How did your COVID born child react to school nursery?

[Nurserymum2]

I'm just looking for comparison of how your COVID born 3 and 4 year olds are settling at school nursery or reception years? Particularly whether they have been in formal childcare before or not?

I am finding it really distressing to make our child attend school nursery as she is so upset at going but at the same time, she is finally well enough to mix with other children and it won't be long until school starts.

Our four year old recently started school nursery, which is full time hours 8.30-3.00. The nursery are working with us to support her in settling and we are on week three now.

The parent supported sessions were fine but they were incredibly distressed to the point of vomiting at home and on arrival for several days, and then multiple days of crying on drop off and now still doesn't want to go but has mostly stopped crying when dropped off. The nursery staff have been amazing and are working with us to suggest options to support her, distract her, and she does seem to enjoy the activities and eat her lunch etc. She is still doing half days as she was getting very distressed again in the afternoon. We are having a slightly better week this time and hopefully if that continues will increase a half hour at a time next week.

For context, they were born in the middle of the 2020 lockdowns and diagnosed when weeks old with a significant health condition which has meant a lot of hospital appointments and admissions. Because of the condition they are periodically immune compromised. The vaccine schedule was also very delayed due to illness at the advice of her hospital consultants, and has only just been brought up to date over the summer.

A lot of the usual baby swimming and toddler classes were closed for COVID and then we were advised at various points to limit exposure to groups of people where possible as attempts to attend toddler classes both led to a week in hospital with secondary infections.

We have been playing with a couple of other families with children semi regularly, and prioritising outdoor parks and activities with other children which are safer, but certainly not mixing as much or in the way we planned.

Lost of the other children who started with her had already been in formal childcare so settled really quickly in comparison.

I'm just looking for your experiences of your children starting this type of setting? And anything you found that helped them specifically?

I would suggest this has more to do with health condition, lack of previous childcare experience, and in some part personality rather than covid lockdown at the time of their birth.

I've childminded before, during and aftet this period and aside from the short period of time during lockdown when settling in children was harder, none have gone on to have further issues with school or nursery starting.

I have an older child. I have one that just started at school nursery. There’s no difference that I can see. The kids that have been in childcare regularly before tend to settle quickly. The ones that have been at home with a parent or looked after by 1 caregiver eg grandparent or nanny struggle more because it’s a totally new environment for them. Give it time and don’t overthink it, I don’t think whether or not you could do baby swim because of covid is massively relevant .

My dd just started reception and no issues at all neither are the other children in her class although 2-3 cried going in.

I agree with previous poster, the children that are used to childcare will settle faster and easier. My dd was born end of Feb 2020 so full lockdown for most of her baby life. My dd went to full time nursery since 1.

Thanks so much for replying. I was just looking for some comparisons.

It does seem to be getting gradually better now but out of 30 odd children in her nursery, I think only one other had not been in childcare before and most of the you very children who started with her settled much faster.

We probably have been overcautious which is not helping now with starting nursery. One set of grandparents doesn't believe she's unwell, so kept taking her to places like soft play whenever they had her, and we couldn't understand for ages why she was always ill really quickly after she had an afternoon with them but was generally fine with other family she visited. It took ages before we found out by accident because someone we know mentioned seeing them.

2023 was the first winter we've had less than 6 weeks in hospital. She can be fine and then be getting admitted to hospital 3 hours later. Any temperature over 38 means a hospital trip for tests and 75% if the time it leads to another admission with O2 and IV antibiotics and chest x-rays. Any cold is likely to turn into a chest infection or pneumonia so we always have to be so careful and up to a week in hospital each time in a isolation room, which is miserable for her.

We're really hopeful this winter will be better again as her consultant has her on additional medication including maintenance antibiotics 3 x per week which seems to be helping, and she was finally well enough to get the last of her vaccines over the summer, including both doses of MMR and varicella. The lack of vaccines was a big part for why the consultant suggested avoiding childcare until she was able to have those.

I just feel so awful seeing her struggling now, like we haven't prepared her well enough. Not helped hugely by the same family members who don't believe she's got an illness saying repeatedly that it's our fault for not socialising her properly, and that she would have developed an immunity to things if she'd been exposed.

I'm confused after you say all this, why you think Covid lockdowns might be to blame?

What have covid got to do with it? And are people still going to be asking these types of questions in 50 year's?

Mines been going to nursery since 1 and she's managed fine, even from the . Its probably more as they haven't been in child care j til now rather than it being a lock down baby. Lock down finished a long time ago now. Some do just find it harder getting used to it but I'd carry on taking them as they will need to go to school when it comes round so good to get them used to it now.

You’ve described exactly the reasons she is now struggling with a childcare setting (her own health issues) so I don’t understand why you are asking about those born during Covid lockdowns (a long time ago and children have had plenty of time to socialise and be in settings since, putting aside those who cannot for other reasons). She will be fine - just keep persevering with it.

My grandchild was born Feb 2020. They started nursery at one and have just started school. Lockdown has had no impact on either of these.

No impact. He’s 4 now, born in first lockdown. But he’s been at nursery since September after he was 2.