Hi I’m looking for some advice on my daughter. I feel like I’m going round in circles and keep asking the same questions but I’m unsure what to do for the best. I want her to be ready to go to school and not feel anxious there and help support her by keeping her in Nursery so she can build up that resilience, but at the same time I don’t want to keep her somewhere that she’s not happy. My daughter is 3 1/2 years old. She has been Nursery for the last year and a half. She started off well Nursery and enjoyed going just before Christmas, quite a few things happened with a little boy And a few other things that were missed by the Nursery staff where someone had pushed or taken something off het or not saying things nice etc that upset my daughter but the problem is my daughter is holding what is happening in and how she feels and doesn’t cry at Nursery or tell staff when something happens but just lets children miss treat her and take things off her, won’t tell Nursery what is wrong so stopped wanting to go to Nursery. after figuring all this out and speaking with staff, we managed to put some things in place to help her, however my daughter still does not want to go to Nursery. And I don’t no what’s best to do . I worry that the same things may happen with other children at nursery or at school and she may still hold it in and not be able to tell them no or tell them that she is hair tan on something or or something like that staff encouraged to tell other children know when they do something that’s not nice but she does still keep a lot of it into herself and seems to mask a lot of Nursery and they don’t know when she’s not happy but when she comes home, she tells me about things that have happened or she is act differently to how she normally doesshe Nursery she absolutely fine when she take her and she’s not playing with other children but again I do think she has mask and holding it in and not showing Nursery what is actually wrong or how she is feeling It’s a really difficult situation as I don’t know what to do for the best as I said Nursery are trying to do things to help support him. I’m not sure if they should be doing more or if it’s just that sort of the way she is that Nursery but I am hoping that if she stays at Nursery she will start to learn some resilience and learn how to handle situations like this where other children may do something that upsets her or makes her feel certain way and be able to tell them know and stand up for herself or tell staff if she needs help, she’s a very very sweet girl. She’s quite sensitive but she is so kind to everybody and she wants to play with everybody and she wants to be nice to everybody and she’s never ever done anything to any child at Nursery but quite a few children I’ve done things that upset and she struggles to let that go so at home she will obsess over that child and what they have done she only attends for two full days a week and 1/2 day of three hours my eldest child is disabled so I am at home. I don’t know whether it’s to keep her off Nursery and just don’t send her until she’s older. She doesn’t start school until the month before she turns five but in 10 I do not want her to then not be prepared for school and not I’ve been supported in situations that I’m not there in with other children, not know how to handle it at school or alternatively put her in another nursery but she would have to get used to the nursery children there and the staff there and a whole new environments and if the same things happen in that nursery we may still be back to square one I’m not sure I want to be happy and she is happy Nursery I’m not sure that she really is as she’s holding it until she gets home. It does affect her behaviour at home. She’s very very well-behaved and such a nice pleasant child to be around when she’s been to Nursery because she’s holding in all day, she gets very sensitive and temperamental. The smallest thing well looks at her and it is difficult to get her out of that one. She starts having a meltdown, she also went at Nursery and before the day before Nursery wakes up in the night screaming and shouting for me but for example she just had 11 days off nursery holidays and she has slept through every single night even in a different environment as we went to a caravan slept through the night with no issues. She was also her usual happy and bubbly self and any time we were out maybe she was playing on a slides and another child. I just redirected her and explained what she needed to do and she was absolutely fine to do that and was not upset and was able to handle these situations herself while there because she had support from myself with what to do she was really happy through the holidays and her usual self but when she then last night waiting to go to Nursery she then woke up in the night screaming. She then also spent all this morning as she was only in for half day today all this morning worrying about going to Nursery and obsessing over Nursery and a certain child that is upset in the past even though supposedly you don’t play together now, I can’t decide whether Nursery is solution or whether putting her in a new Nursery is worth giving a try or whether that will unsat even further or whether taking her out of nursery completely and just keeping her at home with Me until she goes to school or maybe for six months and then take her in a new nursery at the school or something for six months the nursery she attends takes children from 9 months to 5 years a small nursery or around 15 children, more staff there than the would be at another nursery. So am not sure of moving to another nursery would be harder for her as more children less staff. But you can see how zoned out she is sometimes when she’s there or after she’s been there she’ll be processing it for a long time afterwards and it affects her at home. It affects how she is it affects how she sleeps where is in the holidays? She just a happy bubbly self and sleeps well, I really don’t know what to do for the best and feel like I keep asking these questions but still can’t figure out the best solution for her. I don’t want her to go to school and not know how to handle the situation and being at now she may help her overcome these anxieties and situations but I also don’t want to make her anxiety worse by making a go to an Nursery if she doesn’t want to be there but then also in the same hand I’m not sure whether it’s right to change an airy in case she ends up in the same situation there if not worse because there’s more children and less staff . When I drop her off, she is telling me not to leave her and crying for me and I have to leave her crying saying she does not want to be there and very upset. It’s really difficult to leave her in that state but staff says she calms down straight away and is fine after that, but obviously she’s masking and holding in when she’s there all the feelings that she’s feeling I do not know what is best to do, before going to Nursery, she kept telling me I don’t like Nursery. I don’t want to go to Nursery. I wanna stay with you mummy and when I explained that she has to go to Nursery and it’s okay and the staff will look after her and she will have lots of fun she kept saying but I want you mummy I want to stay with you. She got very upset when I left her. Think that she’ll be developing John in separation anxiety so I have to leave here at the door and try and make it short when I when I leave at Nursery which I’m willing to do and have been doing but I just worry that she’s not feeling herself there she’s anxious she doesn’t like it and I’m just leaving her somewhere she doesn’t want to be, but I’m not sure if this will get better in a different setting or whether to just keep her at home.