Been bitten at nursery and haven’t been told!

[JM0934]

Hi all, my youngest one (who is 21 months old) has started at a new nursery back in August. We had to move her due to us moving house and my older one started school.

The previous one was a much smaller nursery (my 4 years old was there for almost 4 years). Our kids never had any problems, just some occasional accidents with falling over which is normal.

My 21 months old has only been at the new one for just over a month now. She’s already been hit in the face once by another child and had a bruise on her face. Staff informed me about this one and said oh we didn’t really see what happened, but you know they are kids and they don’t understand. I’m like ok, well accidents happen.

Today, after I undressed her for her bath, I’ve noticed a bite mark on her upper arm. Nobody has told me anything when I collected her so I don’t know if they didn’t see it again, which I would be concerned if they didn’t as I can imagine she probably would have cried.

I don’t know if I am over reacting over this but we’ve never had this issue with the old nursery and I’m starting to get annoyed with this new one now.

Should I say something to them? She’s not back in until next Wednesday now.

My son went through a biting phase at nursery and the staff always told me straight away, even if it was a small mark. Once they didn’t see it happen, but they noticed the mark later and still explained it to me at pickup. So yeah, you’re not overreacting, it’s reasonable to expect some communication, even if it’s just “we noticed this but aren’t sure how it happened

Perhaps they didn’t see the mark, especially as you first saw it whilst undressing for the bath 🤷🏼‍♀️. Was she wearing full sleeves today? I don’t routinely strip children other than when I have to change their clothes for whatever reason. Yes, your little one may have got upset but perhaps the staff didn’t know the reason she was crying and after a cuddle she settled. If a child gets upset I don’t immediately start removing clothes to check if there are any injuries as there are so many reasons a child would become upset.

have a chat with them when your little one is next in and explain what you saw on her arm. The chances are they have no idea it happened. With the best will in the world, you cannot have eyes on every child at every second and some incidents do get missed.

Take a photo of the mark.

You are not overreacting.

They are failing to provide adequate supervision. In my experience, a biter never just bites once - whoever bit your child has done it before, and they should be aware of that and provide far better supervision.

Report this and ask for their policy wrt incident reports.
Tell them you expect to see a written report whenever your child is bitten or comes in contact with a hard object as a result of other children's behaviour, whether objects are thrown, used to batter, or child is pushed (to the ground, against another child, or into walls or furniture).

Frankly, I'd be looking around for another nursery, or a CM.

There's always a first time. I was mortified to get a call my daughter had bit someone. She'd never done it before and I'm hoping doesn't again, I did talk to her and am working on alternatives for big feelings and saying no (she doesn't have many words yet)

It's also safeguarding issue. You should report the mark on her arm before anyone else spots it and asks you what happened.

I mean, if you’re going to go to that extreme, then maybe nursery isn’t the right place for your DC.
I have yet to meet a toddler who has never pushed another child or thrown a toy that’s hit another child. It’s called growing up.

Thank you for all your replies so far. I have messaged them through the app thing they supposedly use to send photos to update me everyday (they’ve only sent them to me once!) so will see if anyone replies before her next session. If not, I will definitely speak to the key worker when I drop her off.

I think I’m just a little bit annoyed with the fact that she’s been hit/bitten twice since she’s started (less than a month as she didn’t go in for 1 week due to her illness). Like I said, we never had any issues like this at the old nursery apart from the odd falling over.

You’re not overreacting at all. It’s normal for toddlers to bite, but what’s not normal is the staff failing to notice or report it. I’d raise it politely but firmly with the manager.