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Original poster

How long did your LO take to settle into nursery?

7 replies

WherestheOffButton · 13/01/2025 12:45

Hoping for some encouragement and sage advice from anyone that's been through this, or going through it currently! My DD started nursery this morning after settling-in sessions last week and I really worry I've done the wrong thing sending her there. They've put her straight into the toddler room as she's just turned 15 months and is quite big for her age.

At all the sessions, she's barely eaten any of the food they've served (she is a bit picky but she's refused things she'd usually eat at home) and she's hardly sleeping there, despite waking up at 6am at the moment. They're pushing for her to do 1 nap like the others but she's just exhausted, hungry and miserable when I pick her up.

The nursery says it all just takes time, which I'm sure it does, and she's apparently been about 50:50 with the crying vs playing. That just feels a lot, especially when she's not eating or sleeping! I hope I'm just being an overly anxious mum here 🙃

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SJM1988 · 13/01/2025 12:51

Is she going full time or part time? I found this made a different to how long mine took to settle.

DS took months - probably near on 6 months from his first session but he did 2-3 months of part time before full time.
DD took 1-2 months maybe. She went on hunger and sleep strike for the first few weeks (maybe about 3 weeks). Nothing but milk would pass her lips and she refused to nap at any costs. Once we got to week 4 she finally realised I think that it wasn't going to change.

I very vividly remember in those first few months them losing the plot when we got home as they were tired and hungry and didn't know what they wanted first.

Mine were younger at 12 months max when starting though.

Bimbley · 13/01/2025 13:28

DS started at 8 months and settled the minute they opened the door on his first day. DD on the other hand screams every time she goes in at the moment and is quite up and down all day. She's just turned 12 months and started a few weeks ago. Every time she goes seems to get a bit better tho and last week she ate everything they gave her but have the same issue with only having a tiny nap which just makes her more sad. They say she's starting to play a lot more tho and they are getting giggles and smiles

Sunshineclouds11 · 14/01/2025 11:46

We've just started at just under 1 year old.

Settling in sessions were hard, tears etc, this week is going better.

We also have food refusal and naps have gone to shit.

But, I know from my oldest this soon passes.
As annoying as the saying is, it literally does just take time.

One thing I'd probably say to them is though you want to get them get her to do 2 naps.
Even when my DS was in toddler room they had however many naps they needed/parents wanted.

Original poster
WherestheOffButton · 15/01/2025 12:24

SJM1988 · 13/01/2025 12:51

Is she going full time or part time? I found this made a different to how long mine took to settle.

DS took months - probably near on 6 months from his first session but he did 2-3 months of part time before full time.
DD took 1-2 months maybe. She went on hunger and sleep strike for the first few weeks (maybe about 3 weeks). Nothing but milk would pass her lips and she refused to nap at any costs. Once we got to week 4 she finally realised I think that it wasn't going to change.

I very vividly remember in those first few months them losing the plot when we got home as they were tired and hungry and didn't know what they wanted first.

Mine were younger at 12 months max when starting though.

We're starting her off on 3 days a week from about 9am-3.30pm then will extend the hours once I'm fully back at work (currently self-employed). That's helpful to know your DD took about 4 weeks for things to change. Was that with the eating too?

After chatting with friends, I thought putting her in a little later at 15 months would be easier but I think the attachment issues are so strong right now that younger might've been easier!

OP posts:
Original poster
WherestheOffButton · 15/01/2025 12:27

Bimbley · 13/01/2025 13:28

DS started at 8 months and settled the minute they opened the door on his first day. DD on the other hand screams every time she goes in at the moment and is quite up and down all day. She's just turned 12 months and started a few weeks ago. Every time she goes seems to get a bit better tho and last week she ate everything they gave her but have the same issue with only having a tiny nap which just makes her more sad. They say she's starting to play a lot more tho and they are getting giggles and smiles

Oh wow! Wish we had the same success as your DS! Glad things are improving slowly with your DD and that's positive she seems to be a bit happier now. I think we'll be in the same boat and she'll take a little while to fully settle. The nursery says to take it one day at a time but it's hard not to panic when they don't sleep and refuse all food! She just seems so relieved whenever we get home.

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Original poster
WherestheOffButton · 15/01/2025 12:34

Sunshineclouds11 · 14/01/2025 11:46

We've just started at just under 1 year old.

Settling in sessions were hard, tears etc, this week is going better.

We also have food refusal and naps have gone to shit.

But, I know from my oldest this soon passes.
As annoying as the saying is, it literally does just take time.

One thing I'd probably say to them is though you want to get them get her to do 2 naps.
Even when my DS was in toddler room they had however many naps they needed/parents wanted.

Thanks for this! Glad we're not the only ones going through it. A lot of my friends' kids seem to settle fairly easily (at least with the sleep and food) so it's hard not to compare.

How long did it take your oldest to settle?

The nursery have started asking about morning naps now and I'm making a point of letting them know what time she woke as her overnight sleep has been so disrupted! But getting her to sleep in the first place is a challenge so holding out for one might be easier!

OP posts:
Sunshineclouds11 · 15/01/2025 14:59

@WherestheOffButton Id say approx 7/8 weeks to be fully settled and running in.
It was easier weeks prior to this but he was still abit stand offish.

It's hard not to compare but you'll start to notice little differences as the weeks go on.

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