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Is moving again just too destabilising?

8 replies

Iamelm · 06/05/2024 07:46

I split up with my daughter’s father a month ago, and moved to a different area (closer to my family). She’s almost 3 and overall has adapted to the changes really well. She is however extremely shy and attached to me, so settling in to a new nursery had been a challenge.

When we moved it was all a little rushed and I had to find somewhere with spaces as I work full time and had already taken time off to move. Her old place was absolutely amazing, I was heartbroken to take her away, and although the new place is okay, that’s all it is…okay. I don’t get that soft cuddly nurturing kind of vibe that the old place gave, and I feel like she won’t get that same 1 on 1 love and attention to help her thrive. It’s still early days but she cries from the moment she wakes up on nursery days, and knowing the place isn’t anything special makes it harder for me too.

Theres another place a little closer to us that is rated as outstanding and looks amazing. They have a huge outdoor area with farm animals and all sorts. They do have a bit of a waiting list but I’d really love to move her there… is it just too much to move her again? The mum guilt is already overwhelming after the whole separation/move. I feel like in the long run it would be better, but am I messing her up by all this change??? 😞

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
OPOPONAX4 · 06/05/2024 07:50

My DC moved around a lot and to a different country up until he was 8. We also moved him because of bad vibes in a nursery and primary school. He coped well.

I would go with my gut instinct and mover her.

DustyLee123 · 06/05/2024 07:51

Put her on the waiting list and see how you feel when she gets offered a place.

roses2 · 06/05/2024 07:52

When does she leave for school? If September I'd leave her but if its 2025 then put her on the waitlist.

BusyCM · 06/05/2024 08:02

roses2 · 06/05/2024 07:52

When does she leave for school? If September I'd leave her but if its 2025 then put her on the waitlist.

The child is 2 years old.

InTheRainOnATrain · 06/05/2024 08:04

I’d look to move her if she’ll have at least a year there before school. How likely are they to have movement on the waitlist? Between aged 2 and starting school DS will have been to 3 different nurseries- first one closed down, second one is a filler and then he’s starting at the nursery of the school he’ll go to in September. Settling him into the first 2 were easy and he did a new holiday club at Easter with no issues except peeing his pants 🤣 so I’m quietly confident that he’ll be ok with another change! Kids adapt pretty easily.

LunaNova · 06/05/2024 08:35

I'd move her in your shoes.

Last year my DD started school nursery (age 3) and left the childminder she had been with for 2 years. My intention was to use the childminder during the holidays but she decided to pursue a different career so I had to find a new one.

In the school holidays last year, DD went to a new nursery but like you I didn't get the same vibe as her initial place and she was reluctant to go everyday. I wasn't sure what to do as I figured she only goes in the holidays so it's hard to gauge whether her reaction was because she missed school or because she didn't like the new setting.

In the end I did look for a new childminder and she's been going there in the holidays for about 9 months. It instantly clicked and I don't regret my decision to change although I was worried about the amount of changes at the time.

Iamelm · 06/05/2024 11:30

she will be starting school September 2025 :)

OP posts:
Deardear17 · 06/05/2024 12:39

id move her. It does make a big difference to find a place that feels right. Good luck x

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