School vs private nursery (if hours aren't a consideration)

[Reitin]

I am wondering if people preferred school or private nurseries for their children and why. We have one SAHP so the term-time hours/school holidays thing is not a consideration. We just want to send DS to benefit him developmentally. He turns 3 in November so we are eligible for 15 hours in January.

As far as waiting lists, we are on several and we are likely to be able to choose. I've visited some school nurseries and will visit the private option but I just want to hear from other parents too.

TBH I instinctively preferred the idea of school nurseries but I was perhaps being a bit snobby. I've just assumed that school nurseries with qualified teachers would be the better option. On reflection, I can't quite explain why.

DS is in the process of waiting for an autism assessment and I'm starting to wonder if the smaller ratios in a private nursery may benefit him. He speaks and communicates well but struggles with sensory issues, transitions between activities and some social skills.

Thank you for any insights you can give!

How old is your child? I thought school nurseries were for 3+ yrs. If your child is that age I’d go school nursery especially if you plan to send them to the same school at reception age.

He will be 3 in November so he will be starting January 2026.

He won't start reception until September 2027, so he will have a year and a half of being at nursery.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Yes one of the school nurseries we are on the waiting list for is the same as the school we'd like to send him.

I’m also debating this at the moment, however my almost 3 year old is already in private nursery so it’s whether to move him or not.

From conversations I’ve had, the pros to school nursery are;
-lots of the same kids move up from school nursery to the reception so won’t be ‘the new kid’
-more independence than in private nursery
-meeting other school parents (also not being the ‘new mum’ at the gates in reception)

The main con is around the hours/holidays.

DS1 stayed at his private day nursery he'd attended since 9 months, they were fantastic and we were moving area so didn't know which school he would go to and didn't want to have to move him twice within 18 months.. He went straight into reception at our 1st choice school in the new area.

Ds2 went to school nursery because it made more sense, DS1 was already in the school and so saved me doing 2 drop offs (one for day nursery one for school) which I'd already done for 2.5 years, also gave us an extra 30 mins at home on a morning cutting out the nursery run.

basically - check them all out, do what works for you.

Honestly did you even read the OP?

We went for a private nursery (most of the primaries we looked at didn't have attached nurseries, though there are some stand-alone pre-schools near us). We chose it because it was smaller and quieter - both key for DD at the time. It also served a cooked lunch, which we (vainly) hoped would help DD with her picky eating (it didn't).

Also, the pre-school could only offer mornings for the 12 months before school (starting from September), but DD also started in January. She still napped in the afternoons....

The nursery we chose had a well-qualified pre-school lead who was excellent. That will vary significantly I suspect.

I don’t think it makes much difference but the advantage of school nursery is if you can get him in to the school you want him to go for reception he will get used to going there and feel more confident when going up to full time school.

DS is 3 & recently moved from private nursery to school nursery. I find he is more tired after school nursery despite it being a shorter day. They seem to have a good mix of free play and more structured activities. He is enjoying riding his balance bike to school whereas we had to drive to the nursery. He has brought home a drawing or craft most days - at the private nursery it was once a week or less and often they weren't sure which was whose as they hadn't put names on them.
Downside is its packed lunch only at his school nursery - likely to vary from school to school - but they've been happy for him to take a hot lunch in a small food flask so not a big issue.
I moved him partly for cost reasons - I'll be on maternity leave soon & couldn't justify the fees while not working but didn't want to pull him out completely. Also for the shorter journey & to make friends as he is likely to go to that school. His private nursery was having lots of restructuring due to taking in far more younger children too, & I wasn't 100% happy with some of the communication & finance mess ups!

I don't think you can generalise (apart from the ratios and the term time issue).

You have to go in and 'get a feel' for the individual Nurseries that you can access.
In our LA they also have 'stand alone Nursery schools' - which are run by the LA and have qualified teachers. These are a third option which give you the benefits of the whole place being set up for U5s (like a PVI) but also having teachers in charge.

Apologies if you know this, but a private nursery may well have a minimum number of hours they want you to do, eg full afternoons even if the funded session finishes at 4pm, attending in the school holidays etc whereas a school nursery will be more likely to have school hours

I used to work in a school nursery and I would choose it every time where fees and hours didn't need considering (assuming I also liked it when I looked round)

1. If a member of nursery staff is off sick, a TA will come in from elsewhere in the school - someone who is likely familiar to the children and knows the setting well rather than an agency staff member
2. They will start teaching basic phonics in the year before school starts using the same phonics scheme as Reception
3. They likely have access to more space and facilities (eg we used the school lunch hall and they had the same food as older children, used the school hall for PE lessons with the qualified PE teacher for the children in the preschool year (and younger ones if keen and relatively sensible). Also had more green space on the school site so could have a little garden, go for woodland walks etc.
4. If going to the same school for Reception they will already have friends

Parents at that nursery did have to pay for the lunch hour though so it's worth checking the policy on that (eg the morning session was 8:30 to 11:30, afternoon session from 12:30 to 3:30. If staying all day, that equated to 35 hours per week not 30)

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. A lot of these posts have brought up things I hadn’t even considered eg the school nurseries nearby both do morning sessions for 3 hours a day to make up the 15 hours and I hadn’t considered that a private nursery could have different minimum hours so I will be sure to ask about that when we look around. Thank you!

Whereas I am not question your experience in your school, these things really aren't true across all schools.

1. Schools don't have the TAs to be able to do this any more. Many schools never would have anyway.
2. They really, really don't methodically teach phonics as 'a thing' across school Nurseries. Most school Nurseries understand the value of play and follow the EYFS. This was a 'your school' thing, not a 'school nursery' thing.
3. One of my jobs involved visiting many, many nurseries across the LA. Overwhelmingly the PVIs had much better outdoor space than school Nurseries. There were exceptions, but, as a generalisation the PVIs were FAR better for outdoor space. Some of the PVIs I went in to also bought in specialist visiting companies for things like football, yoga, dance etc. I personally never came across a school that used a specialist PE teacher for Nursery children (though am not doubting it happened where you were, it isn't something that translates across 'school nurseries' as a whole).
4. Children aged 3, 4, and 5, tend to play with whoever they are in a group / class with. I personally wouldn't choose a Nursery for that reason.

A school nursery won't take him until September 2026. So if you want him to start in January 2026 it will have to be a private nursery.
DD went to a private nursery because she started when she was 2 and we didn't want to switch once she was there.
Ds1 went to a school nursery he has a ASD diagnosis and a learning disability. I picked the school nursery because that was the school I hoped he would go to school there. But they said they could not meet his need and he moved on to a special needs school.
Ds2 is going to a school nursery the same one Ds1 went to. He also has a ASD diagnosis and hyper mobility. I picked this nursery because again I hope ds2 can go to school there and also because they will be honest if they can or can't meet his needs.
Ds3 will go school nursery when the time comes.

My ds has been at a school and a private nursery (3 days private, 2 days school) since he was 18 months. More and more schools are expanding provision; you don't have to be 3.
I vastly prefer the private nursery. So I would say-it depends on the nursery itself, not school Vs private.

A school nursery won't take him until September 2026. So if you want him to start in January 2026 it will have to be a private nursery.

Lots of school Nurseries do now have a 'pre - pre-school' group.

This is against the funding rules and should be challenged.

We did both and school nursery was hugely better. More knowledgable staff and well structured. Private nursery mostly involved him digging in the garden which has a place but wasn’t a good prep for school. Private nursery was also double the cost and the parents were middle class and white mainly. School nursery much more mixed (I mean this in a good way). We may just have been unlucky with the private nursery though.

PS private nursery did have good heathy food and more outdoor time.

100% school

Also at the school nursery he met lots of children who are now in his class at school. Not the be all and end all but has eased the transition to school.

You can't assume a school-based nursery class will be led by a qualified teacher. It may be, but may not be.

A school nursery that only takes 3+ may be run on an absolute shoestring as they have no way to top up the gravely inadequate government funding if they have no income stream from wraparound hours.

On the other hand with a neurodiverse child it could be hugely beneficial to have the consistency of setting over the years if you are 100% sure that the school that the nursery is attached to will definitely be where your DC starts reception. NB it is illegal for a school to have admissions criteria that favour out-of-catchment children who attended the attached nursery over children who didn't attend the nursery but live closer.

I would say it really depends on the private nursery. My two have just left one which was amazing (but also very expensive and they had to attend 4 full days). Most of them went off to private school nurseries aged 3+ though it emptied about for DS1 a bit who was there until leaving for reception. They did also teach phonics and early writing. They had lovely food, lovely stable staffing and lots of outings (trips!) and specialist staff in for PE, music etc. before this nursery my older DS was one which was much cheaper but just so much worse in terms of constant staff changes etc.

Now DS1 is at state school reception and DS2 is at the attached nursery aged 2 - so lots of primaries do have provision for 2 and 3 year olds not just a pre school for 1 year pre reception. The staff are also lovely and there's lots of outside space. They don't have posh lessons with external teachers but they take them out to do gardening and do cooking etc - I think it's stimulating. They come home with homework (ridiculous for a 2 year old) but when I was shown round by the head to view the school I could see how much the children in the nursery were doing which was academic vs what they did at the private nursery. It's a very high achieving state primary and this approach suits my kids, it wouldn't be for everyone and I know some people would feel horrified about 3 year olds being taught basic maths.

If you don't work, there are some wonderful places near me I just would never have been able to send my kids to because of the hours they use. -e.g. there's a Montessori nursery everyone seems to love.

I would say horses for courses and the individual feel and strengths of the nursery most important., and how it fits your child. The private nursery was very very calm and quiet which I think would have been a better environment for an autistic child.

Well, maybe. And maybe OP has better things to do with his time than challenge nurseries he may or may not use.

In any event, if the private nursery is already full with children who have been attending full days/weeks since they were babies, there won’t be space for a school
hours, term time only 3 year old,

A school nursery is obviously more school like. There are usually less staff but a qualified teacher. They often have higher expectations in things like:

• all children sitting for circle time as a group (some private nurseries do this, but others split into smaller groups with a key worker)
• toilet training - school nurseries generally expect this to be done before attending

If your child has potential SEN needs, I would consider:

• structure of the day - how often are they expected to sit and listen
• ratios
• outdoor space
• who the SENCO is and their experience with SEN. As a generalisation, school nurseries more often know how to apply for funding/EHCPs if needed. Some private nurseries are brilliant at this too, some not as much, so worth asking if a consideration. This may not be relevant for your child based on their specific needs.