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DD1 (4y 4m) bored to tears at nursery - what do I do?

19 replies

franch · 14/05/2008 21:41

The DDs are at a wonderful nursery - DD1 has been there nearly 2 years; DD2's just started. DD1 has always adored it, right from day 1 - when she was on only 3 mornings a week she kept asking why she couldn't go on the other days, and even wanted to go on Sat and Sun!

Suddenly though she really really doesn't want to go any more - plus her behaviour at home has deteriorated spectacularly. She's given various reasons, including the cooling off of her friendship with the only other girl who's close in age to her, and the fact that DD2 has 2 mornings off that she doesn't have. (Other reasons include having to wear a smock and being told off ...)

But the one consistent reason is BOREDOM - and in fact one of her teachers commented recently that she's outgrown nursery. I think part of the problem is she's the oldest in the nursery, there's a big age gap between her and the next oldest, and lately they've started accepting much younger kids (2 instead of 2.5y) - it's a small, one-room nursery and they do almost all activities as a group, so maybe it's all getting pitched far too young for her.

OK so she's leaving this summer, but how do we keep her happy and stimulated till then? She's extremely bright but I can't do much 'educational' stuff with her at home because of DD2 (2.5y), and anyway she doesn't like being 'taught' by me, and it's unlikely to solve her resistance to going to nursery. One of the other mums is having the same problem with her son, and she thinks the nursery needs an 'ideas injection'. But I'm no expert - what do I suggest?

I have a great relationship with the staff by the way and we have discussed this already - they made an extra special effort to keep her busy and it did seem to work ... for one day! I still think it's a brilliant place and it's sad that a glorious 2 years is ending like this. There's not a huge amount of time left but I just want DD1 to be happy!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
franch · 15/05/2008 09:32

Anyone?

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franch · 15/05/2008 10:09

bump

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binkleandflip · 15/05/2008 10:13

She's just ready for school, thats all. Like you say she is leaving in summer.

No bad thing for kids to learn that sometimes life is boring btw - good practice for adulthood!!

franch · 15/05/2008 10:21

But she is so unhappy binkle. September seems like a lifetime away. I agree with allowing kids to get bored at home - she has all afternoon to do that - but it's not what I pay the nursery for. I feel there must be something we can work out with them which will make her happier and more stimulated. Her self-esteem also seems to be suffering.

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binkleandflip · 15/05/2008 10:25

I have the same issue with DD - she loved her nursery, but when she started in reception she began refusing to be picked up by them (nursery does school-pick up) because she was bored and it was 'baby-ish'. We cant help when our children are born - if you cant take her out of nursery she will have to live with it - the nursery staff have to pitch to majority age I guess, perhaps they could enlist her 'help' in entertaining the smaller children?

Miggsie · 15/05/2008 10:25

My DD in the same boat, she spends a LOT of time with the adults, who are very good with her. She also lays the tables, does cooking and helps the younger ones, or just goes off on her own.
She also does dance and drama and french classes to keep her busy.

witchandchips · 15/05/2008 10:25

Give her jobs to do like
help set out the morning snacks
"read" a picutre book with some of the younger children

franch · 15/05/2008 10:29

Thanks all - you're right about the helping out thing - they did a lot of that the first day I discussed it with them, and she came home very proud of herself - I think they think she's ok now and may have forgotten to keep that going.

Have resisted extra activities as I'm wary of 'over-scheduling' and she gets ballet, French etc at nursery - also not sure if it's worth starting now as it'll have to stop soon - ?

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TheBlonde · 15/05/2008 10:34

I think you should be pushing the nursery to solve this
They should be able to give the older ones different activities as part of preparation for school

DS's nursery is split into 2 rooms but in the younger room there is one group who will go to school in Sept. They are doing different stuff and get homework

binkleandflip · 15/05/2008 10:35

homework at nursery?

witchandchips · 15/05/2008 10:36

i was a bit at this too

franch · 15/05/2008 10:38

Hi Blonde

Apparently they will start more 'work' with the 'leavers' after half term - this may help, or not!

I wouldn't want homework for her, but agree I need to get a solution from them and that they need to focus more on the older ones.

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hotcrossbunny · 15/05/2008 10:49

Hi

This definitely sounds like the nursery's problem, not your dd's. They need to look at how to stretch those both emotionally and academically able children to avoid boredom setting in. I can't understand why they would find this difficult, unless perhaps they are a bit understaffed, or lacking in training.

I wonder if they could set up some kind of ongoing project for your dd, where each day she does something towards it, so that she has a focus for her time and is keen to do it. The taking on more responsibility is good, although you aren't really paying nursery for them to use her as hired help - its a fine line

I* will keep thinking....

binkleandflip · 15/05/2008 10:50

to be fair, it does sound as if they have pre-school activities in place for the leavers in the not too distant future so I think it is a case of toughing it out tbh

TheBlonde · 15/05/2008 10:51

Hi franch
I don't know what the homework involves but understand not wanting any!

franch · 15/05/2008 10:53

blonde

Thanks hotcross - I like the project idea - let me know if you have any more flashes of inspiration

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Chocolateteapot · 15/05/2008 11:01

I agree with TheBlonde. DS will be 5 in September so one of the oldest in his year but his nursery is split so that the older ones spend some time in what they call the Kindergarten with a different set of toys and do little projects eg about different materials ie. wood, metal etc and things like that so he is kept busy and a bit more structured than the younger ones. He does seem to need this and would go nuts without it.

mrsgboring · 15/05/2008 12:27

Can you keep her off one day when DD2 is in nursery and do stuff with her at home?

franch · 16/05/2008 20:40

Thanks choc

Not really mrsgb - I think it would completely derail DD2 who's just started the same nursery - I don't want to end up with double trouble!

What do all you wise souls think about afternoon activities? I'd have to include DD2, and worry it'd be too much for her as she's only just started nursery. I've always been very anti 'overscheduling' and strongly believe in the idea of as much 'free play' as possible, but am now wondering if extra activities might be what she needs? Also feels a bit silly as it'd only be for half a term. There's loads available locally - e.g. on our doorstep there's Mon ballet, Wed French and Fri drama. In fact nursery's advised us to do something about her gift for languages asap, so maybe I'd be killing 2 birds with one stone so to speak. Hmm. Thoughts?

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