Unsure which nursery to pick

[anedotalreassurance]

We’ve signed our DC up to a lovely nursery that we immediately felt drawn to it had such a warm, welcoming atmosphere. We left feeling really good about it

That said, the location isn’t ideal. Being a one-car household, nursery runs are tricky, and on top of that we can only afford 3 days a week there. This means the other 2 days we’ll be juggling working from home with childcare, which isn’t sustainable long-term.

We’ve since come across another nursery that’s within walking distance and much more affordable, which would significantly ease the financial strain. It’s term-time only with school hours, but they do offer wraparound care if needed. Since our jobs are flexible when we WFH, the timings could actually work out.

My concerns with this second nursery are:

1- brand new, so there are no reviews or Ofsted reports yet.
2- The setting isn’t as aesthetically pleasing, and while they passed their hygiene inspection, I found it less clean than I’d expected on our visit.
3- The baby room felt quite sparse and makeshift, though I understand they’ve only recently opened.
4- There aren’t dedicated key workers for the babies — staff rotate due to sickness, maternity leave etc.
5- There are male staff members changing nappies (I know this might sound unreasonable, but it gave me pause).
6- Still need to figure out childcare in school holidays

That said, when we visited, DC stayed in the baby room for nearly two hours and was fast asleep by the time we picked her up — so she clearly felt comfortable there.

AIBU for having these reservations? Should we just stick with our first choice nursery instead?

Having a key person is part of the statutory framework, so they would have to follow that. Having male practitioners is a real bonus, and there are strict safeguardinv guidelines in the new framework too.

It doesn't sound like either meets your needs. The second one in all honesty sounds crap. Your child is going to spend a significant proportion of their life there - it should be more than just a holding room and they have to have key workers. But you can't work from home and look after a young child. What about child minders?

1. Fine. All nurseries are/were new at some point.
2. "Clean". I worry about nurseries that are too clean UNLESS they're new and haven't had children in them long. A new nursery should be clean.
3. could be ok as new. Mine would be but with a budget ready to get stuff when the need appears.
4. That's wrong. Do not go there.
5. Yes it's totally unreasonable and sexist. What would you say if you partner didn't like a garage because a woman worked there? Don't go there. Don't go to the first one either. Look after your child yourself. Workers just trying to do their job deserve to just be able to go to work unbothered by attitudes like yours.

This is exactly what I thought. However the owner clearly stated they didn’t do that. That being said I’m thinking is it because they are still yet to have their official inspection, since they are newly registered.

I also get your point about the male practitioners however I would prefer if they were with the older children. I wish I was more liberal but I think it will take me a while to get comfortable with the idea of a man changing her nappy. I don’t even let family members who aren’t her Dad change it

Thanks for your feedback.

The comment about the holding room. That’s actually what it felt like. They also said the room is multi use. Which I thought was strange because surely infants need continuity.

I haven’t made a real effort to look into childminders but I think I will. I have a space reserved for her at the first option, so if I don’t find a suitable childminder then I’ll stick with my current choice

It doesn’t sound like either nursery is right for your DC.

You also need somewhere where you can afford the number of days you work - you can’t look after a very young child and work at the same time.

Thanks for your feedback.

1- I was very excited to give it a chance because it’s new.
2- They didn’t have any carpets. The practioners was walking in and out with shoes on. So were we. Gave me pause because when my DC starts crawling. That said they said the carpets will get put in over the Christmas holidays. DC is due to start Jan
3- I wanted to give them some grace as it was new. But they said the room was multi use. Plus not many toys. The room was also used for wrap around which is mixed ages plus dance plus baby room
4- The key worker part was my biggest red flag. When I asked about settling in, the owner said only one kid needed it the rest didn’t but offered it to me anyway. Which I thought was strange
5- I know IAMBU my DH was more open minded about it. I’ve also heard great things about male practitioners.

For now I’ll stick to the first option if I can’t find an alternative childminder

I would say neither. You can’t work from home and keep a toddler safe never mind met their emotionally and learning needs.

I don’t think we can afford 5 days a week wherever we go regardless. Unless we look at term time only

So what’s the alternative…. Being a SAHM is not an option. I may be able to get family help once a week.

Can you share a break down of your out goings and income? People will be able make suggestions. Have you look at all the financial help you can get with childcare?

Working from home while looking after a toddler doesn’t work. My manager did it a day a week for a year and she very clearly was not doing her job and it’s really damaged her reputation/standing at the company. It also jeopardises the whole work from home benefit for everyone when others take the piss

My job is very flexible and ive always WFH before it was even a thing. As long as the work gets done it doesn’t matter if it’s done between the hours of 9-5. It’s not ideal but 5 days means living hand to mouth.

A childminder who can do 5 days 9-3 would be ideal. If they offered the occasional early drop in or late pick ups

Bin off the second nursery. A good nursery is run by people who care about the intent as well as the form of the rules about childcare provision. Key workers are a vital part of nursery for tiny children who need a close bond. Good nurseries will move key workers to make sure that bond works. This one doesn't even think they have to do it.

And your gut isn't wrong on men and children. Screw all the cool mums here. Disabled children at my school only have female staff members doing any intimate care. That's our safeguarding rules. And when you look at the macro data on crime and sexual crime - is easy to see why. Not all men, whatever, but overwhelmingly statistically male crimes.

Does your employer know you will be doing childcare at the same time they are paying you to work?

Childcare costs aren't a new thing, so shouldn't really have been a surprise.

Parents who work from home whilst looking after their kids are the reason so many employers don't trust people WFH and are making people go back into offices more and more

Thanks!! I will