ds came home with bad bite mark, not mentioned by nursery - what to do?

[LiegeAndLief]

When getting ds undressed for the bath on Friday I found he had a really heavy red/ purple bruise on his upper arm (would have been through two layers of clothing) that looked like a bite mark. No accident etc mentioned by nursery although they did say that he kept waking up from his nap crying and they couldn't work out why - judging from the bruise it must have really hurt possibly was keeping him awake.

I understand that the staff can't watch all the children all the time, toddlers do bite and hit and they must miss stuff like this, and am very happy with the nursery, but am feeling a bit emotional about it as it is such a bad bruise so am wondering whether to say anything and if so what... what would you do?

I would initially approach the nursery - probably ds's keyworker or the senior person in his room at first and mention it but in quite a low key and friendly way.

e.g. "we noticed this bruise" - show it to them - "can't quite work out how it might have happened at home. Is is possible that there was an accident/incident with one of the other little ones?" If they did suspect it they may well "come clean" at this point.

I think you may have to accept that it could have happened unobserved and is just one of those things. Of course you are upset by it - I would be too. But if you are otherwise happy with the nursery then you may just have to let it go on this occasion.

This happened to my ds.

I told the nursery teacher next day that he had a bite mark. She knew exactly which child it was when I told her. She said my ds had said "no" in a very loud voice to the biter and then burst into tears. When she tried to question my ds about why he was crying, he couldn't/wouldn't tell her. Tbh, my ds has never been a biter and I was concerned he would think it was ok and try to bite someone.

I left it in the hands of the teacher and it hasn't happened again.

Speak to the teacher in the morning and see what she says.

Thanks both for your advice. Ds isn't in nursery again until Wednesday so I'll mention it then. I do accept I may have to put it down to one of those things - I'm sure ds could be bitten at toddler group or somewhere under my supervision as well - just find it upsetting to think of him being hurt and no one noticing!

you should inform them that he had teh bite mark.
if they did not know it happened then they will know to keep a better eye out for the biter.

if they did you can then tell them how disapointed you are at not being informed.

This happened to DS. He showed me the bite over lunch and told me who had done it.
I mentioned it at the next session and they had written it down, were aware the child was a biter but simply not remembered to tell me when I picked him up.