Visiting Nurseries - what to look out for/what to ask

[Duv]

I'm booked in to a few nursery visits, and I have a list of some questions to ask, but having spent the last hour reading various threads on MN 'Nurseries' page I've realised there's so much I don't know and so many more things to be scared about ! What would you recommend I ask about/look out for

Context: my LO will be going when she is 12 months. I'm not sure yet if she will go full time or maybe a little less. Definitely at least 3.5 days, maybe 4. Also I'm super terrified about leaving her in childcare, I've never been apart from her and I keep bursting into tears when I think about it, but I know I need to go back to work so need to just try and make myself feel better about the situation and make sure I select the best place I can.

Questions I already have:
-What's their availability/when can she start
-understanding how they calculate funded hours and their fees
-what's included, eg nappies, snacks etc
-do they spend time outside
-how does settling in work
-what kind of communication would we get day to day ( I have no idea what is normal here?)
-how many staff are there in the baby room (which is where I assume she will be?, but maybe not at 12 months??)
-what's a typical day look like schedule wise (my LO really doesn't have much of a schedule rn so it would be nice to know roughly where we are heading for when she starts)
-If we can arrive late/pick up early as and when we can? Researching nurseries they all seem to have LONG days (10-11 hours) I guess to allow time for commutes. But me and my partner WFH a lot and between us I don't think she needs to be in nursery from 8-6.30 (unfortunately we still need full days, just maybe more like 9-5). Like when will we, her parents, get to spend time with her if she eats breakfast lunch and dinner at nursery 😪

I'm wondering about the below things too, but I feel like they are maybe too knitty gritty/unimportant to raise on a first visit?:
-If we are to provide nappies, will they accept cloth nappies (which is what we use full time at home) (I'm wondering whether to get into this right now as it's not a deal-breaker, and maybe something to discuss down the line if we get a place? But it will impact our finances if we have to buy disposables when we already have cloth nappies.
-how often do they change their nappies (again I feel like maybe this is overkill on the detail, I just think about it because of the cloth aspect and it affects washing logistics, if they change when soiled Vs a blanket every 2 hours it makes quite a big difference.

Staff turnover is always a good thing to ask about, just to give you an idea of how consistent the care will be (and gives you a good understanding of whether the staff are happy there). Most places allocate a key worker for your child who is your main point of contact and will update some kind of online record of what they have eaten/nappy changes and naps.

I would also ask how flexible they can be to your LOs routine - at 12 months mine still needs 2 proper naps a day and some nurseries might not be able to/willing to accommodate this and will try to move them to one nap.

Finally, the sickness policy. How long do you have to keep them home for fevers/vomiting etc. Usually these are pretty standard lengths of time I think (24/48 hours), but useful to know in terms of being prepared for all the nursery bugs and the inevitable days off you will need to juggle.

Ask any questions you want really. You're leaving your child with them, who is mostly unable to communicate their needs at this time so you need to feel comfortable with the setting. You're also paying a lot of money for it!

A big deal breaker for me was knowing that they would have consistent staff who seemed to be happy in their jobs. I'm also interested in how they manage behaviour as the babies get older - what approaches they use etc (as time out etc is a big no for me!)

A day nursery usually runs until 5:30-6:30 but it would be unusual for all children to stay until that time, you will be able to pick up when you like. Nurseries operate according to need. Some parents need to work those hours. Lucky that you don't.

Most will be able to manage cloth nappies but do ask. When I worked in a day nursery nappies were changed every 3 hours, or when soiled.

Staffing is strictly regulated by legal ratio. Under 2 is 1 staff to every 3 children.

Most nurseries use apps to communicate now but you should also get a handover when you pick up.

You should be more interested in the children are engaged and not glazed over - are the happy and chatty or know there’s no point crying?

Safeguarding should also be on your list op, and asking about staff qualifications. DH and I are both safeguarding leads at our respective schools and we had plenty of questions about this.
I'd give zero shits about asking lots of questions, you are leaving your child with them.
I wouldn't get too hung up on expecting endless answers pics/updates via an app (ours used class dojo), I'd rather they were focused on the kids than recording every single second.

Do they administer calpol if teething / slightly under the weather or make you collect for every.sodding.little.sniff

Your questions are good and reasonable. Don't be shy or embarrassed about asking; you're the "customer" after all.

I would advise asking about staff turnover. And do they use agency staff. Not a deal breaker if they do (it's common for covering staff absence as they have to meet the ratios) but good to be aware of.

Find out what the arrangements are for naptime; do they have a separate, quiet and dark area for naps, where babies can sleep undisturbed? When I chose my children's nursery i like the one that had a small nap room adjoining the baby room, it had cots, floor beds and an armchair, and staff could settle children and check on them, but they were separate from the "action" in the baby room.

Oh and do they have a policy or anything in the contract about fee increases? How often do they increase the fees and do they have a cap on the increases?

Our nursery kept hiking the fees up and many of the parents were unhappy about it but you feel you have to just suck it up because your child is settled there and it's hard to find a place elsewhere at that point.

I'd ask about staff working hours and how many breaks they get. Happy staff are crucial.

This.

Also just trust your gut.

I vividly remember dropping in to our nursery without an appointment, the owner dropped everything to show me around and knew all the children's names. When we got to the preschool room one of the women swooped over, took DD for a cuddle and explained that she's usually in the baby room as she cooed over her. She's a good friend now six years later.

Obviously you want it to be clean and cared for, but don't be swayed by bells and whistles.

Our second choice nursery was owned by a teacher, and they were big on the educational side of things, but the one we chose seemed more like a substitute for home than school.

Ours take them out for a walk around the local area every morning (we live by the sea) and often to a playground, and then into the garden for a play in the afternoon. Outside time is so important, especially when they're toddlers, and getting out of nursery is best if they can manage it (not everywhere can, e.g. because they're on a main road).

But yeah, the Calpol thing. Gamechanger.