Toilet issues

[Mrsmch123]

My 3.5 year old has been toilet trained since September. Initially there was no issues with this but since going back after Xmas he keeps wetting himself at nursery.
I spoke to them around a month ago about it and they said they would prompt him to the bathroom.
For the last two weeks he's been wet 2 out of the three days.
I don't know if I'm being unreasonable as my husband thinks I am but I'm getting really annoyed at them because they clearly are not prompting him and it's always when we are picking him up they realise he's wet and then they change him.
My husband is of the opinion that they can watch/check that 30 kids are dry.
My opinion is that they have a duty of care and they know it's a issue and they only seem to check him as we are coming to pick him up meaning he's been sitting in pee for Godknows how long!
He's never peed himself at home so there is no medical reason.

What's other's opinions?

I wonder if he could be constipated? We had similar and it turned out constipation was stopping him from realising he needed to go. Might be worth looking into.

Genuine question, how do you know they aren’t trying to help him? What would you suggest they do if they ask him and he says no?

I work in my daughter’s nursery and when I potty trained my daughter at 2, she was dry at home and went completely unprompted but was having wee/poo accidents there. That was even with me there promoting her etc. It was the distraction mainly and she was unsure about their toilets

It would help if you ensure your son is dressed in light trousers- eg light grey joggers etc. It can be hard to see accidents on black and dark trousers. They'd be less likely to miss when he needed changing at least.

Also from my own experience lots of kids regress occasionally with the toilet training, particularly at times they are engrossed in activities. I'd perhaps try offering a treat on the way home for dry pants all day/

I think you’re being assumptive about what’s going on at nursery. You’re not there all day, so you’ve no idea how often they’re asking him if he needs to go.

Remember that if there are 15-20 other kids and he’s involved in games and activities, of course he’ll say he doesn’t need to go, then it’s too late. Kids have a way of thinking that if they stop this amazing activity to go to the toilet, they can’t return to the activity. Their brains can’t manage that level of thought.

It’s very common for kids to be reliably dry at home, but hit and miss when at nursery.

Regarding him sitting in wet clothes, is he not able to recognise that he’s had an accident, and tell the staff?

I was in the same situation as you, by the way. I found that character pants helped. Bluey, Spider-Man, Mario etc. I really emphasised that the character didn’t want pee on his head and even got the pants to talk to my son, putting on a voice and asking him to make sure he stayed dry all day so that they could have a fun day at nursery with him.

@Barleysugar86 because he wouldn't be dry if they were helping.

@Barleysugar86 yeh that's what I have done this last week. It's annoying that he's wet but even more annoying that he's sitting in it.

You can prompt a child all day. Doesn't mean they'll actually go... you can't force them.

Just thought I would update. Turns out he was looking to ask for help from the nursery workers but they were busy with other children or chatting to one another so he was waiting rather than interrupting them and eventually wetting himself. So I said if they were busy it was ok to go on his own as he was more than able to and all has been well since. 😊

That's a great update 😊