Nurseries : Help would you switch your child to a new nursery

[Roxyoc]

Hello fellow Mumsnetters - Would appreicate your views.My 3 year old son and 5 year old daughter have been at the same nursery for 2 years but both in different rooms due to the age difference. My son has always been happy and settlled however has been resisting going into the pre-school room where his sister was since turning 3 in June. The nursery advised to wait until his sister moved to school and try again when she started reception which was 3 weeks ago.

My son cries every time to try move him to the pre-school room which is odd as most of his friends have also moved up and he is very close to two of the boys now in pre-school. The nursery have tried multiple settling in sessions and even brought a pre-school teacher he liked to the toddler room to help. Nothing has worked and they are saying he is physically too big to remain in toddler room which I understand. He is waking at night crying that he does not want to go to nursery and is crying going in most mornings. We have agreed to leave him in todlder room for another week to figure this out. My son told me he really does not like 2 of the 3 pre-school teachers and one of them I understand as my daughter and lots of other parents also dislike her but obviously we did not say this to my son.

I am tempted to move him to a new nursery opposite my daughers primary school as I feel perhaps a new setting could help as he may feel left behind with his sister moving on. The downside is he would not have any of his friends there and it is part of fo a prviate school so I presume most of the children will go onto attend the private prep school afterwards. My son is gaurnatted admission to my daughters state school on sibling priorty. Having them both in the one location would help with our morning drops offs too.

I hate seeing him misearbale and he is only happy when in the the toddler room. He is not attached to any particular teacher there and on the whole there is alot of staff turnover so I am not sure it is long term the right place for him.

My question is, what would you do in my shoes? Would you move him to a new nursery near his sisters school or keep him where he is currently and hope he eventually settles? Would welcome your opinions which I alwasy find valuable.

Many thanks for reading my post

I’d be very concerned that 1. There is a lot of staff turnover and 2. He dislikes 2 of the 3 teachers, one of whom is also disliked by parents. Why? Would you like to be a small child spending hours with adults you don’t like and who have absolute power over you, day in and day out? He can only communicate his distress by what he’s doing now. In the toddler room he feels safe. In the preschool room he doesn’t.

I worked in a preschool and a forceful staff member sets the tone of the room. Is that why there’s a high turnover of staff? Luckily in my case, the manager was on top of things and the said staff member left.

To answer your question - I’d visit the other nursery. Children do make friends at a young age and odds are that his friends will be in a different class who gravitate to other children as time passes, the same with your son. It will be nice for your son to see the school he will go to (the one your dd attends) and your life will be easier.

When you visit, do ask about staff turnover as that is key to what it’s like away from parental eyes. At my preschool there was a mix of younger and older practitioners and they stayed for years.

@Abracadabra12345 Thank you so much. It is really helpful to have a perspecitve from somebody that has worked in a nursery. Two of the teachers my daughters really liked have left and the teacher she didnt like is still there and I personally do not care for her either. The parents of the pre-school room have called a meeting with managment to address the high staff turnover at the nursery next week.

I am going to go look at the other nursery on Monday and ask the questions you suggested. Thank you so much. Really appreciate your inisghts and time to reply to me.

Yeah I would move them. He's very clearly unhappy and isn't adjusting and he's told you why, he doesn't like 2 of the 3 teachers. I had a very scary English teacher in year 5 at school, who thankfully I only had for a couple of hours a week so I put up with it but I was genuinely scared of her and had anxiety going into her lessons because she was so mean to the students. I would not have wanted to stay at that school of I had her as my full time teacher.

So maybe he's doesn't feel safe with those teachers.

Sounds like it can’t be much worse for your little one than at the current nursery, doesn’t sound like you have much to lose by trying the new one!

update - I moved my son to a new nursery opposite my daughters school and he is so happy .

thank you to everyone who replied to my post with their wisdom and helpful opinions . I’m so grateful and it gave me the confidence to move him . Much love ti you all and thanks again x