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16month old hates nursery

8 replies

Bubbarooney · 24/03/2025 20:03

My boy started nursery two months ago and hates it just as much as he did at the beginning. He spends a lot of the day ‘very emotional’ as the staff put it (crying sh*t loads I think is what I’d call it). Sometimes he’s ok at drop off, other times awful. When I pick him up he’s often just been crying. He sleeps there well thankfully but doesn’t eat the food aside from snacks (although tbf he’s also incredibly picky at home so that’s consistent).

He’s generally always been quite high needs - very demanding and prone to crying and now, tantrums. He’s completely different to my older child who I didn’t realise was so easy until I had my son. I don’t know whether to ride it out and assume at some point he’ll accept his fate or if I should call it quits and find a child minder who has a smaller less frenetic setting (the staff say he finds the going in and out and the door all quite upsetting as I think he’s just hopes were there to pick him up).

He goes three days a week. He takes his fave teddy and carries that around. He has bonded with one staff member in particular and makes a beeline for her. The staff in general don’t seem that fazed by his behaviour but I hate the idea of him just being so sad or cross so much. My other child settled within a month or so and was never so emotional about it all.

I do wonder though if a child minder would result in the same sort of thing though and he’d just hate it being there too. He’s quite a grumpy thing and can be very cry-y at home too. He is so sweet when not furious. He’s been tricky since day one this little darling - I just want one thing with him to be easy…. It weighs heavily on me. Any thoughts?

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Hyperquiet · 24/03/2025 21:28

Im going through settling my similar aged child at the moment. It is so tough.

May I ask, how long did it take for your child to start sleeping at nursery? Mine currently only does about 20 mins there.

Bubbarooney · 25/03/2025 18:31

Sorry you’re having it too - mine started sleeping straight away for some weird reason. He has white noise and pitch black room at home but seems to get on ok in nursery with none of that - does an hour or two. We gave them one of his sleep bags so he sleeps with that and his favourite teddy. I’m sure yours will get it eventually…

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FloraPoste42 · 25/03/2025 18:36

Our 1 year old really struggled settling at nursery. He’s been there 3 months now (2 days a week) and is just beginning to have some happy days - sad all day is still usual, though.

I don’t really have any advice but just wanted to respond and say I know how hard it is to think if your little one being unhappy all day!

Bubbarooney · 27/03/2025 20:43

Thank you! I do appreciate the miserable solidarity!

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Tbrh · 27/03/2025 20:51

I'd push through for a couple of months, then suggest trying somewhere else, especiallyas it doesn't sound like he's settling. Sometimes it's just not the right fit. I know four people as well as myself this situation (although their children were older between 2-3, and there have been no issues at the new place). I feel for you, it's such a stressful situation Flowers

skkyelark · 27/03/2025 20:56

Oh, that's so hard on both of you. However, you say he can be quite emotional at home as well, so I'd be a little reluctant to change setting quite yet if the staff seem to be taking it in their stride.

Does the nursery have a play tent or den or some other sort of cosy space? Could he perhaps be encouraged to play in there/listen to stories in there later in the day when parents start picking up to hopefully distract him from the door a bit?

Bubbarooney · 01/04/2025 20:44

thank you for your kind replies - he’s actually turned a corner! He’s had three good days on the trot (even with a weekend in the middle!). He’s finally seems to get it! I’ve been really trying to talk to him about it which sounds mad as he’s so little but I wonder if my continued variations on “you’re off to nursery today to see your friends and X (his fave teacher) - you’ll have a play, a nap and then daddy will pick you up later! Mummy or daddy will always come and get you” have helped in some way even if it’s just a tiny bit more understanding of what is happening that day. I’m so relived. Hope it gives some other mums hope if they are in the same boat. Took a good two months!

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Hyperquiet · 01/04/2025 21:06

So pleased to hear! Mine has too now.

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