Saw nursery worker 'roughly' handle child

[Fantabulousauras]

During a settling in session for my child we saw a nursery worker in the baby room sort of shove a one year old down by the arm. She wasnt holding the child so didn't need to put him down or anything.

But he was standing in the sand pit and she wanted him to sit i assume. I am not sure why or if there is further context i am missing. I don't think he was trying to climb out but can't be sure but even so the wall is very low so it would have been ok?

The child wasn't crying but had a bit of a lip wobble so could possibly have been upset by this. There were no smiles from the nursery worker She may have had something in her other hand too if that is relevant. I had an uneasy feeling about her because of this mainly but she also looked generally a bit annoyed but that in itself is human nature and a non issue I think.

I have tried to provide as many details as I can remember to see if this is something that I should be concerned about or does it need reporting.

If I was going to be present for more sessions then I would wait and observe more but this was the first and only session I am present for.

Equally, if it is a non issue I dont want to raise anything that doesnt need raising as my child will be around this person too.

Insight welcome.

Trust your gut
what you saw wasn’t nice and I’d call it out

Should I mention it to my child's key worker (only met her once today) or the manager? I dont know the name of the staff member that I witnessed doing this yet too but she looked quite young so could describe that way.

Only email or call the manager directly, don’t tell your key worker - ask them for manager to call or email you if you don’t have contact details.

I can call or email the manager. A phone call might be better to describe it appropriately.

I will tell the manager if it is the right thing to do. At the same time i want to make sure i am making the right decision and it is something that warrants raising as I wouldnt want my child to be treated differently by this staff member as a result.

Would you still continue with this setting as a parent after seeing something like this?

I know what I saw but I am second guessing myself as it is a big thing to raise.

I personally wouldn’t unless you get a very strong sense from the manager that they have addressed it. I would imagine they will be quick to cover it up. I reported something a long time ago, similar and by the end of the conversation I doubted myself so much I questioned if I had done it (I was sleep deprived and anxious but I hadn’t hurt my son!) I moved nursery.

The nursery is rated Ofsted Outstanding and we left our previous nursery because of safety issues - not unkindness but more safeguarding.

My child's current keyworker seems lovely. The only slight thing I witnesses was she had children around her and on her lap and another child started crying and he wasn't attended to but she did say something to him and he soon stopped crying. Assuming if he cried for longer, he would've been attended to by someone.

Will need to start the hunt again if we move due to this and already struggling with childcare!

I'm not sure if if the incident you mention is a problem or not, it might not be ideal but I think in any setting where people are managing multiple kids it sounds pretty ordinary? I was at a playgroup today and a mum pulled one of her children to sit down with her at snack time.

Same with the child not being 'attended to' while crying - in a nursery they are not getting 1:1 attention, at best it will be 1:3 and often not that. The worker already had a child in her lap and multiple others around her.

Maybe a nursery is just not the right setting for you? I don't think you will find one where children are never physically moved or allowed to cry.

Honestly i just want people's perspectives on whether this is an issue or non issue and I mentioned the child crying but if you see the context I wasnt jumping to say it was an issue. I just wanted to build a full picture and I appreciate your perspective. I wouldnt say nursery is not for us all together though.

I can’t say for certain without it seeing myself really whether it’s an issue or not , but what I can say is that I personally wouldn’t be comfortable with my child being treated that way so I would probably mention it to management and I also wouldn’t be using that nursery.

Thanks for your perspective.

Raise it with the nursery management. Have they got cctv?
I was shocked to find out not all nurseries do. Mines got the place covered and there's a massive screen in the admin office with all the live feeds on which id hope is a good deterrent to that kind of awful behaviour.
I wouldn't send my child to a nursery that didn't have cctv.

It’s really worth looking around to find a setting that you are comfortable & happy with, it will ease your stress and worry massively. Just because something isn’t illegal or reportable doesn’t mean that you will be comfortable with it all. We viewed quite a few nurseries before we found one we were happy with, the others won’t be being shut down for neglect or anything like that but I just wasn’t comfortable with them for various reasons.

If I were you I'd research another setting because you'll worry while your kid is there otherwise.

At my ds's nursery (dd was there before him), the staff always seem cheerful and approachable even at the end of the day - I don't know how they manage it because their job must be so exhausting - sometimes I peep through the door-window before going in and they always have their game face on even when they don't know I'm there. I think maybe they are well enough staffed that they can take breaks when they need it. They also combine rooms at the end of the day so some staff can leave early and so on. They just seem (from my pov) like they take staff well being seriously and everyone benefits. I'm always confident that my son is being well looked after.

So I'd hold out for a nursery that you're completely happy with, they do exist!

They have got cctv it is in the moment cctc and doesnt record so I am guessing that means it doesnt record at all?

It will mean going further out of the area but I guess it is worth it for a decent nursery!

If it were me, I personally wouldn't send my child there but I appreciate childcare is a nightmare to sort. Are there any childminders local to you as there are less children there so more adults to child ratio.

I really hope we find one in that case

Might need to look into childminders

My little one is in a childminders and honestly he's got such a great relationship with the staff as they can take more time with the children because of there being less kids. I think it's a lot nicer for the child to form those bonds

No nursery worker should be roughly handling any child. I certainly would not be leaving my DC there.

You know what you saw wasn’t right or you wouldn’t feel the need to be posting here.

When I was looking around at nurseries I witnessed a member of staff absolutely yelling and ranting at a child. It was way out of proportion. I was with a friend and she felt the same as me and we didn’t use the nursery based on that incident.

I also witnessed a childminder in a park calling a child ‘little brat’ under her breath and that put me off childminders!

It’s really hard op. I do think you should say something to the manager and take note of their reaction. You don’t want anyone defensive.

I wouldn't send my child to a nursery that didn't have cctv.

CCTV doesn’t stop appalling staff behaviour, as the awful case of Genevieve Meehan demonstrates. The CCTV put the perpetrator behind bars, but didn’t prevent the death of a 9 month old baby occurring at the hands of a killer masquerading as a caring nursery worker.

Generally speaking, I would say that if a member of staff is treating children roughly while visitors and parents are on the premises, it doesn’t bode well for their behaviour when they are unobserved.

Completely agree with you. Such an upsetting case.