3 year old has really bad nursery anxiety

[katyclement270216]

My toddlers developed a fear around nursery, I can’t even mention it around him without him panicking or crying.
His just started last week, the first two days weren’t so bad and then after that he was terrified of going and I had to pick him up after drop off because they couldn’t calm him down.

It’s only for 3 hours on an afternoon so I thought he was guna be fine as he loves other children and all the activities they do there but I think his struggling with being without me, plus alot of the other children are also hysterically crying about being away from there mom or dads and I think it stresses him out more.
I feel like this is my fault as We don’t have a great support network around us due to family having health issues and our friends are very busy so not able to have him much so his not used to being away from me and quite a anxious child.
I was thinking maybe asking the staff if I can take him to nursery a bit later in the afternoon once the other children have settled so when he walks in it’s not full of screaming crying children and is more calm, I’ve also brought him some worry stones that are stone shape sensory toys that have different textures that help with anxiety that he can pick one to take with him as he likes to hold things like that.
Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me? I want to help him get through this because it will be even worse when he starts full time school and his alway for longer.

I have no words of wisdom but just want to let you know you’re not alone! My dc started preschool in sept, and still crying every morning 🥲 it’s horrid! They were in three days a a week but now it’s four since Easter due to school policy; they are in term time only which I don’t think helps tbh but I’m not working.

We have tried all sorts, dc won’t even eat breakfast the morning of because they are so sad.

Watching this thread with interest. I’ve been trying to settle my 2.8 year old in nursery since January. Only trying to settle 2 days (3 hours morning sessions). Not going well!!!
we stayed with him for a while, he went in by himself once or twice, screamed other times, now totally refusing. We need the childcare! I don’t even know what to do but it’s very stressful.

He started last week. LAST WEEK! not last year.
He doesn’t have a phobia or fear - he is adapting to something that is a new and scary. And he is not going often enough for it to become something familiar yet.
Give him time.

My daughter wakes up every morning asking if it’s a nursery day, and if it is she screams until I drop her there, even through getting dressed, brushing hair etc, nightmare!
My boys were never like that, I think it’s just a personality thing. They just waltzed in every day. Daughter has been at nursery well over a year now. It’s awful!
Are nursery trying to help at all? Maybe a bit soon if he’s only been there a week. They should support you if it continues, various ways they can help - advise you, formulate a plan with you so that drop off is always consistent (same person coming to the door, same way of being handed over eg being carried etc, maybe a song or phrase they always say or an activity they always go to first etc)

Also. It is shit tbh. Like yeah, they have a nice time when they’re there. But the vast majority of us are VERY familiar with work/school dread and would much rather be on the sofa/doing whatever we want. My daughter cries ‘I want my home! I want my family!’. Can’t blame her really! Fact of life.

My child was the same. Never actually really settled. My other child had been there and loved it. All my child’s friends loved it so I don’t think it was the nursery. Turned out when was just that she didn’t like the other kids crying. I’m afraid nothing actually made it better.

I empathise. It was such an awful time and I wanted to quit work