Would you be bothered if…?

[honeybee16]

DD started nursery a few months ago when I returned to work from mat leave, around 14. months old at this point. Lovely local nursery, kind staff and the two owners/managers seemed very warm and welcoming, very involved and interested in all the children etc - all good.

A few weeks back she needed a stint in hospital for about 5 days, we were admitted by the hospital after a call to 111. Thankfully all OK in the end. I obviously contacted nursery about this at the time to explain the absence and kept them informed.

AIBU to feel disappointed that neither manager never checked in to see how they were or even say ‘really glad to see x back at nursery’ when they open the door to us at drop-off or pick-up? No mention at all and in fact, the air has been a little ‘cool’ since then.

DH says to let it go but I feel a bit bothered by it. This is where we drop our little one 3x times a week so it would be nice to feel there had been some (basic, IMO) interest.

It doesn’t take much to say, does it..? Would you be bothered?

No, It wouldn’t even occur to me to be upset by comments that weren’t made. We don’t know why your child was in hospital so we don’t know how serious it was but I understand there will be a lot of staff who look after a lot of kids so they won’t remember the reason every time a a child is off. You’re being unreasonable and very sensitive.

i don’t think you are being unreasonable, being courteous aside… the nursery care for the wellbeing of your child so surely they should ask questions to ensure everything is ok and is there anything they need to be aware of. Medical history etc can change and being able to safeguard your child includes ensuring all of this is up-to-date.

I wouldn't have expected them to contact you whilst your child was in hospital, but it's a bit off that they didn't mention it on your first day back.

They look after lots of children so yes I wouldn’t expect them to contact you while away but a yes a nice to see dd back. Hope feel better etx wouid have been nice

I wouldn’t expect a call, they are a business not your friends. I would expect them to ask how your lo is doing on return though. Partly from the perspective of is there anything they need to be aware of. (Unless you had already informed them prior to returning)

Nursery and school will not look out for your child the way you do they just don’t have capacity. It can be a bit surprising to discover they won’t do extras like cut up food, wipe noses, zip coats up (depending on age)etc

Thanks for the responses. Was feeling a bit bothered by it last night. I think I was just expecting a simple ‘really glad to see DD is well and back’ literally as we come face to face when they let us in during the mornings, I didn’t think it was much out of their way of just general conversation but…. seems it is!

I work in a small nursery and always ask how my key children are doing if they're off ill especially if I know they're in hospital. I message on the app. My manager is probably too busy to but she's happy for us to check in and update her.

I also wouldn't expect a message whilst in hospital, but the senior staff at our nursery most definitely have said 'so pleased she's better' or similar when DD2 has returned from a hospital stay (as well as going through any new medication/care instructions, of course). They also ask a child about their holiday if they've been away for a week or two and similar.

I would be a bit miffed op.

I remember when my DD was in hospital for a procedure, her nursery made her a lovely card with all the kids helping to decorate it. It was very sweet. And it was a long time ago but I'm sure they asked how she was when we returned.

I wouldn’t expect the nursery to be checking in if my child was ok - they’ll have children off ill every day.

Not acknowledging it when you dropped her off is a bit of an oversight, but they may have been busy or similar.

I wouldn’t overthink it.

At our nursery we (well, my DC primarily) are greeted with a smile "Good Morning <name>!" Often "how are you?". Are you saying they didn't even greet them?

Don't think you're being over sensitive at all. I worked (many years ago) in a nursery class with 45 children in, 3 to 4 year olds, morning and afternoon sessions. If one had been in hospital we certainly would have welcomed them back and had a word with mum. It's sure what you'd expect from those looking after your children.

I think it would be a good idea to mention the outcome of the hospital visit for their records.
Surely they would need that info for safeguarding.