Right to be worried or over reacting?

[Seevee]

Hi,

My 1 year old started nursery a month ago now and I've noticed him crying so much more at home to communicate and he cries every day and reaches out when I drop him off.
I haven't had much in the way of communication from the nursery aside from accident reports and to pick him up early due to feeling unwell. No pictures or settling in updates.
He has also developed specific tendencies too such as crying dramatically when i put him down to change his nappy which he never did before.
He comes out of nursery like he's on deaths door....extremely tired and filthy. You would think they could give his mouth a wipe after a meal?
He is also gasping for a drink every time I pick him up.
Also, during the induction I was shown an entirely different room to the one that he is whisked off to and so I have no idea what he's doing and where he is all day?
I don't know if it's me over fussing but there is just something in my gut that is saying he is unhappy. I'm just unsure whether it's the new routine or if he is just left to his own devices all day and not given much attention or comfort and it's masked as 'baby lead play'. He is only one and so it just bothers me he can't tell me and I'm missing any vital signs.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Out of interest, how many days a week is he going? This can have a big impact on how well they settle in.

That aside though, no it's definitely not ok that your DC is thirsty and has a grubby face when you collect him. It indicates a lack of care that I wouldn't be happy with.

Regarding the increased crying, there'd be a niggle in my mind that maybe nappy changes aren't being done kindly at nursery if he has developed a negative association with it. Having said that, as toddlers become more mobile they are more likely to be frustrated at being made to lie down.

In your shoes I would try a new setting. I moved my DD to a different nursery and it made the world of difference to her happiness there.

Thanks so much for your reply. Atleast I now feel I'm not entirely mad! He is going 3 days a week so definitely bound to be an adjustment, but the week is broken up with grandparents looking after him and he seems so much more comfortable and content. However I suppose he is bound to be as it's 1 on 1 love and attention!

Yes I don't think we can kid ourselves that a child can be as settled in childcare as with family but there are lots of positives with nursery so don't feel too downhearted about it.

Three days a week is a good proportion of the week actually. One of the mistakes I made with my DD is that she started off on 1.5 days which wasn't enough time for her to settle into the place. If I had my time again I'd a) have moved her sooner once I clocked that nursery no. 1 wasn't a good fit and b) she would have gone for 3 days a week from the outset (which is what we did after we moved to the new nursery).

A good nursery can be a positive nurturing environment so don't write them all off just yet.