DS being hurt at nursery

[husbandcallsmepickle]

Last term, DS (3) was bitten at nursery 3 times in 10 days, twice by one child (A) and once by another.
I spoke to the manager who is also safeguarding lead and said she would refer to the SENCO as A is autistic and nonverbal. (Obviously they didn't tell me it was this child, my son did.) We have also requested that the two children are kept apart as my son is still quite worried about A hurting him.
Yesterday I picked up DS from nursery and he has a deep red scratch on his face. Nursery explained it was a nonverbal child and DS confirmed it was A.
I need other people's feedback as to what I do now. What do I say/do to help avoid any further injuries to my son? I see it as a safeguarding issue.

You need to ask for a meeting with the nursery manager and ask what they will be doing to safeguard your son in future and ask for a review of the room procedures. It is not acceptable for your DS to hurt multiple times by the same child, SEN shouldn’t come in to it as the point here is your son is being hurt, SEN doesn’t excuse this fact and he shouldn’t have to put up with it.

The other child clearly needs better supervision - what are they doing about that?

Yes they need to put measure in place for supervision

Thank you for your replies, it's helpful to know I'm not over reacting. Having already spoken to the manager, I don't want to be seen as an awkward parent.

A picture of the scratch. It was worse yesterday.

You’re not being an awkward parent, you’re standing up for and protecting your DS. Did you request a meeting today?

Talk to the nursery and see how they are supporting both children. It is horrible when your child is getting harmed in this way.

Realistically it is very tricky managing these behaviours in SEN children as they often need one to one but nurseries aren’t given the funding to support this in the way schools are. The staff are likely to be doing what they can to reduce these kind of incidents but sometimes you can be beside a child and the child can bite without warning.

Depending on the hours the other child does, reducing their hours so they don’t get overwhelmed through the day can help, having sensory toys and biting rings and having quiet spaces for them to go to. The staff should be monitoring for any triggers.

Sometimes the children the biter is friendly with tends to get bitten more as it can often be a way of that child trying to play but not knowing how to. The staff at your nursery will be best able to advise on the situation between both children.

This is a really tricky one, no one wants a child to be hurt but realistically if there are 24 children in a room with 3 adults, it's not really possible to keep two apart or shadow one child.

Are both children attending full time? If not, could you swap your child's days so they spend less time together?

OP I’m quite relaxed about nursery incidents. My eldest was bitten by one of his besties quite a lot and it resulted in several phone calls home. I knew and liked his Mum. I also knew it was 6 of one and half a dozen of the other - my Son wasn’t innocent but wasn’t a biter. Your son is being targeted too frequently and I’d want to know what action they’re taking. I’m afraid a lack of funding or whatever for supervision of an SEN child is their problem as management - not your child’s.

I'm pretty relaxed about nursery incidents too. My DD (1) has been biting my DS (3) at home and it is so hard - I can be right next to them and still struggle to stop her. I'm terrified she's going to start biting at nursery, though the staff assure me she never has (DS said she tried once but the teacher didn't see). But I think what is important in your situation is that your son is worried - that is the priority here rather than the (thankfully so far) minor injuries. My DS doesn't care much about the biting. He helps me tell his sister to stop and then immediately plays with her again as if it never happened. If your son is finding this stressful and upsetting then it is more than a little accident at nursery. Nursery need to give a clear plan to stop this immediately or you must involve ofsted. The emotional impact on your son is an urgent priority. I have also tried to teach my DS some strategies to stop him getting bitten if little sister tries when a grown up isn't right there, like distracting her with a toy or going himself to get a grown up when she looks upset. They don't have SEN though so that might not help.

I’d not accept that. If they can’t deal with it adequately I’d find another nursery. When you find a good one you’ll see that issues such as this really aren’t typical. I can’t imagine it happening at the nursery I use.

DH took DS in on Monday and spoke to the room staff as well as the manager. They have all apologised and said that room routines will be addressed to (try and) prevent anything happening again.
DS has been there since he was 10 months old and will leave in July so I'm reluctant to withdraw him now.

I think far too many parents dont want to or feel they cant complain when their child is being hurt by a SEN child. There is absolutely no excuse for your child being assaulted. SEN might be a reason but it does not excuse this.
All children have the right to be safe and sadly that is not the case in nurseries and schools these days.
Make a complaint, in writing or email and keep a paper trail.

Actually, I think you are right in raising the issue, as your son should not be someone else´s punching bag, SEN or no SEN, it isn´t your child´s problem, it´s the nursery´s. My 8 month old got bitten on the eyelid, yep, and had it happened twice with the same kid, I would have been there speaking to the manager like lightning. Your duty is to your son, not not hurting someone else´s feelings.