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To move or not to move

7 replies

Suzisushka · 02/07/2025 19:49

Our 3.5-year-old son is currently attending a private nursery, which we believe is a good one. He has learned quite a lot there — including all the English he knows, since we don’t speak it at home. He goes from 9 am to 3 pm, Monday to Friday. I wouldn’t say he loves it — he (almost) never says he wants to go, and quite often says he doesn’t. That said, in the 1.5 years he’s been attending, we’ve always managed to convince him to go one way or another.

He also often says he’s bored there, although lately he’s been talking about three friends at the nursery. It’s a small setting — a maximum of 24 children and three teachers. He also likes his key worker (who is unfortunately leaving).

Now, we have the option to move him in September (he’ll be 3 years and 9 months) to a nursery attached to one of two good state primary schools nearby. Of course, the staff-to-child ratio there will be much higher. The advantages, however, are that both schools are slightly closer to us and, naturally, more affordable. That said, we can afford to keep him in the private nursery for another year if we choose to.

I realize this is a very general question, but I’d be grateful to hear any thoughts or experiences others might have on the matter.

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simsbustinoutmimi · 03/07/2025 03:53

He is young enough that if you move him he will make new friends, but he might still not like nursery that much. If you are planning to put him through state school (as opposed to private education) I would move him.

are the children at the current nursery going on to private education?

CloverPyramid · 03/07/2025 04:13

Double post

CloverPyramid · 03/07/2025 04:13

Is it a nursery which is part of a school, or a private preschool that happens to use the school’s facilities? Lots of parents I know moved their kids to our village school’s pre-school, not realising it wasn’t actually officially linked and didn’t interact properly with the rest of the school, use all their facilities etc. They were quite disappointed to find it was basically the same as nursery just with more inconvenient hours!

How certain are you to get into the school? Going to the attached nursery doesn’t usually give you any advantage in admissions criteria, so I wouldn’t bother moving my child unless it was to a school I knew for sure he’d be getting into based on the actual criteria. It’s a lot of upheaval to settle him into a new environment if he’ll only be there for one year and then go to a different school, and unsettling for him to get used to one school and move to another.

Regarding friends, I wouldn’t let that stop me moving him. He’s going to have to leave them behind to start school next September anyway, and in a way it’s easier to “break up” the friendship now than let it get deeper over the next year and your son be older and more able to be sad to leave them.

NeedZzzzzssss · 03/07/2025 04:14

I'd move him, it doesn't sound like he enjoys it so what's the point in staying

Suzisushka · 03/07/2025 07:47

Thank you for all the answers! We are certain that he will attend a state school, and it will indeed be one of these two. As far as we understand, we will be able to choose either of them, since they say so, we are in the catchment area for both, and the schools are not oversubscribed.

In fact, we've recently been wondering whether we could start by moving him to one of these schools for just a couple of days per week to begin with, while keeping him in his current nursery for the remaining days. I wonder if this might help ease the transition—or whether it might actually confuse him instead.

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mrsnjw · 03/07/2025 13:46

I would investigate funding for the state school. Lots state schools won’t share the thirty hours funding with another setting.

simsbustinoutmimi · 03/07/2025 16:33

Suzisushka · 03/07/2025 07:47

Thank you for all the answers! We are certain that he will attend a state school, and it will indeed be one of these two. As far as we understand, we will be able to choose either of them, since they say so, we are in the catchment area for both, and the schools are not oversubscribed.

In fact, we've recently been wondering whether we could start by moving him to one of these schools for just a couple of days per week to begin with, while keeping him in his current nursery for the remaining days. I wonder if this might help ease the transition—or whether it might actually confuse him instead.

I would just stick to one. If your certain he will go to the state school near the nursery I would move him, but I’d do it ASAP before he has a chance to get closer to his new friends, otherwise he may not want to leave.

i wouldn’t stick him in two nurseries at the same time.

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