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3.5 yo seems to hate nursery, multiple accidents a day but potty trained at home

3 replies

Lalizziebeth · 24/12/2024 11:10

Hi all

I would really appreciate your advice on a difficult situation I'm having with my 3.5 year old.

She is a sensitive child particularly to noise and busy environments and has never seemed to settle into preschool room at her nursery despite being there for a year (was happier in the younger rooms)

They moved her up at worst possible time 3 days after her baby brother was born (despite me expressing concerns about this)

We potty trained her at home at 2 and struggled for a while to be dry at nursery but in the toddler room was dry once she was able to use the toilet herself.

Has had lots of problems with toileting in preschool room -on her last day before the Christmas holidays she had 4 accidents which wold never happen at home. When I speak to her about it she says there are no adults to help and she is scared of the toilet at nursery. I've raised this with nursery and they said they'd do 1:1 work around this but nothing has been done.

They have raised concerns she is behind in personal, social and emotional development. She doesn't play with other kids or make her feelings known. This is confusing as she attends a forest school one morning a week by herself and plays well with other kids, uses the toilet and often speaks about her feelings.

I'm not sure the environment challenges her in anyway. When her dad last picked her up all they could tell him was that she'd played with sand. There was 2 workers he didn't recognise.

She really struggles with change and I can't work out whether to pull her out and find another setting for her. I know a local childminder who seems to be more experienced, have a way with kids that my child wold respond better to. I wonder if a quieter environment would suit her. This would be difficult for my job as I would have to ask to change my days and my employer has previously been reluctant to do this.

Then of course she will be starting school in September. If I could turn back time I would have enrolled her in the local school nursery (I have emailed but suspect they don't have space now) but I thought it would be better to keep her and her brother at the same private day nursery.

If you have got this far thank you for reading ! Any advice would be appreciated !!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
stichguru · 24/12/2024 11:17

I'd move her as she doesn't seem to be happy or making progress. Check what childminders do the school run for her school though as most can only manage one school a day. You might find you had to move her again as she started school (unless you or her dad can take and pick up from school). If she's moved within the year and taken a while to settle, having to move to a new before and after school setting at the same time as starting school could be a nightmare.

Lalizziebeth · 24/12/2024 11:21

stichguru · 24/12/2024 11:17

I'd move her as she doesn't seem to be happy or making progress. Check what childminders do the school run for her school though as most can only manage one school a day. You might find you had to move her again as she started school (unless you or her dad can take and pick up from school). If she's moved within the year and taken a while to settle, having to move to a new before and after school setting at the same time as starting school could be a nightmare.

Thank you this is a really good point!

OP posts:
Starlightstarbright4 · 24/12/2024 13:06

I would move her tbh ..

does childminder do the school you are hoping to send your LO too . I was a c/minder for ten years school run places went to the children I had previously minded first .. I also did school holiday care for them so definitely worth looking into too.

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