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Nursery not doing 2nd nap

12 replies

Iambeat · 09/07/2025 17:41

16 month old attends nursery 4 days /week. We are not quite fully one nap a day yet. She currently wakes between 5 and 5.30am regardless of 1 or 2 naps. When I have her at home and can get her back to sleep until 7-7.30am she has one (lunchtime) nap and this works. If I can’t get her back to sleep after 5am wake up she needs two naps.
At nursery they,more often than not, put her down for a nap in the morning. She usually wakes from this about 10:30-11. They then tell me she ‘refuses’ an afternoon nap. I know she is capable and NEEDS the afternoon nap as she has been awake for a long time (and we have no issues at home). But, the nursery have no dedicated sleep room and they usually move the kids to the room with the cots (and toys) about 3.30 so they can clean up the other room (2 rooms total) after snacks/lunch. So, 4 plus hours after her morning nap there isn’t actually anywhere to put her down. They don’t admit this. She needs a second sleep about 3ish. Today I picked her up and they noted she had a 25 minute morning nap and refused a second nap. What do I do? She fell asleep in the car on the way home and now bedtime is going to be nearer 10pm. Plus she wakes during the night. I think she is overtired and I’m exhausted. Plus, she doesn’t eat a lot of the nursery food. I asked if I could provide a packed lunch but they are strict nut free premises. I’m not sure what to do as she appears to enjoy it and like the staff. It took so long to get her settled there.
Any ideas would be appreciated.

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PolyVagalNerve · 09/07/2025 17:44

Often the stimulating environment of a nursery will change the sleep pattern
she may take 2 naps at home
but they can’t force her to in the nursery
maybe wake her up after her car nap ??
wear her out for an earlier bedtime

Overthebow · 09/07/2025 17:50

Most toddlers will be on just one nap a day at that age so that is usually what the nursery schedule in the 1+ room is based on. Usually they’ll all nap together at lunchtime and it would be quite difficult to find somewhere quiet as well as staff to facilitate another nap. Could you tell them just to put her down with the others at the lunchtime nap and forget the second nap?

Namechangerage · 09/07/2025 18:03

I would ask them not to let her nap in the morning and specify that you would only like her to nap around lunch. Say it is impacting your family time in the evening and see what they say.

As a rule of thumb though, you do need to learn to chill out and accept you cannot control everything once they start going to nursery. About the food for example - she’s not going to starve while she adjusts to the food. This is all great preparation for starting school.

You can understand them being cautious re packed lunches, in case they have a child with allergies. They are the ones with duty of care.

ScrewedByFunding · 09/07/2025 18:13

I also feel that, as much as childcare providers should work with parents and care for the child as an individual, there has to be some give on both sides. I've been childminding for 16+ years and I've definitely noticed in the past few years a distinct change in how prepared babies and children (and parents!) are for childcare. When I meet parents I do let them know for example that whilst I am happy to cuddle and hold babies whilst they learn to settle at my house, my long time aim is to get them sleeping independently. This doesn't occur to a lot of parents. Likewise with food, a lot of pre packaged baby snacks are used for weaning and my home cooked meals take some time to adjust to.

legoplaybook · 09/07/2025 18:19

If it's not practical for them to do 2 naps at nursery then you have two choices:

She does one (possibly very short) nap in the morning
or
She has an after lunch nap with all the other children.

Sunshineclouds11 · 09/07/2025 21:03

My DD, 17months has one nap at nursery and two at home also.
but at nursery they put her down after lunch.
I would probably ask them to do this so she hasn't got such a long stint till bed time.

regarding her refusing, she genuinely could be. There's a lot going on in the room and if she's happy and say not crying cause she's knackered then she's ok.
the journey home is always a danger trip for naps on the way home.

WhatMe123 · 09/07/2025 21:12

Can't imagine nursery can facilitate two naps they tend to have one long nap after lunch at that age at nursery

Iambeat · 10/07/2025 12:23

Thanks for your comments. I asked today if they could hold off on a nap until lunchtime.
My sister is a nursery nurse (over 20 years and with babies) and told me they should facilitate naps based on her cues. Her nursery has young babies so multiple naps are a given. But, she also said to find a nursery with a separate sleep space, so I was warned..

This has gone on for a few months as we try to transition to 1 nap. I am very sympathetic to the challenges of their job (as my sister reminds me) and that’s why I’ve held off asking.

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Sunaquarius · 11/07/2025 12:42

Can you ask them to wake her up from her first nap early so that she will go down for a 2nd nap with the rest of the children at lunch? It might just be that she isn't tired enough to sleep again.

I'm currently in the same situation with my 16 months old (although I am a SAHM so not dealing with a nursery). 2 naps is to many 1 not enough.

For example today she woke at 7am, I literally gave her 10 mins nap at 10am, woke her up, and she was back down at 12 for her proper nap.
If I give her 20 mins, she can stay awake for 3 hours before needing another nap.

If I let her nap properly at 10am she wouldn't go down for a 2nd nap until about 3pm, and from what I've heard nursery do nap times around lunch?

SJM1988 · 11/07/2025 12:47

My DC's never had two naps at nursery because of the routine of the rooms. A morning nap was based off babies need. After lunch nap was 'enforced' - quiet time, lights out, blinds closed.
They both started at 11 months. I asked to put the first nap after lunch (when the majority of babies in the room napped). They seemed to get a longer and better sleep when we did that. It took a few weeks to get a pattern but they got there. There were alot of 5pm bedtimes after nursery in the early days but it worked.
Both my children dropped naps really early tho - oldest all together by 2.5 years (in time for lockdown 2020!!)

Girlygal · 11/07/2025 12:50

Toddlers don’t need a morning nap. Mine went down to one nap after lunch around 10 months old. She is also an early riser, usually 6 or earlier.

Iambeat · 04/09/2025 10:22

Thanks all for comments!

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