How important is nursery later on in life

[Wallaroo21]

How important do you think nursery is for later on in life? Our dd1 doesn't get the funded hours until September 2025 we're planning on sending her 2 mornings a week in September 2024 when she will be 2.5

My dh is worried that the later start to nursery will impact her later on in life in her drive and confidence. The other girls from our NCT class all attend nursery and in comparison our dd1 is more reserved and shy. She is happy and loves playing with her cousins and friends she regularly sees but does take a little while to warm up. We recently went on holiday and she was playing with children her own age happily but does get upset if she loses sight of us and wouldn't stay in the kids club without us.

I know that I need to attend more baby classes to help her socialising and also for her to spend more time away from me, just with dh alone as she is a bit to attached to me. We used to regularly attend classes and then we had ds1 7 months ago and stopped going so regularly. Now it is much nicer and weather and easier with his feeds and naps I aim to go out more again.

Basically is she at a disadvantage for not attending nursery and instead being home with us full time?

None of my DC went to nursery until they got 15 hours the term after they turned 3.

my 3rd didn’t even go to playgroups etc as we lived remotely abroad where they didn’t exist. He’s my most sociable outgoing child!

Nah. Some kids are just more introverted naturally anyway. Both mine went to nursery and they're completely different personalities but were like that even as small babies before they'd started nursery. DC1 introvert and DC2 extrovert. I don't think nursery has made any difference to either of them in that respect.

DC1 has got more confident as they've gotten older but I don't think that's because they went to nursery.

I was a SAHM when my DC were little and they all started between 2.5 and 3yo. That was absolutely fine - I think it's a good age to start.

None of mine went to nursery until school attached at 4, and my eldest about to do GCSEs is predicted amazing grades, is one of the most popular kids in school and is a generally lovely person. It's up to you and your needs as a family if you put them in nursery.

None of my DC went to nursery. They didn't start until it was time for pre school. Most research supports the idea that up until the age of three, children benefit more from spending most of their time with their primary caregiver. So long as they're having plenty of opportunity to mix with other children and family there's no real benefit to nursery if they aren't required to go for childcare.

Mine didn't go to nursery as I was a sahm and we had plenty of play dates and activities to do. Nursery would have been too much of a tie. Sunny day? Let's pack a picnic and go out for the day. Cold or rainy day? Let's tuck ourselves up indoors and bake cakes or do painting.

Both successful and confident adults now.

No op, mine didn’t go until they were 3! I had this same conversation with the health visitor, and she said the funding is from
3 as that is when they get the most benefit from being at preschool!
I guess it depends how much you do with them before hand, toddler groups are good for socialising and meeting new faces, and I tried to spend time playing with dc, while at home, and craft etc. I think they benefit from the one on one. I don’t think there’s any difference between a child that’s been at nursery since he/she was a baby and a child that began when they turned three.

I think nurseries can make a huge difference for families who don't have the time/money/knowledge/temperament to really engage with a baby or toddler at home. But I can't tell the difference between the kids with engaged parents who sent them to nursery and kids with engaged parents parents who stayed at home and enjoyed doing a variety of things with their children, and kids with who spent time being cared for by enthusiastic and engaged grandparents or childminders or other adults.

My son didn't start nursery until 3 and he is doing really well now. Runs in happy and confident, glowing reports etc.

Won't send dd until she's 3 either (she's 2 now). She won't benefit by starting any sooner imo. We go to loads of toddler groups and they are basically nursery but with me in the background with a coffee!

Not at that age. Mine both started very young so we avoided horrendous settling issues, but it doesn't change who they are. My oldest is an introvert, picky about people, and slow to warm up. My youngest is much more sure of herself, bossy, independent. One started at 5 months, the other 7 months.

I bet skipping it altogether before school would make starting school a lot harder, but 3 years is fine.

Nursery won't change your child's personality. Until she's three the best place for her is with you. From 3 it will benefit her to be at nursery as it will help her prepare for starting school. She's still very little, don't compare her to others, there's nothing wrong with taking your time to get used to new people.

Well most of us didn’t start nursery until 3 and we seem to be muddling through!

Between 2 and 3 I think that there are some advantages in that you get things easily from nursery that you have to make an effort to do otherwise. Eg socialisation is the obvious one but you can also get that from toddler groups.

The other one to think about is what your own strengths and weaknesses are. I’m a mathematician so my kids did loads of maths and science stuff but I was less good at arty stuff so unless the kids asked I didn’t think to get the paints out. That didn’t matter though as dd’s main carer at nursery was arty. (And ds hated art like me so I got the comfort of them saying “gosh he really hates drawing and colouring doesn’t he”.)

Well you're never going to know are you? Your kids will be who they will be, nursery or childminder or home tbh.

My DS has been at nursery since 11 months. He is naturally quite shy and cautious but I honestly believe nursery has been amazing for him. He's very sociable, the teachers tell me he's popular ☺️ and his vocabulary is honestly amazing. I know that when I started school at 4, having not ever been away from my mum, I was totally lost and scared, it took me months to get used to it.
I would try and get your child into nursery at least on 3 separate days so it forms a larger chunk of their week and it'll help them adjust to school better.

It probably doesnt matter for neural typical children, but for neural diverse kids I think its useful to have issues flagged as early as possible. In our case anyway, we needed that early intervention from nursery.

All the research suggests that nursery is beneficial for children after the age of about 2 or 3.

(Not that it's actively before then, just the socialising becomes important at that stage).

I really think it comes down to personality.
so do what’s best for you and your family.
our LO has started early because was had to work wise, and even though he benefits from it and loves it as do we, we wouldn’t have gone this route if we didn’t have to (because expensive!)
of all my nephews who went early, half a are sociable, the other Half not so much. Of all that didn’t, half are sociable, the other half not so much. You wouldn’t be able to guess who did and who didn’t.
probably the funded hours kick in after 3 because that’s when it makes most difference.

I have 3 sons, both only attended 2 nursery sessions each week, they started the term they turned 3. Both were attached to me. My first son, went a few times, but said he would rather not go, so I never increased the sessions. My second son was extremely outgoing and very friendly, but hated being away from me, so he never went more than twice a week. Both are now happy, independent, hard working and generally nice young men now. Both were happy doing things with me, but I did take them to playgroups and play dates.

Seems like it doesn't make a big difference in most peoples experience, that's reassuring!