Nursery daily activities - am I expecting too much?

[MimiArtini]

Just wanted to get a sense check from others about nursery routines and what your little ones do day to day.

My DD is 18 months and at nursery three days a week. She’s in the baby room and one of the oldest there now.. due to move up just before 2.

I just can’t shake the feeling that they don’t really do much with them, and wonder if she’s actually happy or just puts up with it as she’s easy going. For context she’s happy enough to go (not ecstatic but fine, although it used to be tears for awhile but at the time she was only doing 2days) and comes out happy enough too. They’re pretty terrible at updating photos on their app but will talk to you at the end of the day about the day they’ve had and update you on food eaten, naptime and nappy changes. I can kind of accept lack of app photo updates as I’d rather they were engaged with kids than worried about ipads.. but I don’t truly know if they are and feel like I don’t have enough insight to shake my concerns.

Whenever I ask about her day activities I get vague answers like “she enjoyed singing and circle time” but not much more in terms of structure. I know they go in the garden sometimes and have done the occasional sand or water play, but it sounds like they’re mostly in the same room all day with not a lot going on just free play.

I totally understand that at this age it’s about free play, but I was expecting a bit more engagement or at least better insight into the day.

The other thing is, they always say she’s such an easy baby because she eats well, naps well, doesn’t cry etc.. they have said “we wish they were all like her” which is lovely and I know I’m lucky in that respect, but I cant help feel like because she’s “easy” she likely doesn’t get much attention and is left to her own devices (great for them, not so much for DD). Eg they also say she’s very quiet at nursery, weren’t aware she talks but at home she’s so chatty and full of personality. I know kids can be different in different settings and admittedly she is quiet around others sometimes (like our friends popping over for example, until she’s comfortable within the hour) but part of me wonders if she’s just not being properly engaged with there to come out of her shell.

I guess my questions are:

What’s a typical day like in your child’s nursery (especially at this age)?

How much do you actually know about what they do day to day?

Am I expecting too much for them to be doing more structured or varied things in the baby room?

Just trying to figure out if this is normal or if I should be looking for somewhere else.. And if I’m expecting too much and should just be happy she’s content enough.

The key staff seem genuinely caring so it’s hard to be negative, but I know they’re busy with the more demanding kids too and they are a bit vague when asked questions so I can’t shake the feeling I should be feeling more positive sending DD there?

hi op,
sounds all pretty normal to me. ( my ds was at nursery a long time ago though )
what sort of activities would you like your dd to be doing?
what would be your ideal update?

I feel like this is fairly normal for her age but if it continues when she moves up a room I would be more concerned. Baby room to toddler room should be pretty different activity wise .

A good question - I’m not expecting anything advanced at this age I’ll admit to myself, but I guess some sensory/messy play or crafty activities maybe? I can appreciate they are young. Other mum friends nurseries seem to do more like “we had a garden picnic today” with photos - or they’ll do painting etc.

I think when playing at home she learns a lot because we engage with her. My worry is that she’s not being engaged with much there. Is it unrealistic to expect that though or would some settings do that more? Honestly as I type I’m realising the issue is my lack of insight into their day.. but I wonder if it’s just an exercise in trust knowing she comes out happy enough?

I suppose I would ask (or check website) for some idea of their daily routine, and the same for toddler room. If it's broadly fine, then the enrichment etc can happen at home.

It's very difficult to know tbh because even if they list off a load of activities that they've done there's no way of knowing if they've actually done those activities.

What does the Ofsted report say?

It will always be the case that quiet, well-behaved children get overlooked in any group care scenario. It'll be the same at school. These children will benefit most from one on one or small group care. If you can afford a nanny or nanny share that's a good option or maybe look around for a childminder.

Ask them what the daily routine is and get them to run you through it. This will most likely be the same each day as routine is what kids need as it helps them feel safe when they know what’s coming next. She’s still very young so focus will be on communication and language, personal social and emotional development and motor skills. All the basic stuff. If you don’t like it there then move her or get a child minder.

I had to move my youngest from a very communicative lovely nursery to one which was just ‘ok’ when I moved house. I’m still a bit gutted about it.

At the first nursery, at this age, there was a weekly trip to the local library, a weekly trip to the local market to buy fruit and vegetables, and sensory play every day (water trays with slices of different citrus, ice cubes, bubbles, homemade play dough, ‘sand’ play which was big containers of crushed up cereal) garden time, painting) they also had daily circle time and story time.

He’s older now he’s at the new nursery so in toddler room, but their baby room is very ‘babyish’ and they don’t really leave the room or organise much beyond free play. Even now in toddlers they do less stuff with the children than the baby room did at the old nursery!

Obviously there’s a huge variety of how ambitious nurseries are with what activities they do, but if the staff are genuinely warm and kind, your little one isn’t upset, and she’s only doing three days, it’s almost certainly fine. My biggest concern would be that she doesn’t talk there to be honest, especially if she’s completely different at home and has been there a while.

Agree with another poster who said concentrate on enrichment on the days she’s not at nursery!

There is usually something sensory - ie water play, shaving foam, sand etc. Garden time, painting, role play for older babies, small world for older babies. Younger babies have textures and mystery boxes. Physical activities such as balance, climbing, bikes or push along toys. Puzzles.

The toys that are out for free play get rotated regularly so they find something new. Adult interactions are very important, nursery rhymes and songs, looking at books and just general chatting and interactions, being responsive to the baby communicating. Trips out to see something new.

The toddler room is generally much more structured in regards to activities.

When my kids were in nursery I think it was pretty much as you describe, but actually in a group setting “not a lot” fills the day!

We used to drop off at 7am, and others would arrive between then and about 9am. During that time one of the three key workers in the room would manage the breakfast table, as each child could have their own (parent provided) breakfast on arrival. Another one of the three key workers would be sat on the floor to sing/chat/play/cuddle with the kids if they weren’t eating, and the third key worker would be managing the parents/nappies etc.

They had a snack all together at the table at 9.30, which including hand washing, sharing out food, chatting etc would take 30 mins or so.

Then a morning activity for 30 mins to an hour, again with one key worker sitting on the floor to support “free play” for those finished/not engaged with the activity.

Lunch at 12. Again 30 mins to an hour including sharing out, eating, chatting, hand washing/wiping before and after.

A nap after lunch for 30 mins to 90 mins, with key workers sitting on the floor reading books/playing/singing for those kids who don’t sleep or wake up.

An afternoon activity for 30 mins to an hour. Same drill.

Then afternoon snack. Again 30 mins incl sharing out/wiping hands.

And suddenly it is 4pm and some kids start leaving. Others play/read stories with the key worker on the floor until pick up time.

Scatter in three/four nappy changes and your child has had a full on day, albeit doing fairly mundane things. Such is the life of a baby/toddler!

I sympathise with the key workers who can’t give much detail about the day. I couldn’t describe what I’d been doing all day when I was at home on Maternity Leave, because it was all very boring mundane and repetitive.

Shes 18 months old. Let her be a baby..shes doesnt need structured education all day. She's already in an institution. Honestly this is getting silly now with nursery. They are babies! They're meant to be eating grass, pooing and eating all day! At home she would be accompanying a parent on their errands and chores interspersed with some time for play and sleep.

weve used 2 nurseries now and both have pretty structured days around topics like seasons, maths, animals, Halloween etc etc. The staff are really creative in my option. We have gotten info on activities at both nurseries via an app and now an email at this new one. In terms of dd being chill, we found the opposite. DD1 is uber laid back and we found everyone wanted to spend time with her because of that. She is almost 4 and even with this new (lovely) nursery she has only just become as chatty there as at home and that’s almost 6 months after starting, so unless she’s a real chatter box I am not surprised than an 18m toddler doesn’t chat as much in nursery. Our nursery who used the famly app used to put a post on there every Monday about the activities for the week, I think it would be reasonable to suggest that to them!

Thanks for your responses everyone. It sounds as though it is normal but on the scale it’s at the less engaging side - there are clearly nurseries out there doing way more too. I don’t think she’s getting the best experience she could be..

Because she’s content enough I’m reassured enough to keep her there for now but definitely going to look into what they do when she goes up to older rooms to ensure it’ll get better. I am also going to re look at other nurseries around with fresh eyes on the activities they do and also how they communicate… just incase I’ve missed a much better more engaging local one not asking the right questions first time round 🤦‍♀️

I don’t think she needs structured education but do think more engaging play and activities would benefit her. At home she will pick up concepts and names of things etc (like animals and the sounds they make, or different body parts as examples) - but that’s cause she being actively engaged with and taught whilst playing.

If all she’s doing is free play and not talking to anyone because she’s chill she’s not thriving like she could be somewhere better… just okay imo

I think it all sounds pretty normal for the baby room- that is a big age different from tiny babies to your little one as well and they can't really do crafts and messy activities with a 6 month old as you would do with a toddler. I'd expect a big increase in those type of activities when they move up to the toddler room.

I’d try and find out about how much yhey tall with her. I think that’s important .

Babies mostly just potter around and play.

From working in a baby room I know that when you get an 'activity' out, most of them are interested for about 60 seconds before going back to pottering around.

The main downside to nursery care is generally they are just in one room all day.

Just because the nursery uses a lot of free play doesn’t mean the children aren’t engaged or essentially ignored. The adults will be communicating with them, joining in and there will also be communication between the children. Perhaps your idea of free play is vastly different to what a nursery would class as free play.

I think it ask her to be moved to the toddler room asap/ the next vacancy.

There was a big jump from baby room to toddler room with my DD - they can please outside they can start to paint - activities get a lot more engaging in the toddler room

My dc went to a nursery that was 1-1 sessions from 6-12 months, then a baby group where parents stayed from 12 months to the term after they turned 2. Then they went to the pre school sessions where parents dropped off and then picked them up at lunchtime.

In the baby group it was only about 2 hours but there would be free play but there would also be messy play, water, sand, painting etc. Then snack time, singing and home. There were a lot more staff though and the parents stayed so it was easier for them to do more activities.

Your lovely baby is an example of what happens to the non-squeaky wheel in a communal childcare setting.

In a typical baby room there will be little by way of planned activities and the only element of routine will be set mealtimes. This is because of the big difference in developmental levels among the babies.

I'd honestly be looking for a childminder for your LO. There would be more and better quality individual attention.

Free play in a baby room usually means babies under age 1.5 picking up toys and chewing on them.

I think this is now my biggest concern actually. They fact she’s a talker but they didn’t even realise she talks.. Less about the fact she’s “free playing” and whatever that looks like.. and more about the fact she’s being left to it whilst doing it/not being talked to or engaged with. The main leader only realised she talks after I brought it up as surprising she doesn’t do it at nursery…

How many babies in the room?

I didn’t even consider a childminder when looking purely because I don’t know much about them and just had nursery in my head.. but this has made me realise I need to look into them! Definitely considering it - but once a bit older is it better for older kids to be in nursery as it’s closer to a school like environment 🤔

I think it was around 9, not sure day to day if it’s at any one time or just split across the days