Protocol for Nursery Discipline

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Viviennemary · 10/06/2025 08:46

You say he is quite wild. Maybe you need to think about becoming more stern and take a leaf out of the nursery workers book. He is obviously quite a handful. Also as you were actually there why didn't you keep him under control.

Original poster

CocomelMUM · 10/06/2025 11:58

Viviennemary · 10/06/2025 08:46

You say he is quite wild. Maybe you need to think about becoming more stern and take a leaf out of the nursery workers book. He is obviously quite a handful. Also as you were actually there why didn't you keep him under control.

There’s a difference between wild and badly behaved, I’d assume that was clear but obviously not, he is disciplined trust me on that. I didn’t ask to be shamed I asked if this was normal in nurseries as a grown woman raising her voice in a 2 year olds face just doesn’t sit well with me. He already entered nursery as I said I didn’t see what happened as I was putting his things away.

OP posts:

QuickPeachPoet · 10/06/2025 12:00

You clearly think his ‘wild’ behaviour is funny and now FINALLY he has met someone who won’t put up with it.
What do you want her to do? Oh nooooo daaaaaarliiiiing, dooooooon’t do that?

TallulahBetty · 10/06/2025 12:01

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LegoAirlines · 10/06/2025 12:08

What does his ‘wildness’ look like? Is it something that could be dangerous/ scary / disruptive for other kids?

Balloonhearts · 10/06/2025 12:12

Sounds like nursery are just firmer with him than you are. He's certainly old enough for a sound telling off if he is being badly behaved and tbh it does sound like you allow him to run riot so I can easily imagine nursery having to be sterner with him.

Viviennemary · 10/06/2025 12:13

CocomelMUM · 10/06/2025 11:58

There’s a difference between wild and badly behaved, I’d assume that was clear but obviously not, he is disciplined trust me on that. I didn’t ask to be shamed I asked if this was normal in nurseries as a grown woman raising her voice in a 2 year olds face just doesn’t sit well with me. He already entered nursery as I said I didn’t see what happened as I was putting his things away.

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What is the difference between wild and badly behaved?You need to deal with the wild behaviour. The nursery worker attempted to. You didn't approve of her methods, OK. Maybe find a different nursery

Original poster

CocomelMUM · 10/06/2025 12:14

QuickPeachPoet · 10/06/2025 12:00

You clearly think his ‘wild’ behaviour is funny and now FINALLY he has met someone who won’t put up with it.
What do you want her to do? Oh nooooo daaaaaarliiiiing, dooooooon’t do that?

oh I find his wild behaviour far from funny especially since my eldest was never like this. I’m not a shit gentle parent who approaches him like that but I just don’t think being right up in his face is right

OP posts:

BodenCardiganNot · 10/06/2025 12:14

I’m wondering is this normal discipline in nursery..

It probably depends on the nursery..

Original poster

CocomelMUM · 10/06/2025 12:19

Balloonhearts · 10/06/2025 12:12

Sounds like nursery are just firmer with him than you are. He's certainly old enough for a sound telling off if he is being badly behaved and tbh it does sound like you allow him to run riot so I can easily imagine nursery having to be sterner with him.

I couldn’t be any more firm than I am, he has every form of discipline I can possibly do and to add that I’ve asked why he was given into trouble - he splashed in water that was all

OP posts:

QuickPeachPoet · 10/06/2025 12:22

CocomelMUM · 10/06/2025 12:14

oh I find his wild behaviour far from funny especially since my eldest was never like this. I’m not a shit gentle parent who approaches him like that but I just don’t think being right up in his face is right

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I guess the burning question is did he pack it in afterwards or did he carry on with the bad behaviour? If so then it worked.

rainbowruthie · 10/06/2025 12:24

Nursery will have a 'Behaviour policy' ask to see it if you are worried...

justgoandgetpizza · 10/06/2025 12:26

MN have gone bonkers about toddlers. They do behave badly, it’s how they learn, they can be boisterous, disruptive and difficult.

I think it’s one of those where that very stern voice is very effective for some children. DD would cry; DS would have laughed. It’s worth having a chat to nursery but I wouldn’t be too worried if no other concerns, just put it down to a bad day.

purplecorkheart · 10/06/2025 12:28

I wonder did she get that close to him to hold his attention? Maybe if she was further away then he would be distracted by what was happening around her. The loud voice is probably just being firm.

Did you not ask her what he did?

Profpudding · 10/06/2025 12:28

Splashed water once or splashed water repeatedly getting on everybody’s nerves, Preventing the other children from playing upsetting them, Making a mess for the nursery room workers have to clearing up.
It’s very different at home where at the end of the day if they spill water all over the place the only person that’s got to deal with it you
If somebody splashed water in my eldest face that would’ve made her cry so now you’ve got two toddlers needing attention where it wasn’t necessary if one of them behaved

CurlewKate · 10/06/2025 12:29

Talk to the nursery staff. Find out what their policy is. Come up with a plan to manage his behaviour going forward.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 10/06/2025 12:32

I think @justgoandgetpizza is right, @CocomelMUM, and a chat with the nursery about their behaviour policy is the best way forward.

Do you know what it was that your ds actually did - you say he was round the corner from you, so could you see what he was up to? Is it possible he was doing something risky, and the nursery worker felt a serious tone was called for?

There is a part of me thinking that maybe a firm approach from people who aren't his mum might be what will help your ds with his behaviour - but on the other hand, if you aren't happy with the nursery and their behaviour policy, you shouldn't send your child there. This isn't terribly helpful advice - sorry.

Mooselooseinmyhoose · 10/06/2025 12:48

I think you're getting an unnecessarily hard time here OP. I'm a strict parent but someone shouting in my kids face is not OK. Getting down to their level is fine. Speaking firmly is fine. Shouting is not. Maybe just ask the keyworker what their discipline methods are. If one person got carried away in the moment that's different to it being an accepted policy.

FloraBotticelli · 10/06/2025 12:52

I don’t think shouting in kids faces is right, regardless of the behaviour. Nor is being 1cm away from them in an intimidating way - it’s invasive to their physical space and it isn’t behaviour you would want them picking up on and repeating. I’d tell the nursery you’re not happy and ask for that approach not to be repeated.

But equally, find out what happened that evoked that response from the staff and look to address that with your son too.

MsSquiz · 10/06/2025 13:19

So you saw the nursery worker tell him off, but didn't like how she did it? I presume you asked her what he had done?

Sunshineclouds11 · 10/06/2025 18:37

What had he done?
and did he stop once she told him?

Banannanana · 10/06/2025 20:05

Did you speak to the nursery worker after, OP?

I work in early years and wouldn’t personally shout in a child’s face, but unfortunately it is quite common and I do see it a lot.

However, if I had had to speak to a child whilst a parent was still there, I certainly wouldn’t expect that parent to just leave without first speaking to me about the child’s behaviour and also speaking to their child to reaffirm that we don’t behave like that in nursery. You are the parent here, OP. It shouldn’t be left to nursery workers if you are still present.

What I will pick up on is your attitude to him being “wild” and splashing water being “that’s all”. Splashing water may be cute and funny at home, but at nursery it ruins other children’s play and can upset them and that is NOT okay. No child should be disrupting the play of others. There will be different and firmer expectations at nursery than at home because they’ve got so many children with varying needs to deal with. His “wildness” will therefore have more of an effect at nursery than at home. What seems like a “that’s all” situation at home won’t be when it affects a bunch of other children. You need to have a firm chat with him to reaffirm expectations at nursery.

Also, I don’t understand how he was able to go and splash water whilst you were there? No child should be behaving that way whilst their parent is there as you should have still been parenting him at that point.

Also, the fact your son is behaving in a way that he needs to be spoken to immediately upon entering the nursery is a major concern. That would be more of a concern to me than the way he was spoken to. He is going to come across many teachers/childcare workers who speak to him more firmly than you would. Have they tried other menthols first that don’t get through to him, since this behaviour is still occurring?

Banannanana · 10/06/2025 20:13

Banannanana · 10/06/2025 20:05

Did you speak to the nursery worker after, OP?

I work in early years and wouldn’t personally shout in a child’s face, but unfortunately it is quite common and I do see it a lot.

However, if I had had to speak to a child whilst a parent was still there, I certainly wouldn’t expect that parent to just leave without first speaking to me about the child’s behaviour and also speaking to their child to reaffirm that we don’t behave like that in nursery. You are the parent here, OP. It shouldn’t be left to nursery workers if you are still present.

What I will pick up on is your attitude to him being “wild” and splashing water being “that’s all”. Splashing water may be cute and funny at home, but at nursery it ruins other children’s play and can upset them and that is NOT okay. No child should be disrupting the play of others. There will be different and firmer expectations at nursery than at home because they’ve got so many children with varying needs to deal with. His “wildness” will therefore have more of an effect at nursery than at home. What seems like a “that’s all” situation at home won’t be when it affects a bunch of other children. You need to have a firm chat with him to reaffirm expectations at nursery.

Also, I don’t understand how he was able to go and splash water whilst you were there? No child should be behaving that way whilst their parent is there as you should have still been parenting him at that point.

Also, the fact your son is behaving in a way that he needs to be spoken to immediately upon entering the nursery is a major concern. That would be more of a concern to me than the way he was spoken to. He is going to come across many teachers/childcare workers who speak to him more firmly than you would. Have they tried other menthols first that don’t get through to him, since this behaviour is still occurring?

Edited

oops meant methods not menthols!

This is not me blaming your child OP, 2yo’s will be 2 yo’s.

However, his behaviour needs to be dealt with by you, as his parent, not just left to nursery workers whom you then complain about.