Nursery workers - is this normal for a child?

[Anothergirl20384747]

Looking for advice and perhaps to help told I’m being too much 🤣

my 2 year old (27 months so just 2). Started nursery two weeks ago after being with a childminder for a year and is getting more upset every day we drop her off. She was begging to come back home today and shaking. they text me to say she had settled after 10 minutes, but didn’t provide a picture when I asked for one.

is it really normal for a child to be that upset? And get worse with each drop off? Am I being unreasonable to expect a photo to reassure us she’s okay?

I'm so suspicious of childcare settings as I know staff are paid poorly and they are stretched financially. She’s also come home yesterday absolutely drenched where she wet through her nappy - so she must have been wet for a while!

The nursery is quite small and cheaper compared to others in the area - I can’t change this unfortunately as we don’t have the money to pay more and I need to go back to work so can’t keep her at home.

It can be normal for children to be upset especially when changing to an all new setting with all new people, yes. Our nursery provide photos when they can but they are busy with the children, they can’t provide them on demand and I’m okay with that as I’d rather them be focused on the children.

I would not be happy about the nappy though so would be speaking to them about that.

Not every child will settle in every setting, this nursery might not be right for her, but if you can’t change it then she’ll have to just get used to it, nothing you can do really.

Was she wet through when you picked her up? No, that's not normal. Do you get updates of nappy changes?

There are so many emotions involved! It's hard to drop them off when they are upset. Have you had any feedback from other parents of children at the nursery? Can you get some (local parents WA or FB groups?)
Did she settle ok in the first week? Have you had any photos of her playing happily? What's she saying about nursery - ask the staff what toys she's been playing with

I wouldn't be happy about the drenched nappy at all. I think I would try to have a fairly non-confrontational word with her key worker about that, and see what the reaction is.
Does your daughter have much language? Is she able to tell you much about why she's upset at nursery?

Nappy- not on! Nursery staff usually have a schedule that they keep to for nappy changes.

Key person- who is this and can you arrange a meeting?

Photo- I am with the nursery in that I would not be able to guarantee a photos soon as she has settled, This seems quite demanding and perhaps they want to keep screens to a minimum in the setting.

Was it not possible to keep her with the CM?

Nappy no, she should have been changed. Photo yes. Some nurseries just don’t do many photos at all. I go weeks without getting one through on the app they use at my son’s. At the nursery I used to work at, you could only put on app or send to parents if it was only your child visible in the picture. So when they’re all grouped together this can be really tricky. Some nurseries are forever sticking the iPad in a child’s face and Ofsted don’t like this generally.

Emotionally, yes, within the realms of normal for settling.

however, you say you’re ’suspicious’ of childcare settings and if that’s truly the case, I’d look at not using one. No way I’d be leaving my child in a setting where I didn’t trust the people working there. Yes they’re probably young and on poor wages as many people in the sector are but that doesn’t mean you need to be suspicious of the setting.

She had been changed to be fair, she had other trousers on. But the leggings were really soaked - like she must have flooded and then some for them to get that wet.

I’m not too upset about the photo as I expect they have other children they don’t want in to the photo as-well.

So they leggings that were wet were the ones they'd taken off her, she wasnt wearing them? Was it definitely wee?

She’s at nursery now because we’ve moved and to be honest she is quite shy and I hoped it would increase her confidence in a small nursery!

She speaks well for her age but doesn’t talk about nursery at all - I wish she could then I wouldn’t be so paranoid 😂

When I say I’m suspicious, it’s probably the wrong word, I meant similar with the NHS - I don’t have much confidence in them due to chronic underfunding and staff shortages.

I suppose all I can do is work to be able to afford a better nursery where I can check in more often and get updates.

Thanks all, seems I’m just being a bit overprotective!

I’m not sure - they said it was ‘a big wee’ but it looked more like she had sat in a pool of water. When she leaks at home it tends to be out the side.

We don’t get photos until the end of term at this setting. And she doesn’t seem to have a key worker, I think it’s because they are quite a small nursery (there’s only 8 kids in her class).

Thank you this post is really reassuring <3

It’s normal for settling to take a little while. I’ve seen lots of struggles this week dropping DS at school from preschool and reception age kids, yours is even younger still. If she’s settling quickly after drop then that’s reassuring. If they don’t photos outside of a termly newsletter then fair enough, they’re not going to change that by your request.

As for the very wet nappy do ask them what their routine is but at that age I had potty trained mine and one of the reasons I knew they were ready was because they were holding wees for hours then doing a really big one that would flood the nappy and sometimes it would leak. If she’s also leaking at home then I’d be wondering if it’s that.

That’s interesting! We did attempt to potty train her this summer but she didn’t take to the potty. She is always taking her nappies off though! Maybe we should focus on that for a week and see if cracking that helps.

it is a requirement of the EYFS to have a named key person for your child so follow that up with the nursery.