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Nurseries

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4 year told nursery I have been hitting him

4 replies

Lll898 · 26/07/2025 09:45

I arrived at my son's nursery yesterday met at the door my two staff members.

Taken to office to be informed that during a upset time my son had lashed out and spat at staff he was being told to use kind hands 'my mummy shouts and hits me all the time' then he said doesn't want to go home as mummy hits me.

I've never hit my children never would even consider it, I'm mortified when I get to nursery room doors my son runs at me across the room mummy mummy my mummy is here never scared to come home, have two sons at nursery aged 3&4 and both do same come to door end of day excited, both won't go in until we have had kisses and cuddles and my 4 year old won't go in room until his watched me walk down the corridor

My 4 year old is under CAMHS and has some assessments coming up (ADHD, ASD, Sensory Processing Disorder)
Nursery has been a great support great SEN approx year ago he was asked to leave child minder due to repeated biting pushing behavior and very lucky to get into the nursery.

I said yesterday the only thing I can think of last Sunday we were playing well jumping around holding hands in his room and I lost balance as I did his leg clipped struck bed and left a bruise straight line on this thigh, declared this Monday morning and my son said to his room leader so noted mummy and me dancing we fell over and hurt my leg, at time he did blame me mummy hurt me and we had so many cuddles afterwards.

I'm petrified and don't even want to face nursery Monday morning

OP posts:
hoarahloux · 26/07/2025 16:48

Sorry this is happening. Legally, they have to investigate this, as I'm sure you know. If they thought he was actually at risk of harm, they wouldn't have told you - they would have called the police. Please don't be mortified. You've done nothing wrong and they aren't judging you.

Did they say they were making a safeguarding referral?

Lll898 · 27/07/2025 23:59

Thank you.

I find out tomorrow if they are referring my sons statement and my own go in front of head of nursery for a decision. I have been so upset about Friday over the weekend I really don't know why he would have said it, I asked him gently what he said and he just went silly on sofa laughed then span around a bit before running off. Fingers crossed the head goes by what they see day to day not what's his said, may sound extreme but have looked into buying some cameras at home.

OP posts:
legoplaybook · 28/07/2025 13:44

Sounds like the nursery should make a referral from what you've said as they shouldn't be investigating themselves, but chances are not much will come of it - you might get a phonecall from a social worker.

PrincessScarlett · 30/07/2025 13:46

Agree that nursery shouldn't be investigating themselves. They should be speaking with their local safeguarding team for advice if they don't know whether to refer. It is likely that they will be told to refer however it may mean they make an early support referral to help you all as a family rather than a safeguarding referral.

Try not to worry. If there is a history of SEN/behaviour issues with your child, early support may be the best thing.

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