Has anybody ever settled a baby into nursery without tears (baby, not mummy tears)?

[AlmostaYearNow]

DD is going to be 11 months.
Have had 4 settling in mornings in nursery so far where she had whimpered and cried when I've left room. Am finding it very hard as dd never cries (or, I never let her cry) and wonder if I was being naive to think that a 2 week settling in period would result in a no-cry nursery solution?

Nursery staff indicate to me that they all cry and it's normal. I feel like I'm training dd to accept nursery as one would train a dog. Are nursery staff right and I'm just a tad too emotional? Please, MNetters tell me what's what!

ah you need the hand-holding thread here

I had the oh-no-training-like-a-dog moment
and then I thought it is all very well doing attachment / instinctive / caveman parenting when they are tiny, but you cannot do it and go back to work. You just can't.

So training may be contrary to the spirit of what you've done so far, but unless you're up for eternal SAHM-dom you're going to do it.

DD did two weeks of wailing (including food/milk refusal, them having to come and fetch me from the car park etc), a week of three-minutes-of-tears, a week of mild-whimper and subsequently greeted the staff with smiles holding her arms out for a cuddle.

So long as you like and trust the staff, you'll get through it and, more importantly, so will they.

My DS did ok and didn't cry at all. He was 10 months. Now at 14 months he is starting to cry when DP drops me off at work (he then takes ds to nursery before going to work himself). This is hard as it is so don't know how I'd have coped if he'd cried during settling in days.

DD went to nursery when she was 6 months and cried the first time I left her, and then never again.

She asks EVERY morning if it's a nursery day.... (she's there 3 days)

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thanks MrsB. Glad you had the "oh-no-training-like-a-dog moment" as you so aptly put it, thought I was thinking too much and being too precious about it all.
Have joined the hand holding thread.

And thanks everyone else for sharing experiences. Just wondered why you think your dd didn't cry, milliec? any tricks you might want to impart or was it just luck?

I know how you feel. My DS never really cries much at home, I suppose because he has one to one attention and can always get what he needs. I hated the idea of him crying at nursery, knowing that however good they are there they can't always comfort him as quickly as I can because they're looking after several children. But I rationalised it by saying to myself if he was the youngest of 3 children he wouldn't get the attention he does but he'd be fine.

Anyway DS has been at nursery for nearly a month, 3 days a week, though has only done 2 proper weeks there as he was ill a lot at the beginning. He always cries when I hand him over and when he sees me in the evening. At first it bothered me a lot but I now feel a lot better as I can see he is just as happy as he's always been. He is generally settled, and I think he enjoys nursery. They tell me he has fun in the day, and he gives the staff big smiles in front of me. I'm realising it's natural for him to cry when I leave but it doesn't mean he's a traumatised child (which is what I had been worrying would happen)!

DS2 didn't cry at all when I left him. He was six months and only going one day a week.
DS1 was older (14 months) when he started nursery and he cried a lot at first because he was old enough to understand that mummy was leaving him.

I've just put my 8mo DS into nursery 2 days a week. He's done 8 sessions, and so far he has not cried at all - he looks very curious when I drop him off, and is happy and smiley when I collect him.

Actually, he cried when I picked him up on Wednesday as he didn't want to leave!

AlexanderPandasmum - how weird, my DS is called Alex and his nickname at nursery is Alex Panda! It's very cute

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