DS has adult thumbprint on his arm

[MrShev]

Today, after coming home from nursery, our DS (nearly 2) has a large thumbprint (or what we believe it to be...) on his lower arm. It seems to resemble a mark left by an adult holding his arm tightly.

My wife and I have discussed whether or not either of us could have caused this in the time between nursery and bathtime and we are sure that we haven't.

The nursery that he attends is, essentially, brilliant (both based upon experience, other parents reports and OFSTED)and we have never worried about his time there, but today...

Anyway, we are unsure of what to do. I think we should wait and see if this mark develops into a bruise and then see the manager of the nursery...and what?

We don't want our son to be anywhere abusive but - it's our word against theirs at the end of the day, isn't it?

Doesn't have to be malicious - a good hard geab and yank to save him from an accident perhaps? And I doubt if they tell you about "near misses" - just the real accidents.

But ask if you are concerned - leave any accusations until you've heard the explanantion from the people who were in his room yesterday - not just the manager!

Hope it's nothing sinister.

I don't think it's easy to tell a thumb print from a table knock or any other sort of bump is it?

Presumably you have asked him? Sore arm etc?

Agree with gagarin, there are so many possible innocent explanations for this. Don't leap to conclusions, ask the nursery tomorrow.

ds occasionally gets one of these and I am sure that no-one is being overly rough or mean to him

I am of the opinion if dp and I can do this accidentally without knowing that we have done it (it is undoubtedly one of us) then these things can happen without anything sinister being afoot

however I would keep an eye on things - does he seem happy being left at nursery? happy in other ways?

(I know exactly what you mean about being able to tell it is a fingerprint bruise btw)

We have asked him if he hurt his arm, but he just happily spouted every name of every person he knows, including toys...so that was no help.

The point is we don't want to jump to conclusions because he does seem really happy there and we don't want to accuse them of something they haven't done.

There could also be a completely innocent explanation or they might have been retraining him because he was going to do something or go somewhere to harm himself.

ds1 is covered in thumb mark type bruises all the time- mainly because he is a danger to himself (9, severely autistic) and we have to grab him. We give him a lot of them, but I couldn't tell you when. I suspect school contribute some more.

It's quite easily done. School sometimes mention ones donated by them (to cover themselves I think) but it's sometimes hard to notice.

His worse ones were when he was 5 from dh lifting him repeatedly onto his shoulders (an obsession for a time). They were on his ribs chest.

Think you need to just ask the staff if anything happened yesterday. For what its worth children come into nurseries all the time with odd marks and as a nursery nurse you have to assess this along with other signs that something might be wrong - change in behaviour etc. I know its completely different as its the other way around but just wanted to say that if thats the only indicator i wouldn't be overly concerned. The nursery would much rather you asked them about it than be worried.

thank you for all your sensible advice.

After sleeping on it, we feel a little less emotional about it and the mark seems to have disappeared so we are just going to assume that they merely restrained him from doing something dangerous and just keep an eye on him when he comes back from nursery in the future.

Again, thank you.
m

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