Looking for help on how to deal with toddler's claim of "strap chair"

[Shkbop91]

Long one, thanks for reading.
Looking for help on next steps. Background is that DS1 is almost 2 1/2. He has been in the same nursery since 12 months of age.
He has challenging behaviour, such as physical kicking/hitting/biting. He can be very defiant and impulsive. He struggles to follow directions and to sit still or partake in group activities. He has advanced speech for his age and can be very smart and very loving. He likes to do a lot of running/physical stuff rather than be entertained by tough trays etc.
He has had a lot of change in the last 6 months (DS2, family conflict etc.) But the challenging behaviour really started at around 18 months, prior to big life changes.
I struggle to deal with his behaviour as it can be quite impulsive. He is not phased by removal of toys/activities, timeouts, removal from play, positive re-enforcement he seems to understand and will repeat back (such as no throwing, gentle hands) but will continue to do the negative action immediately afterwards.
I have two Health Visitors involved and they are coming to see us every few weeks to observe his behaviour and are planning to visit his nursery.

At the end of last week I was talking to him on the car ride back from nursery. It went something like:

Me: Did you have a good day in nursery today?
DS: Yes
M: What did you do?
DS: I played with blocks and played with slide.
M: That sounds fun! You love slides don't you.
DS: Yes. I pushed X.
M: Why did you push X? That's not a nice thing to do!
DS: Because X said there was no room. No room on the slide.
M: You shouldn't push if that happens. You should wait your turn. That's not a nice thing to do. I bet that hurt X. You don't want to hurt your friends, they might not want to play with you.
DS: No, they might not play with me.
M: Did Y (nursery staff) tell you it was not OK to push?
DS: Yes, Y said NO! and I go in the chair.
M: What chair?
DS: By Y's with straps on. I have to sit in chair with straps on.
M: Did you have to sit in the chair for a long time
DS: Yes, because I was naughty.

I was a bit taken a back from this. I have discussions with nursery quite frequently and know that they struggle also with his behaviour. However, I am worried about DS's admission on this chair.
I asked a member of staff on drop off today about it. I told them he had mentioned being strapped in a chair when naughty. The nursery staff member said there was a chair with straps but that they use it for when children are watching the television or if they are eating.
I'm not sure where to go from here. DS comes out with some wild things sometimes but I'm a little worried. Any advice on next steps please?

Was he clear if he was fastened into the chair or maybe just told to sit in the chair as a kind of time out?

This isn't relevant to the question, but can you get an OT referral or stretch to private?

Anyway, it's clear he sits in a strap chair. What's not clear is if he is strapped in it and how long 'a long time' is.

I would ask to see the chair and ask how they do time outs - so does he have an egg timer going so he can see how long is left etc.

@Newuser75 no, I don't think he said he was strapped in. I think I might have wrongly assumed by him saying sit in chair with straps on. Probably a good thing to clarify, I'll ask him indirectly when he comes back this evening.

So presumably if he’s not strapped in the only problem is that they did not tell you there had been a time out. As he’s under a pre schooler age, it would seem logical you’d be told about any incidents

I know the chairs you mean, DS’s nursery had them for meals in the baby room. They’re obviously giving him time outs for bad behaviour, that’s not uncommon either. I think what you need to clarify is whether he’s strapped into the chair, or he’s just sat on it for his time out because it’s free and they’re not using the straps. If he has good speech then ask him, and then depending on what he says I would also ask nursery. Also, I’d want to know how nursery manage time outs so would ask them- if they give warnings, how long for, does he have a timer etc. If nothing else it would he useful info for the HVs you’re working with.

I don't think the straps are necessarily the issue - I assume they're talking about some sort of high chair? And the straps could be for safety rather than he's being restrained as a punishment.

I'd be more interested in how it's used, how long for etc. eg do they just say "right you've been naughty" and plonk him in the chair for a while because it's easier. Our nursery don't do time outs as such, but if a child needs to be removed from a situation they will be. But they aren't just put in a chair.
He did say it was "by Y's chair" so it may have been a sort of "ok, you and me are going to go and sit over there for a bit because we can't have pushing". Which would be different to him being put in a chair and left because it's easier.

Speak to Y about the incident and see what she says.

If a child is violent to other children, especially if it's something dangerous like pushing a child off the slide, then they do need to be removed from the situation.

I would have done exactly the same - removed the child and sat them out with me.

I'd be more concerned about the use of the strap chair when they're watching television tbh!

Speak to the nursery again if you're concerned, but I don't think a child being sat in a chair, next to a member of staff, is particularly a problem whether they're strapped in or not.

Thanks all, think I've jumped the gun a bit and gone down the route of thinking he's being restrained in the chair which you've rightly pointed out to me that I haven't clarified. I'll try and indirectly ask him and speak to Y or another nursery member and ask them a little more about the chair. I know that they have placed him in time outs before, where they've isolated him off from a group activity or removed his outside time due to his behaviour. They try to correct his behaviour, same as myself with reminding him of the correct actions but he will immediately replicate the good behaviour and then revert back to the bad behaviour and find it funny.

I totally agree with you @qualifiedazure he needs to be removed when he turns physical to prevent harm to the other children. We do the same at home. Hopefully this is just a time out chair.

@Frowningprovidence I am hoping that the involvement of multiple health visitors might result in referral to OT.

I agree, there should be no TV really at that age and definitely not while in paid childcare! Let alone strapping them in so that they don’t even have a choice whether or not they want to watch TV.