Working mum guilt

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Hi folks

DD is 8 months old, I'm coming to the end of my mat leave and am due to go back to work in about a month. I'll be going to a new workplace as my old work couldn't offer flexible working which would have meant working late nights and weekends.

Financially, I need to go back full time, maternity leave has taken a hit on our savings and the nursery works out more cost effective to go full time even if we don't use all the hours. I'll be dropping off at around 8:15am and picking up around about 6pm. However her dads work is job till finish so he will be able to collect her earlier on some days, around 4-5pm and maybe also do a later drop off some days around 9-10am. I've been practicing leaving her for a few hours with friends and family and she is getting more used to being away from me.

Can any mums that have put their bubbas in full time give any insight into how it went for them? Any advice would be very welcome, I just feel so sad that my mat leave is ending soon and we won't have all this time together.

On a positive your child will learn so much in nursery and have good social skills . Negative is when they first start i have always found they are quite sick for first few weeks. Hope all goes well for you

My daughter has been full time since 9mo but we did similar to you where we picked up often at 4/5pm. The guilt before I went back to work was awful, but once she’d settled and we’d got into a routine it was fine. She thrives at nursery and is now almost 3, so confident and learnt so so much from being there.

Also I’d barely left her with anyone even she went to nursery but she settled fully in about 2 weeks. It’s normal to be nervous but you will both be fine 💐

My son took to nursery straight away at 11months. It went really well generally but I found once he turned 2 I should have shortened his hours- as he was doing 10 hours a day in nursery and looking back on it that was really too overwhelming for him.
I don't want you to feel guilty but I do want to be honest that 10 hours a day in an environment where kids are constantly shouting or crying cannot be good for anyone's nervous system!... Now he is 3.5 and I have him in for regular school hours and he much prefers it.

Really depends on the child. My friends daughter struggled with nursery but thrived at child minder & another used a ft nanny,

Ive had two daughters both been to nursery (first one ft from 12 months and the second ft from 18 months) Eldest is now 21 & about to finish uni - we have a close relationship and knows that we will always put the girls first. Both girls close to dad too as we have both shared the parenting - sick days, school pick ups etc.
By going back FT and using nursery meant I could reduce my hours when they started school and worked between 26-30 hours. I’ve recently gone back FT - wish I could have stayed at around 30 hours but pension & COL means I’ve had to. But going mortgage rates sort themselves out and I can go back to 4 days a week. My husband would like to do that too!

My children went to nursery/preschool from 10 months on while I went back to work full time. They both loved it, settled in well, first week is the hardest when they see you arrive, they realise you had left them but eventually they realise you'll always be back.

I have found that nursery has definitely helped my children with routine, eating habits, social skills and the transition into school was a lot easier.

They do however get sick quite a bit in the first year. Spending lots of time with other children can mean picking up lots of germs making it tough to look after them while WFH.

I also think age 2 at preschool can be very overwhelming, lots of terrible 2ers over stimulating one another but again the phases of childhood will be experienced within preschool.

I get mum guilt all the time but preschool was a good decision for us.

They can be unsettled initily until they build a bond with the staff but once they have got to know everyone they are usually happy to come in and play.

Their home routine for naps may change at nursery even if staff try to stick to it simply because it's a different environment.