. If you did that then they likely wouldn’t be questioning you.

Her pigtails probably fell out and you’d have to ask them why they asked about the dummy, maybe she asked for it when upset or tried to take one from a younger child. I wouldn’t read into either.

Hello she has been taken to the doctors and pharmacy I said I can provide evidence but they said no ? It just seems out the blu that they are questioning me after all these years . When I dropped her off this morning I explained I lost my glasses and joked and said I hope she looks okay , and the manger did say she always looks lovely . But then proceeds to question me what do you think the odds are they are reporting I’m worried sick over here

My little one only started nursery recently, it never occurred to me to be offended when they informed me that he has nappy rash or that they’ve noticed dots on his skin, I just say ‘thanks for letting me know’ and keep an eye on it.

The way they approach me just seemed extremely unprofessional as there doing this at the main entrance there is no confidentiality? Regarding me bringing this up to them first I do , I adress her skin and have offered many times to provide evidence of the action I’ve taken , they say no need but then continue to question me

I am a nursery manager and all you say is nothing out of the ordinary..I would ask a parent to take a child to the Dr and refuse them if I felt that it could be something contagious. Regarding the dummy they are just probably trying to find out how she sleeps best. Nurseries encourage an open line of communication with parents so they can work with you to provide the best care possible.

Wouldn't come to anything anyway a couple of rashes and a suspicion of a dummy is meaningless some kids ALWAYS have a rash somewhere they can be royalty and still come out in a rash no-one calls social services on them

It’s the way they are going about this , when I am trying to explain they are talking over me , they are discussing her gentials at the door Infront other parents maybe I should have gone into more detail on my post

Sounds like normal handover conversations

Perhaps if it happens again you could ask to speak in private?

when mine were at nursery I’d sometimes message ahead of anything that was lengthy (didn’t want to hold them up) or sensitive that I didn’t want LO to hear. You could do that for when you need to let them know things….then at the door say, I popped you an email, give me a call if you need to discuss.

I know not all nurseries will have a message system but may have email?

I think it’s the approach that is bothering me ? When I’m trying to explain the manger is talking over me , I am a young mom only 20 and I don’t know if she sees me as I don’t know what I’m doing ? What bothers me also is that there doing this at the door in front of everyone I’ve asked if they would like me to pop in they say no and carry on discussing this ?

I have asked if they would like me to pop in and they say no it’s fine and continue to discuss? I’m considering calling the manger and discussing my concerns tomorrow but at the same time I’m worried that this is going to make an issue out of nothing hence why I’m on here

Then say that when they ask you. Don’t say that your nan has told you XYZ. Say that you have taken her to the doctor and the pharmacy and are doing what they have recommended.

If she is talking over you just put your eyebows up, wait until she is finished, count to two and then say ‘as I was saying’ and continue on with what you were saying.

I don’t think my post was the clearest… I have offered to provide proof of appointments for this as she’s been seen they say no and then continue to question me it’s infuriating

They’re probably in a rush. But considering this is new (assuming you’ve had a couple of years without this feeling?) then it might be worth a call to check. You could just say that you’re following up on some recent chats, you realise it’s hard to talk at the door and wanted to see how she’s getting on ?

is there a parents evening soon?

could there be any other reasons for the change? Have they had an inspection recently (or due one!), or has there been different staff? It might be they’ve upped their training and have to cover more areas.

to be honest though it does all sound fairly standard and shows they are checking and take safeguarding seriously.

Honestly, I think you are worried about nothing. Settings can tell when a child is looked after and when they are not. It’s really apparent. It’s not something that is easy to hide. Really, it’s a good thing that they are on the ball. I wouldn’t want my child in a place where they didn’t care.

It could be that the manager thinks you are young and don’t know what you are doing, that’s prejudice and the best way of dealing with that is to demonstrate that you do know what you are doing.

No, doesn't sound like nursery are making a report on you, they are just concerned that your child is uncomfortable and wanna help find a solution. Also in my nursery, children aren't allowed regular hairbands, scrunchies only for health and safety reasons

I think most nurseries would make you aware of soreness and ask if you have treatment for that it. Ask for a meeting if the way you are being spoken to is upsetting you though, with a member of staff you feel most comfortable with.

Hairbands are a nightmare to keep in at nursery. Aprons,jumpers and coats come on and off all day and other children are curious and touch. Plus if they nap at nursery they can fall out. I very much doubt anyone is taking them out to make a point.