Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

No water/ wrong suncream

13 replies

Expectingbetter · 31/07/2025 20:13

I'm not sure how best to approach this so looking for some sage advice. Sorry for long post but trying to give all the context.
My wee boy is in his settling in period at nursery, and has been doing well gradually building up the time and getting used to the new environment. He's 3 and has only ever been looked after by me or family on the days I work. We regularly go to playgroups and classes before he started nursery, but he is still quite reserved around other kids. Really bright and articulate for his age so can seem older, but not very confident with peers, he's still learning. So I expect the busy nursery with the noise and lots of other children to come with some challenges, but I think it's important to have that experience to build social skills independently of me.

Anyway, I collected him today and he was happy, and absolutely filthy.
He was quite red on his cheeks, I assumed from running around the garden.
We went inside and his stuff wasn't in his little cubby and the staff weren't sure where it was. After some searching they found it.
We head off home. I notice he smells of suncream, but not the one I put into the nursery (I deliberately use unscented products because he has mild eczema and perfumes irritate his skin)
In the car home I realised his water bottle is still full, I offer him a drink and he downs the lot! He tells me he hasn't drunk all day. I had assumed they'd just refilled the bottle. I ask did he have a cup of water or milk at lunch, he tells me he got one but didn't drink it.
Then later he tells me that a boy sprayed him with suncream, I asked if it was an adult and he told me it was a kid and the lady (staff member) will need to tell him off.
I tried not to overly probe or lead him so let him tell me in his own time and worse and he described the boy in detail. He told me a staff member put cream on my son before he played outside.

So is it that noone could find his bag so used whatever cream was to hand, and thought nothing of it and a child also sprayed him with cream and noone thought to mention it?
Did staff use his own cream and a kid sprayed him with something different and no staff saw it?

And for the water, I'm quite sure it's been offered a drink but do they not check if a kid hasn't drunk it and offer again or something to drink out with meal times? Surely toddlers should get a drink of water between lunch and hometime?

I know he definitely did pee at nursery because he told me a staff member helped him change his pants because they were wet. And his wet things were in the bag.

The handover was "great day seems to be settling in nicely, happy with playing alongside other kids, but we'll work up to him getting more involved as time goes on". And he seems quite happy about nursery (teary goodbyes in the morning but coping and getting less distressed by drop off as the days go on).
I appreciate staff won't report the minutiae of the day but surely wet pants, suncream being sprayed by another kid, and not eating or drinking are things you'd mention?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
TickyandTacky · 31/07/2025 20:32

I'm not massively sure of the problem...

They couldn't find his suncream so used another. What would you have preferred them to do?

He was offered a drink and didn't drink it. Aside from telling you he didn't drink it (which he can clearly do himself so no worries) what could they do?

The spraying of suncream also seems a non issue, I dont know why you need to be told about that.

Once children become verbal, there's a lot less handover needed. Your ds told you everything they needed to so apart from saying OK thanks for letting me know, what would you have gained from the exchange?

CaptainFuture · 31/07/2025 20:35

What did he say when you asked why he didn't drink the offered fluids?

thismumneedssun · 31/07/2025 20:51

I think next time I took him in I'd just gently remind them his suncream is in his bag for when they need it, if your worried though could you get one that you apply in the morning and will last all day? I have an 8 hour one for DD because school won't reapply it so I do it in the morning and it lasts until pick up.
ask them if they could make sure he drinks plenty, just mention that he was very thirsty on the way home. As a former nursery nurse, they should be ensuring children are offered or have constant access to water all day anyway, it isn't too much to ask.

Whyx · 31/07/2025 21:05

I would just ask them tomorrow. Their response will help you gauge their feelings on the matter and you'll know if you're on the same page or if you need to clarify things. Don't be confrontational.

When my son was 1.5 or so, he cried the ten minute journey home asking for a drink, he downed it once we were home (picked him up at 5). I asked the nursery the next day and they said that they'd had the bottles for snack time (2.30) but they were on a table after this. They made a point after this of getting them out an hour after snack and offering to all kids. Problem mutually solved!

The way nursery handles parent concerns and creating solutions tells you a lot about the setting.

Sunshineclouds11 · 31/07/2025 21:09

I agree a gentle reminder on the sun cream.

regards to water, he refused to drink what was offered, did he say why?
could he have just said that?
my DD has open access to her water bottle but does like a good drink once joke

stichguru · 31/07/2025 21:27

Too many questions

  • why wasn't his bag in his cubby?
  • why couldn't they find his bag?
  • how often was he offered water?
  • why didn't he drink?

Like you have one scenario where the adults never encouraged a 3 year old to drink on a hot day, didn't watch him put his bag away, didn't check he had put his bag away, never thought about whether there was sun cream in his bag. When working with children who are only just beyond toddlers this is blatant neglect.

You have another where the child is told to put his bag away, is seen doing so and then goes and moves it, or takes the sun cream out and puts it somewhere else. When it comes to putting cream on, the member of staff hasn't time to work out what each 3 year old has randomly done with their own cream, so uses the nursery one. That's reasonable. Same with the drinking, if they tell your child to drink and he refuses, they aren't allowed to tip water down his throat!

legoplaybook · 31/07/2025 22:24

He'll likely have been offered drinks at snack time and meals so 3x in a day.
Is he definitely meant to bring his own bottle? Most nurseries I've worked at have had their own bottles/cups for the children rather than each of them taking their own water bottle.

The suncream thing is difficult to know based on what a 3 year old says. Seems unlikely that the other 3/4 year olds are doing there own suncream and even if one did spray another that doesn't really seem like an incident that would need reporting to parents?
Have you told the nursery that your son must only have his own suncream applied?
Just for speed/practicality, if you are applying 20 suncreams to children it's sometimes easier just to use the nursery one unless a you know a particular child has sensitive skin.

Expectingbetter · 01/08/2025 06:27

Thank you for all your replies. They're really insightful.
He isn't back until next week. So I plan to ring the nursery this morning to have a conversation and let them know I'm worried he's not had enough to drink, I appreciate he would have been offered but maybe needs some more encouragement.
I wrote on his forms about specific cream due to eczema, I appreciate if you've a squad of kids they would use the same one, but I've informed them of the skin issue so a gentle reminder of that. Perhaps I'm sounding a bit precious about the other kid spraying him with cream, I just thought it would be mentioned.
I think ultimately it's all solved if they're better organised. Not being able to find the bag and therefore his water bottle and suncream is solved by labelling the cubby (most of them are labelled but the new kids haven't been done yet).
I appreciate the feedback that they won't report everything when DS is able to tell me himself, I understand that. My point of view is that the staff would give the headlines of the day so they can demonstrate how they managed them. The 3 year old will only report part of the story.

Hopefully a conversation clears things up, maybe I can offer some feedback that they find practical.

OP posts:
autienotnaughty · 01/08/2025 06:55

I volunteered in school nursery and was quite surprised at how little they do for the kids. (in terms of supporting personal care) They would say at points In the day get a drink if you ar thirsty but not see who gets one. They only refilled water bottles if asked by the child. No hand washing reminders after toilet. They were sent to wash hands before food but no supervision. If a child couldn’t fasten their coat it went unzipped unless they ask for help regardless of weather. Unless weather was extremely cold coat was optional.

tripleginandtonic · 01/08/2025 07:45

Nursery fosters independence. He'd doing fine OP, don't get precious over the small stuff. The only thing of concern is the sunscreen but you could solve that by getting a 24 hour one.

DappledThings · 07/08/2025 12:49

Mine never took water bottles to nursery. I have no idea how often they were offered water but I assume at breaks and food times which is fine. If he was offered water as he says and chose not to drink it they aren't going to force him.

None of this sounds like any kind of issue to me.

Pinkstuffs · 07/08/2025 12:55

Are you sure he didn’t have a drink? My DS takes a water bottle which is often full when we get home but I know the staff refill it. So maybe they just filled it up again?

Maybe a reminder on the suncream but I have been to pick up a few times and a member of staff has had to go and find DS’s bag. I presume they must be incredibly busy and would rather they were watching and interacting with him!

It’s hard leaving your baby for the first time in nursery care. If it were me I would actually leave it another session before going in with my ‘feedback’.

Expectingbetter · 07/08/2025 20:22

Just to update. I called the nursery the following day and had a really good conversation with the manager. The nursery has just been taken over by new management and there are some new staff as well as the new intake of kids including my son, so a period of adjustment for many.
They took on board my feedback about labelling set cubbies for the kids, and the suncream thing was noted and staff reminded kids should be using their own labelled cream.
The water issue resolved too. There is a "drinks trolley"😂, that all the kids water bottles are on, my son didn't know that but now he does.

I'm glad I called them, the manager and staff are really lovely and open to feedback, I was worried I would come across as being OTT but I thought about how I would feel if it was my business and I'd gladly take on board reasonable feedback that I could use to make an improvement for all concerned. And that's how it was received by the manager.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page