12 month old struggling with nursery?

[KellyJellyfish]

My LO has just started nursery, today is her 2nd week, she’s there 2 days a week 11-4, she also had a couple of 3 hour settling in sessions.

I know it’s early days but she’s really struggling, she grips me so tight when I take her there and bursts into tears when I hand her over. When I collect her she’s red-faced from crying and is exhausted, nursery workers say she’s been sad and mostly cuddling all day.

She is eating well apparently, but she won’t nap, which is making her overtired and even more upset. I’ve sent her with comforts from home, dummy, blankie, sleeping bag etc. They have a dedicated room with cots for naps.

How long did it take your 1 year olds to settle? I feel awful every time I drop her off, she just seems so sad, she massively perks up in the evenings when I bring her home.

It takes a few weeks..which days are they? If she has a long break between the previous week then it'll be touch. It's often better to put them in more so it becomes part of the routine.

10 hours a week is going to take her a lot longer to get used to that say a child who does full time. Realistically some can take up to 3 months to settle.

I’m so sorry. I know from experience how hard it is.
We were advised to put DS in for three days to increase the time there, which was even more heartbreaking but it did help.

It took a few weeks for him to settle and be ok during the day, but - brace yourself - he’s 3.5 and only just stopped crying at drop off. They have 4 rooms in total so he moved a few times which didn’t help. I have been totally confident after the first few weeks though that he wasn’t upset during the day.

I think you are doing everything you can. I know it’s awful. It will pass she just has to get used to it.

She’s in Monday and Tuesday so yes quite a gap between.

Personally I wouldn't put a baby that age in nursery having been a nursery worker myself. If you need the child care consider a child minder perhaps? If you do continue with the nursery then it can take several months for a baby to properly settle, as a pp stated it's usually faster when they are doing more hours.

Why if you don’t mind me asking?

I did look into child minders but I’m from quite a small village and sadly there wasn’t anyone available

Prime separation anxiety age - upset is inevitable. Do you need the child care in order to work, or could you delay all this till she is a bit older?

My little one started at 13months. He had never been left in the care of anyone other than me or dad so we knew it would be tricky. He had a few 1 or 2 hour settling sessions which were awful as by the time.he calmed down I was collecting so he didn't get used to the idea of needing to let them comfort and take care of him. We saw an improvement when he did 2 short full days for two weeks followed by 3 days for a couple of weeks. At first he would only nap when held by them but after 4 weeks was napping on a bed. He didn't eat meals there for a bit longer and crying at drop off was an issue for about 6 weeks. After that first month or so he loved it and has been going happily, napping eating etc ever since. Dad does drop off which helps, I do pick up

I get babies to eat and sleep as part of my settling in visits over the month before they are due to go full hours (I'm a cm) so settling builds up from one hour to over a feed then over a sleep. They don't normally cry after the first few weeks and even then it's on drop off for a few minutes. I've never known a baby to cry for months

My friend had awful experiences with child minders who were all highly rated. Our nursery with low staff turnover and essentially a team of grannies was wonderful. Both my DC had the same key workers and still see them regularly now they're in school. It really depends on the child and the nursery so I don't think you can make blanket statements about the suitability of any childcare.