Nursery asked to me to keep daughter home due to OFSTED visiting

[Fidgitigdif123]

So my daughter is 4 and has a diagnosis of autism. She has a speech and language delay, and needs some support throughout the day, particularly when it comes to toileting, but isn't too difficult to handle, and she generally keeps herself to herself. The nursery are always praising her for how good she's been during the day, and they always say she's a happy girl who enjoys being there.
I had a phone call from her key worker the other day (who also happens to be one of the nursery managers), asking me to keep her home the following day because they have an OFSTED inspector visiting. Apparently they don't have enough staff to be able to support my daughter while the OFSTED inspector is visiting (apparently they'll need a member of staff to show the inspector around, which will mean my daughter won't have anyone to support her during the visit).
I'm confused by this, as there's been countless times where they've had several staff off sick at one time (including her key worker), and yet she's still been able to go into nursery.
I'm actually starting to think they just want her out of the way for the day so it'll be easier for them to focus on the inspection, but surely this would be the best time to show off how good they are at dealing with children with SEN and other disabilities?
I genuinely don't know if I'm right in being a little bit upset about this, as it feels like they just want to sweep her under the carpet; like they're embarrassed by her being there or something.

I think it's disgusting tbh.

Because schools and colleges do.it all the time. Ofsted need to accept this is common place.

This would seriously make me wonder what they are doing on the days Ofsted aren’t in.

They could also up the ratio of staff tomorrow by asking 4 non SEN children to not attend?

Or ask 2 slightly needy/naughty children to stay home to allow them to showcase how well the staff work with the autistic child.

If that feels wrong as well, it's because it is. Corruption to pass Ofsted visits is not the way to improve the system. It simply breeds more corruption because "everyone's doing it".

You really are a piece of work, with your name calling and sarcasm, all aimed at parents of disabled children. I laughed out loud when that other PP called your posts "calm and measured".

Parents (mothers) of disabled children who won't tolerate their children being excluded from their educational settings are not "idiots". Imagine saying that and then in the next breath claiming that it's the people who disagree with you that aren't capable of understanding nuance 🙄

Shocked by some of these replies.

Who is central importantance here? Nursery Ofsted or child?

Does the nursery exist to pay the staff wages or to meet a child's needs?

If you want to put manager over the needs of your SEN child then that's admiral from.a getting into Heaven POV, but you will be in fir nasty shock at school thinking its better to put staff before your kid

Yes, do this if you want the nursery to fail the inspection, lose children as a result and perhaps close down. Good plan.

Are you generally happy and is your child? In that case I’d put your hurt feelings aside and support them in what they ask.

If you have wider issues, I’d be looking to move

Not only should she go to nursery but you should report their 'suggestion' to ofsted.

Shocking.

I’d be asking for a refund for that day and not worry any further if you are generally happy with them

I'd tell them you are more than happy to do this, so long as they don't mind you checking with other SEN parents if they have also been asked to keep their child back, and as long as they're happy that you will be reporting this request to Ofsted, possibly by waiting at the nursery gate to catch them as they arrive...

@theresnolimits

Yes, do this if you want the nursery to fail the inspection, lose children as a result and perhaps close down.

The nursery is already failing if they are trying to falsify the inspection and hide 'problem' children.

Covering up and defending ableism helps no one and perpetuates discrimination.

Are you generally satisfied with how they look after your dd? If so, do this for them. Yes they are playing the game but they have to.

Having been a 1:1 LSA previously with a non verbal nursery pupil who went through an inspection, I can confidently say, if you like the school, listen to them.

Our inspection was horrendous, the pupil I looked after was really unsettled by the change in routine and had a few meltdowns. This was completely unexpected as this was a first for the pupil in the school. The episodes involved a lot of upset vocalisation and sobbing and it broke my heart.

This resulted in me disrupting the lesson through no fault of mine or the child as she was running around and I had to chase her and settle her back down. I also felt I couldn’t remove her from the room as that would have looked really awful to the inspector.

I personally felt that the teacher was upset with me from the look on her face so I was on the verge of tears for 3 hours and I certainly wasn’t giving the pupil the best support could.

Ofsted are awful, there is no way to beat the system but you can make things easier for your daughter and her 1:1

This thread is appalling. I can't believe some of you are criticising @Fidgitigdif123 for advocating for her her daughter. The system is imperfect but thar doesn't mean that a child with a disability should be hidden away during an inspection. Seriously, that kind of attitude belongs in the dark ages. And the inspection 'might' pick up on issues within the nusery. Lack of scrutiny and inspection is what leads to abuse. @WarshipRocinante your posts are so offensive and self-righteous- calling people idiotic. You can't put all this on the shoulders of OP and her daughter. It's not her fault if Ofsted are not fit for purpose.

The issue isn’t about the inspection picking up actual issues @HappierTimesAhead - it’s about the way the disgrace that are Ofsted can use children with SEN as a tool to criticise a setting unnecessarily

It’s also not their fault that Ofsted aren’t fit for purpose.

The system isn’t imperfect - it’s a shambles and it allows inspectors to tear staff apart unnecessarily. And the negative impact of that ultimately lands on the children when staff leave

If you're absolutely sure that she is a happy girl there and that they are educating and treating her well, I'd go with it.

I'm a childminder and the inspections are horrendous. They fire questions at you for hours, without giving you a second to breathe, you hardly get chance to speak to the children and if every child isn't perfectly behaved and 100% engaged for 100% of the time, then you will be marked down. They expect all the children to be fully independent with things like coats and shoes, and expect them to help with food prep and pouring their own drinks etc. The children asked to go to bed at one point, and were told to wait by the inspector and I was marked down for not doing all sorts of age inappropriate things like spellings (2 year olds).

However, if they don't play the game then they will be marked down, even be at risk of a grade that means funded paces are lost. If you believe they are not hiding anything, I'd help them.

Thank you for this post and articulating this so well. I've been feeling uneasy about this thread all morning.

@Unicornleapfrog it is one thing if the nursery genuinely feel from knowing OP'S DD that the inspection would be very unsettling for her. In that case, they should be contacting DD's parents in good time to talk through what will happen and what could help DD with the change in routine. This is not what has happened. I'm sorry it is stressful, I really am, but excluding a disabled child is not a fair response. It is exclusion and it is ableism even if it is for 'the greater good' as some PPs have said. It should never be acceptable. It is a really slippery slope to ask (expect) the OP to do it 'just this once' to 'help the nursery'. It is totally different if it is about centring DD's needs but it really doesn't sound like this is the case (and if it is, the parents should be fully involved in the decision making.)

Also, Ofsted is of course flawed, but the response to that is not to hide children away and bend the rules. Nurseries do still need to engage appropriately, they need to be accountable, they do still need to be inspected, and provisions for SEND children definitely need to be monitored.

@Unicornleapfrog I have had a few 1:1 roles and know what the stress is like. I am sorry you had such a bad experience.
I once was a 1:1 for a very challenging child. If he was having a bad day he would try to hide or escape from the school. One morning he came to school in a very bad state due to a family problem. Unfortunately this was the day a very senior politician was visiting! When I heard, I wanted to get in my car and go home! Luckily I was able to keep him calm and in a quiet part of the school for most of the time. The child even had a long chat with a protection officer (who told him to behave for his teachers!) with no idea who was on the other side of the door.

Sorry just re-reading my post and remembering that 'in good time' probably isn't possible given last minute inspections. Apologies. My point still stands that difficulties should have been discussed with OP though.

Really difficult to respond without knowing the child's specific case and habits. Autism presents in sp many different ways. Could the absence of her normal caregiver at nursery on this day, coupled with a change in routine due to the inspection, workers' attention elsewhere really derail and distress her, causing a massive episode? Not only could this detract entirely from the inspection in a worst case scenario, this would be horrible for the kid. Alternatively, if her condition presents as her being just a bit more spaced out/less outwardly sociable than the other kids, it's a different matter. There is no one she fits all with ASD.

Update:
Thank you everyone for your responses 😊I've read through all of them 😊(for some reason I'm not able to edit my original post to add this update...)

I obviously have no idea what goes on when I'm not there, so for all I know my daughter could well be struggling and just being left to get on with it, while the nursery tells me she's doing okay. On the other hand, she may well actually be doing okay on her own. Because she's non-verbal, she can't tell me how her day was, so I kind of have to trust that they're telling me the truth.
She's very good with new adults, so she wouldn't be phased at all with an inspector coming round and looking at things.
I understand how awful OFSTED are towards educational settings and the staff that work there, and how some staff are treated by them is absolutely appalling. I've taken on board what people have said about their own experiences, and I'm so sorry you've been treated badly 😔
HOWEVER, I have to think about my daughter and what's best for her. I would be doing her a great disservice if I put aside what's best for her in order to make others feel better. It would be more unsettling for her to miss a day, as it's part of her routine.
I'm still undecided as to what to do about this to be honest. My instinct is telling me they're trying to hide something 😔

I wouldn’t accept that. It is devious and discriminatory. I would now be questioning a fair few things as to why they feel the need to exclude your child from the visit. After asking what it is they are hoping to hide from Ofsted, I would be asking to see evidence all of their planning and measures they have in place for your child. My trust in that setting wouldn’t be easily recovered.

Ofsted are evil bastards. Please support your nursery in anyway you can to help them get through the inspection.

I would not be 'rolling with this'. They're basically excluding your child because of her disabilities, it's discrimination and unacceptable.

Are Ofsted great, no, but that's no excuse for adults to informally and unlawfully attempt to exclude a CHILD for a day to make their own lives easier.

I find it quite bizarre how one headteacher commits suicide due to pressure about 'good grades' and there's uproar, yet schools pressure kids all the time over good grades and cause poor MH/suicidal thoughts/suicide far more frequently but that's just accepted.

And of course one of the reasons why some kids MH starts to get so poor is from being excluded for no good reason!

If your child's needs are being suitably met (which they should be) why on Earth would they not want her there the day Ofsted are in?

I think you're quite right op.