Nursery or childminder

[WorthyOtter]

I'm super anxious about baby starting nursery next month, just hate the thought of being without him. I've had nursery lined up for a while now but I've been thinking that a childminders may be better? Can anyone give me some reassurance on nurseries or some pros and cons for both, and any personal experiences. First time mum and never been away from him :) not sure what my worries are about nursery, I suppose just that there's alot of people and it's all new for him

Do you have a childminder available with a space? That would be the biggest deciding factor because around here everyone has big waiting lists.

Nursery has worked really, really well for us.

Whereas we were badly let down by a childminder. People
who have great experiences with child minders will say they’re great, and I’m sure it is for them. But it’s a less resilient set up than nursery’s with multiple members of staff etc.

I'm waiting for a couple getting back to me, but just wanted to hear people's thoughts as I don't know anyone who's used a childminder, everyone I know has used a nursery

I'd go and visit a few to compare, the best thing is to listen to your gut. I think if they are young then you're better off with a smaller setting.

Like previous poster has said go with your gut.
I won’t lie the first few months of nursery were brutal in terms of illness.
But with regards to settling in my daughter loves it and didn’t take long to settle in at all.
My issue is I don’t have any family for childcare or back up and didn’t want to be tied to taking my holidays when the childminder did so felt nursery would be more reliable.
So far almost a year in it’s been the same staff in my child’s room, they have had lots of great experiences and aside from the germs I have nothing had to say.
Definitely go and speak to some childminders and get a feel for what is right for your family.

We've used both over 10 years (3 children!).

Childminder - wonderful if you find a good one, especially in the earlier days when they're still very small. Home from home. Generally much cheaper!

Nursery - wonderful especially from age 2 onwards due to social aspect and wide range of activities on offer. Much more expensive but more flexible too.

If it's a good setting you can't go wrong either way. Very different, but both lovely.

DC1 was nursery from age 1 until school.

DC2 was childminder from age 1 until 3. Then pre-school.

DC3 was childminder from age 1-2, nursery 2-3, will go to preschool at 3.

Too long lists so a few point:

Childminder

• nice and easy especially if in your home
• if childminder is sick you are stuck not to mention holidays
• children less socialised but may not get illnesses early but this could happen at beginning of achool
• dependability or lateness could be an issue

Nursery

• will take the kids and manage illness on their side
• professionals looking after you kid
• better socialisation and experiences
• rigid hours
• can cover their own holidays

Schools always say they can tell if a kid has been in nursery and they are often further ahead and be prepared for your kid to call a childminder mum.

We have had both a nanny and nursery. Would always recommend nursery plus other.

You've mixed up what a nanny and childminder are!

Thanks. It's not so much the illness that's putting me off, but good to hear the positives for nursery. He'll be in the baby room but only until he walks, he'll be 8 months when he goes in so won't be in there for long. Then he's in the big room with everyone, it's this I'm most anxious about

Yeah so most important thing for me is that he gets the attention he needs, just he's still quite small (8 months), and I would hate the thought of him being left to it

No I really haven’t. We had a nanny because we directly employed her but she previously worked at a nursery. It was in our home. Childminders you pay but not their pension etc and they can have other kids and it can be at their home or yours (I have known both). Fully aware of the difference but the point for the OP is around the type of care rather than the semantics of payment….

Ergh. I'm not up for an argument but I've been a childminder for 16 years.

Good luck OP. Please take all advice with a pinch of salt on the Internet. People will make up any old rubbish if they feel like it.

I can only talk about nursery but mine has been great. But it’s relatively small and has a low staff turnover so it’s almost felt like family to my two DC. The youngest leaves for school this September and I really am quiet sad about it.

Oldest now does have a CM for afterschool and that has been great for him starting school as there is no pressure to always be doing stuff.

Is there anything that concern you about the nursery in particular? Going back to work is a big thing and it is hard but being content with your childcare is really important whatever you choose.

Same with you. It doesn’t make your the authority but since you are so adamant on being right go ahead. I am entitled to my opinion as your are yours. It doesn’t make either of is right.

We have had a childminder, employed a nanny and had our kids in nursery so yeah I may know a little about this from a parent point of you. Have you had kids experience all three?

The irony of saying you aren’t up for an argument but starting one is delicious. Ergh yourself.

We were let down by several childminders - one was moving overseas with her DH work and only told us after DS had started, one decided to retire and gave us 6 weeks notice and another unfortunately became ill.

Nursery on the other hand was really reliable and both DS seemed to really enjoy going.

I've used both and think it really depends on the child.

My eldest was very social and loved nursery, having lots of children his own age to play with and all the activities. He had a blast.

My youngest was shy and reserved and nursery was just too overwhelming for him. A home setting at childminder suited him so much better and we've just moved him to nursery full time now he's 4 to prepare for school.

Nursery is more reliable as childminder or their children being sick could cause them to close but childminder is also cheaper.

The nursery seems great, and I know people who take their kids there and they love it. It's more me I think, I worry that he might hurt himself or hate it. I'm just hating the whole idea of leaving him lol

I went with a nursery as I've heard of childminders taking on more children than they are licensed to cash in hand. My colleague used to tell us about the cheap rates she was getting and how some of the other parents didn't know..all very dodgy!
Also I felt that with a nursery, there's more eyes on them so if you have a bad member of staff one would hope that this would be picked up on, whereas no one is watching a childminder.
That being said, if you find a childminder who you trust I think it could potentially be better for the child as they get more attention.

Isn't a childminder someone who cares for children in their own home? And a nanny comes to you? (Happy to be told
I'm wrong)!

I have used both. I'll just tell you my experiences more from the childminder side of things:

I used a childminder for 1 or 2 short days a week when baby was 10 month old when I returned to work up until age 3. I liked the homely environment, and it was much more affordable because she charged by the hour so I could be more flexible rather than pay a day rate. I viewed a couple and she was the second one...the first one had 9+kids and the house was like a nursery which I didn't like. My childminder never advertised herself or got friends to recommend her on Facebook but she told me some stories about other local childminders that were not providing the standard of service that she had. For me, the childminder I chose could afford not to do it, her house was spotless, she had some health issues but limited her numbers to what she was capable of and only had one other boy when mine started. In time I learned she could afford to cherry pick her kids as she was an experience but mature CM with health issues, she knew her limitations and I was more than ok with that. She presented all her qualifications etc and always took the children out to nice places, she always let me know how they were doing with food, toileting, how they were interacting with the other children.

BUT she was intensely lonely for grown-up talk and arguably ND so dropoff and pickups were not a short affair chat-wise and I had to be explicit about saying goodbye due to her difficulty with getting social cues. It didn't bother me too much but it is a bit of a slower pace than dropoff/pickups at a nursery ime. She also shared a great deal with me about other parents and so there was probably an unprofessionalism there that I was OK with but it wouldn't be for everyone. In time her health issues and some of her unfortunate personal circumstances made me look elsewhere. This, and once DC was 3, I think he was kind of bored and really looking for a bigger more interesting social and sensory environment, so I started him at a nursery.

We experienced 3 nurseries between DCs and they were all different so it's worth looking around at them. One was utterly chaotic but cheap but we seemed to bring back so many illnesses from. I did not miss being my childminders sounding board for various issues she was going through and an often overly prolonged drop off and pick up! That is to say that was my experience. I think it's safe to say not all childminders and nursery settings are made equal so it's a case of looking around and going with your gut...nothing is an ideal solution really but all will do the job.

Oh re nurseries...if you drive, find one you can easily park if poss

I agree

No generally you are right but I have also known childminders who come to your house and bring their own children or you agree another child to come. The main difference is really in the way you pay them….

A nanny is your employee so you pay them a wage (PAYE) and have an employer's responsibility towards them (like maternity leave for example). A childminder works usually from their own home so you bring your child to them or they can collect your child from school/activities and go to your home or theirs (because childminders are obviously flexible - before/after school) they may have more children to look after there too, so is generally much expensive.

Not sure there are any firm rules except the distinction of you paying PAYE for a nanny.

A childminder works from their own home/premises, they don't go to the child's home.

Childminder every time. Often in private nurseries there will be very young staff members looking after your baby as they are cheaper to employ. Also staff turnover is sometimes very high in nurseries and they bring in agency staff.

My childminder was lovely, really well educated and very reliable.