Nursery or childminder?!

[Exhaustedmummy2024]

Hi. I'm just looking for some advice. My high needs, just turned 1 year old has started at nursery, as I'm due back to work in 2 weeks. She's currently done 4 sessions and is still screaming both at drop off and throughout her time there. I know it's early days but I'm not getting a great vibe. For example, I dropped her today and there was no familiar staff who have been there her previous times, surely when they know she's been struggling they would try to make sure they have familiar staff there to greet her. We have a visit to a childminder today but my worry is, because she's quite high needs, they wouldn't 'cope' with her and I'd end up with nothing. Childminders around my area are in demand and so they sort of can have their pick. Sorry for the rambling, just looking for people with similar experiences. When I say high needs, she can be very clingy to me but also can play lovely and be really independent. She is very demanding and definitely knows what she wants, and make sure everyone around her also knows! She's got such character and we wouldn't change her in any way, but she does require a lot of attention, stimulation and interaction!

I would say nursery - get her used to being around others and learn to not be so clingy and ‘high needs’. The staff will be very used to children like that whereas a CM may not be.

Childminder definitely. It’s always the same person looking after your child so she will build up a strong bond and settle quicker and be happier.

I wouldn’t be happy with the nursery for having nobody she know in the room. That’s poor practice imo

Childminder definitely better for younger children under 3.

By high needs do you mean SEND ?

if so and if it’s autism I’d go for a quiet childminder

Of course a childminder will be used to a high needs baby!

Nurseries employ a lot of 17 year old apprentices with little experience. A large nursery will also move staff around.

there are pros and cons to each setting. Bear in mind, with a childminder, when they go on holiday or are poorly, they wouldn’t be able to look after your child. Whereas, with a nursery, you can always rely on them to take care of your child. At nursery, your child will be assigned a key worker which is someone who is primarily responsible for the development of your child.

Childminders are usually the best bet for under 3’s for this reason, a secure attachment to their main cater.

Your daughter however, sounds like she’d thrive in a nursery as she sounds very demanding so may need more than one adult around.

It’s really about the quality of care. A good childminder is lovely for a small child who needs lots of input but it might be hard to find. My son struggled at nursery and I was lucky enough to find an experienced and caring childminder which suited better.

I wouldn't be impressed at the lack of continuity. No one in the baby room who'd been there for the other sessions? Sure, staff get ill and they need annual leave like everyone else, but I wouldn't expect zero overlap (or would expect them to apologise and explain if it's something like two members of staff in the baby room, one on leave, one ill). So I'd not be impressed with this nursery.

Do you know what their staff turnover is like generally?

More broadly, nursery or childminder I think depends on the child. Some really need that one consistent caregiver, or a smaller, quieter setting, so a childminder suits them best. Others are pretty high needs regardless and do better in a setting with at least two members of staff (nursery or childminder with assistant) to juggle all the DCs needs. Others are high needs in terms of stimulation and the busyness of a nursery fills that need better.

I can’t advise but wanted to add our nursery never has this issue. Throughout the baby room we had two staff members there everyday. Obviously sickness and annual leave happens but they used the manager or deputy as cover so all children knew them

Thanks for your messages everyone.
I really didn't feel comfortable with her there and so have withdrawn her. The day after I posted this message, when I arrived to pick her up, she was screaming in the corner on her own and I was told she had been getting herself worked up all morning, to the point she had sort of lost her voice (her throat sounded funny for hours afterwards). I have found a smaller nursery (it is a 20 minute drive from us but will hopefully be worth it) and they already seem so much better! It is very outdoors based which my little one loves. We have 3 settling in sessions booked (compared to the 1 hour at the previous one) and they said we can actually have as many as is needed. Fingers crossed this will be better for her. Thanks again for messages :)

Pleased to hear that!
You definitely need to go with your gut when it comes to these things.