Nursery naps-baby only naps if I breasfeed her or if she's in the buggy

[hopperdee]

12mth old daughter had her first settling in day without me today. Only for 4 hours but she wouldn't sleep or eat at all. I always breastfeed her to sleep at night and she usually naps in buggy in the day. She takes formula in the day but will only nap if breastfed. Not sure how to advise the nursery. Think they tried to rock her and wheeled her about in the garden a bit but she wouldn't sleep at all and looked shattered when i came to pick her up. Just worried that she's going to end up there all day on without napping and will get herself really upset and tired. Will try and take some bits of food in that I know she likes for the eating prob.
Any tips? She's never been a baby that can just be 'put down' to sleep like some others.

Firstly, children, of any age, never sleep as well in nursery as they do at home - too much going on, so it will take her a while to find her rhythm there.
In terms of how you can help...I'd have to suggest a bit of tough loving I'm afraid. It's not good for either of you if you are the only one who can get her to sleep, and you have to b/f or have her in the buggy to do that.
Can you get someone else to start putting her down? She'll soon get bored with fighting it and give in and sleep.
Is she normally a fussy eater, or was today a first?
When does she start at nursery? How long will she be going for.

She'll only be there on Mondays. Her dad used to be able to rock her to sleep when she was little but he had to go away with work a lot and I just ended up breastfeeding her as it was the easiest thing if I was by myself. Now nobody else can get her down unless she goes for a buggy walk (or goes out in the car). This is what my mum does when she has her and she's the only person that's really looked after her before now.
Leaving her to cry isn't an option as she becomes hysterical and it's really not the right method for us.
She isn't a fussy eater, I think she just wasn't used to the new people looking after her.

DD was like this. I could NEVER put her down to sleep. I had a lot of 'just leave her to it' comments, particularly from one friend, it then turned out that leaving her daughter to cry consisted of a few pathetic 'uh-uh's then sleep. Her second child was a screamer, I think she understood a bit more where I was coming from.

Anyway - in the baby room (up to 15mo) she would sleep maximum 20 minutes per day. She would sometimes fall asleep on the way home (five minute walk) but sometimes not. She slept pretty well at night which seemed to make up for it.

From 15mo to 2.2years she was in the next room up, where at first she slept quite well (up to an hour a day) but towards the end got way too distracted by the other children and stopped sleeping altogether). She still napped 'at home', for which read 'in the car or buggy'. There was a brief period where I could get her from the car to her cot asleep, but mostly she would wake up soon after stopping moving.

At 2.2 she went up to the next room, which had no scheduled nap, but a quiet time during which many of the children would fall asleep, and they'd be shuffled off to one side to continue snoozing. This suited her so well - she would sleep consistently for 1.5 to 2 hours each day. But not at home - I tried having a quiet time at home and she'd just wander off! Then at about 2.6 she started to play up at bedtime, so we asked them to limit the nap to an hour, and she continued with that until she more or less stopped dropping off during quiet time.

Erm, that was a bit long. But in short - we got by, she wasn't unbearable in the evenings when short of sleep, it didn't seem to adversely affect her nighttime sleep if she didn't nap well, and she DID have periods when she slept better at nursery than at home. AND the nursery didn't expel her (I really worried before she started that they just wouldn't be able to cope with her and I'd have to take her out and give up work). She's been there since 6mo BTW, three consecutive days a week.

Oh, and I found the advantage of a baby/child like that is that, unlike many mums, you don't mourn the passing of the nap, because you never got any free time to yourself anyway.

My Ds has just started nursery 2 days a week he is 8.5 months. We too have the problem with napping at nursery at home he has 3 naps totalling 2.5 hrs but nursery lucky if he gets an hr. They say he fights it all the time, they have left him to cry but doesn't cry for long as he is sooo tired. But because he is so tired doesn't sleep for long either. It is something they will just have to get used to, learning to sleep in that environment. It can only get better with time and repitition. My ds takes the next day after nurery to get over it!

Give it time - on her first day in a new enviroment at 12 months she did pretty well.
The staff will be used to finding ways of getting them to nap, and it can be quite different to at home.

Personally, I wouldn't start taking food in for her from home - she'll settle into eating their food very quickly. They always want to be like the other children !

Hi, my DS (11 mo) has just started nursery. He is a 'screamer' and like yours he is used to being breastfed to sleep at home. When he was tiny he would let us rock him to sleep but for months now he has only been breastfed to sleep - basically it was either that or have no sleep at all during the day. No chance of putting him into his cot and letting him drift off! He won't sleep in his buggy anymore, but will drop off in the car if he is tired (sometimes he just screams though).

Anyway....nearly every day he has been there the nursery have managed to get him off to sleep. I have no idea how they have managed to do it! They have mentioned lying down with him and rubbing his back and it seems to work. He slept for an hour today at lunchtime (having had an hour at home in the morning) and had 2 hours the day before, which is really good for him.

My DS is also not a very good eater and I was worried he would not eat anything at nursery. I give them some snacks (as healthy as I can think of) which they use to keep him going. They try him every day with their own food as well and today he did eat some tea and a pudding as well as some of the food I left with them.

Although I haven't got any real tips I just wanted to reassure you that there are plenty of other babies like ours and the nursery staff are used to dealing with them. As your DS gets used to the staff and the routine at the nursery hopefully things will get better. Good luck!

ds was also like this, he went to childminder aged 13m. i remember her ringing me and saying he won't stop screaming when trying to get him to sleep on settling-in day. she very soon found a way of getting him to sleep, i think she sort of pats and strokes him for a few mins. i carried on with bf to sleep for naps (not at night though) until now, he is nearly 3 and is starting to not have them.

Thanks for the comments. It is early days I guess so I'll have to wait and see how she gets on. She hardly cries at home as we've got the routine of walks for naps, breastfeed at night/if she hurts herself etc. so she's usually pretty content. It's just a very different environment with all the other children and trying to get her to sleep in other ways. I guess it's harder for a baby to drift off/relax with a stranger too. I think there are so many cues from your own baby that you know how to respond to and it takes more time for new people to get used to them. Anyway, fingers crossed.