To be upset DD goes to Nursery rather than Grandparents

[humble12]

Jusy that really.
We have a DD who is now 21 months and started nursery at 11 months 2 weeks for 2 full days. DH and I both work in hospital based jobs. DH husband passed away, My mum still works and financially wants to continue. We also live in a different city. So our DD ended up going to nursery.
My sister has also had a DD now who is 9 months and she is now going to work. But her husbands parents are retired and will be doing childcare.

I feel sad my DD has to go through nursery, get the coughs and cold. has gotten a small molluscum spot whicH I feel she probably for it from there. Got scratched once at nursery. Feel like my poor baby couldn’t get as good childcare as her cousin.

Been feeling incredibly guilty and crying. Anybody as ever had any similar experience?

What do you mean when you say "DH husband passed away". Do you mean your mother is a widow? If so, she's a widow who has to work financially. She's also on her own and working her socks off unlike your sister's retired in laws. If I was you I would have a bit more sympathy with your poor mum instead of ruminating about the free childcare she could've given you in a perfect world.

I'd say that nursery is much better childcare than grandparents.

Nah DD had a really enriching experience at nursery, she loved it, being around other children as an only was also really important for her,

It's only 2 d per week !? 🙄

Sorry typo
My mum and dad are both well and fine.
My DH mum passed away some time ago unfortunately
Im not at all expecting or demanding my mother to do childcare and thank fully she is in a lovely relationship with my very much well and healthy dad!

It depends on the grandparents - loving, active, involve and nurturing grandparents far better than a nursery.

Agree. I’ve seen loads taking toddlers on school runs which really puts me off. Pay for all day and the kid spends an hour morning and night in a buggy waiting at schools to pick up.

Like most people we have no choice but to use paid childcare and chose a nursery.
For all its positives:

• large variety of food
• lots of different rooms, toys and equipment to explore. This is changed regularly
• daily messy play, water play, crafts and opportunities to bake
• socialising with other children
• The opportunity to learn in a fun way. My child starting recognising letters from age 2.5 which did not come from home

Add in the fact they are reliable, happy to take our instruction about food and naps and they are professionally trained. What’s not to love?

Obviously this is setting dependent

Feed and bath at your parents. They fall asleep in the car and you carry into bed no evening battle.

Depends on the grandparents! Plus age of child, how long they are at nursery for and the nursery itself. A nursery setting isn't good for babies, but a 2 yo will probably enjoy it

It's really interesting reading these comments. I'm a grandparent who does part time care. Personally, I think that once they get over 2, they can benefit from a nursery setting. I like one to one care prior to that. But hey! Do what you think is best. Depends on health and age of grandparent, but I will admit to finding it difficult now that I'm older. (Please don't do the grannies down though, we don't put tv on !)

No problem with using nurseries if that suits you. However, please don't generalise over grandparents- my grandchildren were always encouraged to do messy play, painting, baking etc. I took them to toddler groups and out for walks. I do get tired of people putting grandparents (and particularly MILs ) down all the time. As it happens, I am actually a qualified playworker!

I’ve seen plenty of grandparents with Dc in the park who should not be doing childcare. Some were clearly not able to run after a toddler at all. I saw one near miss when a stranger had to grab a child from running straight into the road at the park exit.

In my experience there can be issues with use (or lack of) car seats, and hot drinks being left on low tables.

Yes, Dc can get scratched and bitten at nursery- but my two loved it, and there were so many activities that there is no way I would have done - giant art work, incredibly messy play, fabulous dressing up and role play equipment etc. They can cope well with whole days at school compared to those whose parents said they were shattered by 3. And they get the bugs out of the way before school. It worked well for us - so stop feeling guilty!!

This and grandparents can still see your DC at some weekends.