Would you as a parent remove child from nursery

[Hyperquiet]

So my one year old has been attending nursery for 3 months.

In that time a couple of major issues have occured:

1. Bitten on the face by a child that has bitten other children before to the extent where the mark is still dark and visible after about 2 months and counting.

1. Slipped on a scarf at nursery and has fractured leg now.

Everyone around me is telling me to remove child because:
-These are 2 major issues in such a short space of time when my child hasn't been attending nursery long (only 3 months).

• The first issue is around the severity of the bite and lasting mark from a known biter rather than the child was bitten at all as I know that can happen.
• The second issue is because of what my child slipped on a scarf which are quite slippery, considering this is a baby room where one year olds are new to walking. I understand they use these for activities etc but it was that it was left on the floor.

Child is around 1.5 years old for context.

Particularly interested in views from other parents whose children attend nursery too as you'll have the perspective of a parent and end user.

Not really sure what to do for the best as they are accidents, preventable or not i don't know? I want to make the right decision but don't want to uproot one year old unless it is in their best interests as they are settled and the staff generally seem kind to the children.

However, my child will be transitioning to the 2 years plus room in a few months so if it is the best idea to move then that would probably be the best time frame.

I don't understand your thinking. you accept both were accidents, but you're mostly pissed off with the severity of the impact.

so if the bite mark had gone in a day or two & her leg had just been bruised then you wouldn't be thinking about moving her??

makes no sense to me when the events would have been the same.

i understand it's hard when your child has been hurt, but children bite in any environment. She might have been bitten in exactly the same way at a play group with you. You might be able to keep your hardfliirs at home free if scarves (and as you said on your other thread yesterday- paoer) but DD will put a book down or something & is just as likely to lose her footing.

it all happens, you are blaming the nursery for normal things. It's not a reasonable reaction. Your family/friends are naturally protective of DD, but they are being irrational.

It would depend on my general feeling and how they had settled into nursery.
My DS got bitten quite soon after starting ( by a play date friend because other mum told me that her ds got moved to next room because he was bitting). And then it was almost every week he was falling and cutting his lip, but he was doing this at home as well and he's the type of kid that if you try and interven when he is about to fall he falls even worse!
I love his nursery because they are very out doors focused and he always comes home covered in paint , mud or sand which shows that he's doing lots! Staff seem to have a real bond with him and know him as an individual.
So for me it would depend on the nursery in general but I would definitely want to have a sit down discussion with them.
I'm sorry your little one is in plaster. Hope they are on the mend soon

My husband has commented he has felt the floor is too cluttered with things about but I personally thought it was normal in a room full of babies.

No they didnt do anything like this

Yes this is what has made me nervous

So this has only just happened i dont know if you remember on the other friend. It has been a day so I certainly havent looked into alternative childcare.

To be honest calpol etc is a normal medication so I don't mind asking about things like that on here. Obviously you may be more nervous about those things and prefer to ask a health profession which isnt wrong either.

Yeh i have heard some settings can do it but I did think it wasnt realisticm but then I wonder how do other places manage it.

Yes i have asked to see CCTV if there is any so will see what they say. Thanks.

Yes someone mentioned this actually and they said they were going to follow reporting procedures so I imagine they will.

So i am not pissed off actually I am upset. Not that it matters but still.

Also I dont think your comparison makes sense because the differences in examples is severity of impact. I dont think a bruised leg e.g is the same as a broken one. And I would forget about a bite mark if it disappeared after a couple of weeks but after a couple of months I am concerned it is going to last.

If you think differently then you do. We will have to agree to disagree.

As someone who had worked in a variety of nursery, echoing the chorus of 'its one of those things'. Not wishing to be blasé about it. It's good that the biting hasn't happened again. The nursery staff will be potentially frustrated with the biting too but it's very common at that age and not feasible to really enact 1:1 unless they hire a separate member of staff for it. The important thing is how the staff is communicating with you.

This isn't the first time your child has been hurt at school and it won't be the last. As a year 4 teacher, I had a spate of injuries in the space of a few weeks; knocked out teeth (swinging on his chair which I'd told him to stop a billion times!), a broken arm (slipped during PE) and a big egg on the forehead. (standing on the stairs and literally tripped over nothing, somersaulted down 8 steps - HOW?!) Each time I took it seriously, each time I pulled my hair out and felt awful, no serious injuries before or since. Just bad luck and a clumsy class.

Be kind to the staff, they'll be feeling bad too. Even at nursery age, you just can't be quick enough all the time even if you're standing right next to them.

I havent been unkind to staff and dont plan to.

I agree with other posters that say my response would be based on how the nursery reacted.

my little one has been in nursery full time for 13 months. In that time she has been bitten twice in the same week by the same child, which left a bite mark and bruise. I know that biting is common, and I’m thankful in a way that it’s not my child that’s the biter! These things can happen so quickly, and I wouldn’t expect a nursery worker to always be close enough to catch it.

I would also put the scarf down to bring an unfortunate and unavoidable accident. Whilst nothing like this has happened for me, I sign SO many accident forms as I know how active and full on my little one can be.

I also fully trust the nursery and the staff, I’m comfortable with the approach they take and therefore that will dictate how I would approach these accidents.

if you think your trust has broken down, or you don’t believe the nursery then I think that’s quite difficult to come back from

Oh I don't doubt it. It's understandable you're feeling worried and upset - it is a big deal for you and a nasty injury. Just a general reminder to you and anyone who is reading!

Yes i have signed lots of accident forms too in the last few months and don't think twice about bumped heads and bruised legs. Thanks for sharing your experience.

I think you are conflating the severity of the injury with the culpability of the nursery

okay - well if you’re planning on your child out, then I would think about alternatives and compare - surely you want something better? Or can you take time off work until you figure it out? So paracetamol is actually one of the more dangerous medications to overdose on - so while calpol is used frequently (maybe that’s why you call it normal as opposed to all the abnormal medication floating around!) adhering to appropriate dosage is really important (for all meds but especially paracetamol). I don’t need to check with a health professional because I can read the details on the package. Or if going off script, I would discuss with the doctor discharging my child. If someone on mumsnet or Facebook tells to take a triple dose will you do that because it’s a “normal” medication?

You say people with kids at the same nursery are telling you to leave - are they in the same room or different? Are they also pulling their kids out? If they're in the same room and happy to keep their own kids in there I don't see why they'd be telling you to leave?

Both sound to me like unlucky accidents. If a child is a biter it's hard to manage, and if your child was only bitten once (albeit badly) that's actually pretty good. My friends daughter was in a nursery with one hell of a prolific biter and he bit her 3 times in 1 week, though none that bad. It can happen in seconds. The scarf? She tripped. It's incredibly unlucky it caused a fracture. I've had several incident reports where my child same age has tripped over thin air and clocked head on bookcase etc and left nasty bruises but never a serious accident (touch wood), but he is the same at home.

I'd ask to see the footage of the scarf incident, simply for no other reason than that's quite extreme of an injury for a slip. But if no other concerns it'd just shitty luck.

Depends on Nurserys response and their plan to prevent similar incidents in the future

but in all honestly I’d take the kid out… I did actually change nursery when my kids were at this age as we did have accidents and the response we got plus my gut feel was really crap

don’t let them fob you off, be on their case, I wouldn’t care about the ratio of staff; they have to do all possible to ensure your kid is safe and they need to prove this to you

To be honest I will reiterate it has been a day. 1 day. You may be quicker at looking into alternative childcare but I am not. I am planning to look at some places before making a decision of course.

So we are juggling at the mo having family over while we work from home and I dont think we have the choice of sending him in in a full leg cast just yet.

With your point on would I give a triple dose the answer is no you have to use your own judgment along with advice from other parents. I think that goes for any advice you receive on topics. Hope that answers everything.

I am not conflating I am questioning

Or use a reputable source of info like NHS online or the highly trained professionals at the hospital or pharmacy. There’s also lots of info about how to search for childcare and evaluate it online but you don’t want advice like that - you want someone to tell you what to do.
here it is - I’d take your child out and mind them yourself, that’s my opinion.

Your issue is around the severity of the bite?

Nursery cannot control how hard a child bites another child.

It’s not nice, but it’s life with kids I’m afraid.

To answer your question, no I wouldn’t remove from nursery due to these two incidents.

Thanks for your perspective. What kind of responses did you get from nursery to things?

I agree with PPs that you should make your decision based on how you feel about the nursery in general and whether or not your little one seems happy there. If you feel it's a good environment where children are well cared for and looked after then perhaps these incidents are just unfortunate accidents, which do happen to toddlers. My child has also been bitten and got a nasty cut from running into the corner of a table which has left a little scar. It was a rounded corner so not really much they could have done to prevent this. They called me straight away after the biting had happened and we had a discussion about how they would handle this. It was agreed my child would be kept apart from the biter for the next few weeks which did seem to work. Obviously both incidents upset me but overall I feel the staff are warm and caring and my toddler absolutely loves it there so it didn't consider moving him. I also think of all the near accidents he's had at home when I've been watching him (just because toddlers do impulsive things in an instant!) and it makes me realise that some accidents are bound to happen with children this young. Obviously if you feel that the setting is unsafe or preventable dangers are not foreseen then that's a different matter.