FTM is this nursery a deal-breaker for you?

[Naters3232]

I have just put my 10 month old into nursery it's been about 4 weeks now and have run into some issues and wanted everyone's opinion.

On the first settle I discovered parents aren't allowed in the building at all, I was disappointed but accepted. However, I get no updates on the app or pictures. At drop offs/pick ups (often different staff each time) when I ask questions its usually "I don't know, I will ask and message you on the app tonight" doesn't happen.

Today at drop off I handed over that my baby has a scratch on her hand and keeps itching it. An hour later got a rude message from management stating did I not notice baby has a cut which is bleeding on her hand.

As for my Little one she has become very highly strung since starting, cries alot when I leave the room. I know she is at the age for this kind of behaviour but I feel really anxious mainly as I have no idea what she does all day/who looks after her etc. I have raised this with management and 4 days after her last session (she attends Wednesday -fridays) I got a bunch of photos.

Would you guys change nurserys or is this normal?

Thanks

Personally I would change. I got updates throughout the day with photos, comments of what they had been up to, accident reports etc. we were also allowed in to the building and had good chats at hand over.

It sounds like a short staffed nursery. Maybe apart from the rude manager, that seems unnecessary. A bit of communication would help you, though. Do you have other options?

The point of a key worker is consistency at times like hand over to creat a secure attachment. That would be a deal breaker for me....but I'm a cm because I think children need 1 consistent person. You should have regular updates, lots of nurseries stopped parents going in through COVID and never restarted.
The hand is about existing injuries and safeguarding...did you make staff aware on drop off? They should be polite in asking though.

No I wouldn't like that - do you not get any info about what she's eaten, or anything like that?

I'm pretty laid back about communication from nursery, I really don't care about having DD's nappy changes recorded on an app for example. But that's because the nursery is good and I know that I would verbally be told if they were concerned about her nappies or if she was sore or anything. If I got told "dunno" when I asked how the day had been/what she'd eaten/if she'd napped I would be annoyed.

Yes, this would absolutely be a deal breaker for me. I also work in a baby room at nursery and we would never treat parents leaving their baby with us like this. It’s a time for settling, communicating and reassurance. And yes they are probably short staffed with a stressed out management, which is sadly common in many nurseries at the moment- but still. It lacks understanding and compassion.

No updates or photos through the day wouldn't bother me as long as I got info about their day at pickup - what and how much they've eaten, when they slept, nappies and a brief catch up on their activities. Ours has no app so that's always been our norm.

I believe current guidance is moving away from the previous norm of lots of documentation, which is a good thing IMO - let the staff spend time with the children rather than form filling.

Assuming your questions are normal things as outlined above, they should be able to answer them at pickup, that's the point of the handover.

The scratch on the hand is weird - would hardly deserve a mention for either us or our nursery.

It doesn't sound great tbh, but if you don't have other local options give them time, things may settle.

I wouldn't worry about the baby being unsettled, it is a big change and some of them do take a while to adjust.

I would move.

A good nursery understands that parents feel uneasy about leaving their children with strangers and go out of their way to make them feel comfortable and assist the settling in stage not to make the whole situation worse.

Mine both started nursery at 9 and 10 months respectively and my experience was nothing like this.

Since COVID, so before DC2 joined, we are no longer allowed into the actual rooms which I don't like. However all the local nurseries have held onto this so there's no incentive for them to change it. And luckily you can clearly see into the baby room from outside so I could still see them before they saw me at pick up.

The nursery uses an app which is almost all completed at the end of each day with rough guide to what they ate all day, naps, and nappies. In the baby room too they spend a few minutes at pick up anyway giving you all the information verbally first too and usually letting you know if they've done any special activities and certainly how they're settling in the first few weeks, any upsets, injuries and so on.

Our nursery allocates keyworkers a few weeks into a child being in a room as they wait to see who the child naturally seems to bond with best. After that time we get a letter informing us who they are.

The entrance has a big board with all the staff names, roles, photos and what room they are in so you can clearly see who is looking after your child. Each room has name and photo of the room leader on it also and a display outside showing name and photo of all staff with key children plus name and photo of their key children.

It sounds like a badly run nursery. Have you other options?

The lack of app updates wouldn't necessarily bother me as a stand alone thing. I'd rather my child was well cared for with lots of adult interaction rather than adults being hunched over an iPad all day.

However the fact the app isn't updated AND there is no staff consistency or any information given verbally at handover is concerning. Strong communication and a close bond with a key worker is so important.

I'd wonder if they're under-staffed.

Given how young your little one is, I'd want 100% trust and it sounds like you don't trust them.

My nephew was in nursery from 6 months old. They got updates on the app every day, including photos and a diary of what they ate. There was also cctv parents could check in on at any time. I'd want this if sending a baby at that age.

It's not unusual for parents to not be allowed in as this can be very disruptive.

There was one nursery I worked in that had a target of five pictures of each child doing various things each day. That bloody iPad was shoved in the kid’s faces relentlessly and it felt so contrived. I do love the odd pic if they’ve done a particular activity, really helps me picture my son’s day, but a proper verbal handover at the end of the day would always be my preference. Sadly this isn’t always easy- sometimes the staff have switched shifts halfway through the day and many times, they are temps who either don’t know the children well enough to hand over with the parents or they’re not allowed.

However, a check in with a key worker every now and then in vital in my opinion, and there should be a special effort at updates made for parents of new settlers.

Was this quite some years ago? Checking cctv would be a huge no, because of the other children involved, it’s a safeguarding issue. I’ve never heard of a nursery that would offer this. Lots do have cctv but not for the parents to randomly tap into.

With a 10 month old, if several things are not right after a month I’d be reviewing my options. It isn’t any single thing - if you have confidence in the place then I don’t need constant feedback either but putting it altogether and no staff consistency feels like a bad situation.

I wouldn't send my child to a nursery that I haven't been inside?

Change ASAP.

We do prefer to do drop off at the door as the children tend to settle quicker overall. However with new parents we would have had a good chat with them and shown them around and we do a diary plus verbal feedback at pick up. Parents are allowed to come in at pick up to see what's going on and chat to staff. We don't do tapestry updates in the day.

@FanofLeaves Different country but in the EU. About 4 years ago. I didn't realise cctv isn't commonplace here

I would 💯 change

Given your child’s age I’d also look into childminders

With a baby that young I’d want to know at pick up about nappies, meals and naps. Couldn’t care less whether it was a sheet of paper or on an app but ‘I don’t know’ is appalling. Photos wouldn’t bother me either, in fact lots of photos I’d find off putting as I would prefer focus to be on the kids than doing app updates but promising them and not delivering sounds chaotic. Drop off at the door, fine, but I’d expect to know who her key worker is and that they are there to take her every day unless off sick or something. In short, I don’t think this nursery sounds great and if I could move her then I would.