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Please help- at my wits end

27 replies

Waitinggame42023 · 07/09/2025 08:48

I've just started back at work after nearly 1 year's maternity with my first baby. DH and I had everything figured out- we'd both rearrange our working patterns so we're each looking after him for 1 day per week, he's then in nursery two days per week, with our in-laws looking after him on Monday (their offer).

My son had two settling in days at his nursery the week before he was due to start, and all was well. Except last weekend, 2 days before my first day back, he (and then me and DH) got Norovirus. Bloody hideous. And my son still has diarrhoea over a week later, with no signs of it stopping. The dr wasn't interested ('let's wait and see). Husband's already taken 2 days off work. My son's already missed 2 days of nursery, and will now miss a 3rd. Despite us not seeing them for weeks, my in-laws are also unwell so cannot look after our son. Even if he's well enough for Thursday's nursery session (which is looking unlikely), he needs more settling in days before he can start full days, as he's now lost the opportunity of 'easing in'.

So I now have to take 2 days off next week to look after my son, as well as cancel major dental work I have booked. And still, my son will need the extra settling in sessions (and when do we do these? Theyre 2 hours long and nursery is a 30 min walk away each way).

How the hell do people manage this? It's not sustainable, is it? One of us can go part time, but there are major implications to this, including having to say goodbye to saving enough for a house deposit so we can buy a home before our son starts school. I'm at my wits end here, how do others cope?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Atsocta · 08/09/2025 19:10

This happens all the time..just plod on .

PrincessScarlett · 09/09/2025 16:35

Can you forego the extra settling in sessions and just start with full days?

Also, I would up the nursery days to 3 days per week as you've already realised that grandparents cannot necessarily be relied on for childcare. Then if grandparents want a morning or afternoon here or there they can on one of the days you or DH are at home.

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